Age Barriers in Romance

I've been single for a while and after approximately nine months of time spent enjoying the single life, I recently decided to renew the hunt for a girlfriend.

It is, however, seemingly more difficult now that I'm a good seven years older than I was when I began dating my ex. I've entered another age bracket, so to speak; I'm now in my early thirties and I've discovered that it's not quite the same game I was playing when I was in my twenties. The rules haven't changed but the attitudes of the players have.

I have plenty of social contact with young women in their late teens and early twenties. They're fresh out of high school and have experienced a bit of college. While many of them are nice and physically attractive, I find myself having little desire to date them. They haven't acquired enough maturity and perspective, I'm concerned that we'd find it too difficult to relate to each other's world. Their daily experience is no longer my own and I doubt I'd have the patience to entertain the insecurities that I now, in my wisdom, know to be trivial.

I'm not interested in older women either. I can accept someone who's one, two, maybe even three years older than me, but anything more feels innately awkward. If there's no possibility that we could've simultaneously attended the same high school, I tend to think of the woman as simply too old for me. Once again, her world and mine may not overlap well. I'm likely overthinking that one but I still can't deny my basic feelings on the matter.

On both sides of the coin, there's also the subject of acting in a socially acceptable manner. Set aside all the rhetoric about not caring what people think, because I often don't. Yet, I also see no reason to purposely invite strange stares or jeering comments - I'm not looking to date someone for the shock value. If you date someone who's too young, you risk being treated as a cradle-robber. If you date someone who's perceived as too old, you're treated as a weirdo (or if you're a woman, a golddigger). This is someone who might be with you for a long time; the disapproval of friends and family can drive a wedge between an otherwise happy union.


So I ask, how far above and below your own age are you willing to date? How young is too young? At what point does dating an older person stop being sexy and start being creepy? Do you react negatively when your friends date someone who's way too young/old?


Me, I'm 32. My cutoff seems to be 25-35. Girls below 25 are still inexperienced in many aspects of life and haven't yet acquired a full sense of themselves. Women over 35 are heading toward middle-age and sometimes become very oversensitive about their age and appearances. If they haven't been successful with romances, they might be inclined to "settle" and I wouldn't enjoy knowing I was the next-to-the-sort-of-kinda-okay-guy who came along. I require someone that likes me for me, not for merely having a pulse.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Pretty much. Two praying mantises trapped in the same jar won't fight if they're already dead.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Midna

Crash is 32 years old for fuck's sake. No cougar would be interested in him because he's too damn old.

Well, I'm feeling mighty confident now!

Originally Posted by lurker

I wonder what it's like when two people of similar age regard each other as too old. I should pitch this idea for a sitcom!

It wouldn't be a very interesting sitcom. The two protagonists would barely interact. He'd sit in the corner diner all morning and moan about dem crazy broads. She'd stay at her apartment and feed her nineteen cats.

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