Eat as much as you'd like, on us! (But don't lose your modest reserve).

This Saturday is "Employee Appreciation Day", which means employees are treated to free lunch. It's the same food but with a different message on the cake each time. Roast beef on weck rolls, goulash, cold cut platters, Italian sausage, fresh shrimp and cocktail sauce, antipasto and chef's salad, relish tray with pickles, olives, etc., pepperoni pizza, chicken wings, pretzels, chips, lukewarm soda, homemade punch, and vanilla sheet cake with inch-thick buttercream frosting.

It's not bad but it's entirely predictable at this point. I'd freak if they had three-foot subs cut into pieces, cookie platters or baked fish fillets. We all work at a supermarket and these things are just as available and simple to prepare as the usual fare. I enjoy chicken wings and sausage, so I usually make a couple trips to the conference room. I'm not ashamed to load my plate; the food is there and gets tossed if uneaten.

I need to keep my weight up, so anyone who complains that I'm immodest by heaping the plate full can kiss my ass.

Jam it back in, in the dark.