Dating criteria

My criteria are as follows:

#1) Personality - She doesn't need to be my intellectual rival but she'd damn well better be interesting. Maybe she's funny or is a trivia buff. Perhaps she has some interesting hobbies about which she's quite passionate. The details don't matter too much as long as there's a spark of life beneath the exterior. She should possess just a bit of childish silliness, the sort that causes her to dash into a toy store on an impulse or which doesn't mind a short-lived food fight. Charisma goes a long way with me.

#2) Pride - I don't mean ego. I mean a healthy sense of self-esteem. Faith in herself and her capabilities. I'm not one to entertain insecurities or emotional bouts of self-pity. Her sense of self-worth should not be contingent upon my presence - or anyone's - in her life. Even if she's not the best-looking person, she should be satisfied with who she is and take no guff. If she can unleash a decent burp in private, then laugh about it, I can totally dig.

#3) Appearance - I won't lie, this is important to me. I'm not implying that the woman must be drop-dead gorgeous or anything. Simply, she must be well-kept and practical about it. Unchecked obesity will not work for me. Neither will being a human stick figure. Don't be afraid to eat a ribeye steak with baked potato but don't top it off with a double slice of cheesecake. I'm not into girls who dress for shock value either. That means Goths are out and so is anyone with a ton of piercings or tattoos. Sensibility is the key.

#4) Philosophy - There has to be some compatibility here. I have particular spiritual beliefs and though they're very open-minded, I would not enjoy being in a relationship with someone whose belief system could allow no room for my own. We don't have to agree on each detail - indeed, these contrasts make for great conversation - but some overlap is required for the sake of a peaceful coexistence.

#5) Motivation - I don't expect anyone to move mountains but I won't abide by inaction. She must be employed. I don't care if she's a CEO or if she folds shirts at JC Penney so long as she gets out of the house and contributes something to society. Money isn't an issue for me because I've never been in the game for riches anyhow. But I work hard despite my own physical limitations and I feel it makes me a stronger person. I respect the same value in others.


I don't feel as though I'm asking for the moon with these criteria.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Hydra

One thing I'm noticing is that a *lot* of the guys here listed something to the effect of "she has to be smart enough to converse with me".

Is it really so unusual as to need stating that a girl be smart enough to talk to you?

I actually went out of my way to avoid the old "intelligence" criterion. Being smart and being a good person are mutually exclusive. Though both would be nice, I'm more attracted to the second. As a highly intelligent person, I've gained enough wisdom to realize that not everyone will be on the same mental level as I, so expecting such will only lead to disappointment. On the other hand, a woman who is affectionate and loyal, I could derive great enjoyment from that, even if we never once spend an afternoon discussing Sartre. I'd rather she be charismatic and interesting than a brainiac like me, anyhow. We'd bring different qualities to the relationship and these complements would strengthen the union, whereas too much of one trait only creates an imbalance.

Intelligence is only one of a hundred redeeming qualities.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Yes, I agree with that too. That's what "mutually exclusive" means, Sass.

How ya doing, buddy?