HEY ASSHOLE, GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD

People who come to a complete stop before making a right hand turn into a parking lot or driveway should be dragged into the street and trampled by angry horses.

This is all.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Denicalis

Americans driving in Canada. Not all Americans, mind you. Some of you northerners are okay. But my god. I see a Cali plate and there's a half inch of snow on the ground, I know we're going to be driving 10 mph and looking panicked while people zip past us. Always funny.

Irony. We Buffalonians gripe about the Canadians coming down to do their shopping and clogging up the roads with their rubbernecking. The only thing that slows us down in Ontario is that sometimes we come across dual-language signs. I know French, so I'm not really phased by that, but the Asian languages can be distracting. I've seen several different styles, which I can only assume to be both Chinese and Korean. But this has been largely within Toronto. Outside of the city, it's all francophone nonsense.

That must be it: in Buffalo, our signs are English-only. The Canadians are confused by the clarity.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

All of the following types of motorist are retards and should be harmed with blunt weapons:

1: Anyone who spies an oncoming red light and attempts to conserve inertia by never actually stopping but instead slowing down at 200 yards away, then slowly creeping up on the light, dragging the last fifty yards out forever at a whopping 3 mph.

2: Any nimrod who recklessly cuts through a gas station to avoid a red light.

3: People who urgently blaze by you on a two-lane highway, only to immediately move one car length in front of you, then maintain the exact posted speed limit the rest of the way - just because they had to be first.

4: Old people for whom 90% of the windshield is wasted because they insist upon driving by staring through the gaps in the steering wheel.

5: People who illogically conclude that, because most parking lots are private property, the laws of traffic conveniently vanish and that pedestrians only have themselves to blame.

6: People who dangerously surge out of driveways and parking lots, practically cutting you off, then refuse to make a legal right-on-red because it's obviously too much of a moral dilemma.

7: Anyone who parks diagonally across two spaces because, God help them, nothing shall ever touch their precious, precious Pontiac.

8: People who willfully torture a "captive audience" at a crowded red light by blasting their horrible preference in music at levels that rival commercial jet engines.

9: Anyone who notices a cop with a pulled-over motorist and immediately "plays it safe" by travelling at least fifteen miles below the posted limit, as though it's an elaborate ploy and the real troopers are hiding behind the next building.

10: Anyone who remains at a stop sign in the middle of fucking nowhere for more than three seconds.

11: Anyone with handicapped plates and a "No Fear" sticker in the rear windshield.

How ya doing, buddy?