The "Change" phenomenon

This makes sense.

In order to define ourselves, we must also define what we are not. If we associate certain traits with negativity, and wish to distance ourselves from that negativity, we'll do our best to eliminate those traits, if at all possible.

It's disassociation. And yes, I've done it to a minor extent. My family is composed primarily of scientific types. Nearly everyone pursues a career that involves math and/or science. My father's a retired electrician. My mother was a microbiologist. My grandfather was a chemical engineer. I have relative who are x-ray technicians, accountants and nursing aides.

Because I've always had a dominating personality, I felt a need to stand out, even at an early age. Although I was just as capable with maths and sciences as my relatives, I found that I gained more notice (good and bad) when I used my creative skills. I soon began to focus myself upon drawing and writing, while many of my relatives chastised me for my foolishness. I wasn't able to fully respect anyone who wouldn't respect my choices (I was a precocious child), so when doing what I enjoyed upset others, it only made me happier. I'd found a unique niche in the family tree. I could point to numerous scientists, but only one artist - a distant cousin poet.

My family has finally accepted that I'd much rather draw and write than crunch numbers or play with machinery. And we get along a lot better now, so I'm not nearly as rebellious these days. But defining myself by what everyone around wasn't was a large part of creating my current self.

Jam it back in, in the dark.