What's your ringtone?

I use a recording of an actual telephone, the kind that sits on an end table with the cord and receiver and plugs into the wall. The kind that used to be big, black and clunky, the type that could be used as a murder weapon if you wished.

Why?

Because a fucking telephone should SOUND like a telephone.

Nothing is more aggravating than hearing some shitty recording of "Lady Marmalade" come out of nowhere as everyone glances around, pretending they don't own a cellphone with "Lady Marmalade" set to it.

Whereas with my phone, when it rings, it sounds like actual ringing. I can say to people "Hold on! I have an incoming telephone call. I can tell because it sounds like an incoming telephone call and not a low-bitrate recording of Kanye West being broadcast through an elephant's ass."

Jam it back in, in the dark.