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 Member 13922 Level 3.93 Oct 2006 
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I liked the flow of "It may..." and "Fine" really touched me. You do well in evoking an emotional response from your readers. Please continue.
 Jam it back in, in the dark.
Save your tears for the day
When our pain is far behind On your feet, come with me We are soldiers stand or die Save your fears, take your place Save them for the judgement day Fast and free, follow me Time to make the sacrifice We rise or fall |
Lady Jedi