North Korea wants to be an attention whore again...

Why would China help anybody in taking down North Korea? They're N.Korea's closest ally, for fuck's sake. There's too much Chinese investment in N. Korea to risk helping it crumble. Nevermind the dummy nation's serving as a bulwark against S.Korea's democracy as well as constantly hogging Japan's search light.

Kim Jong-il won't use his nukes on anybody. It's all very simple when you break it down. Kim doesn't want to lose power. If he attacks anybody, he dies. If he sells a nuke and someone finds out, he dies.

Problem is, an arms race in Asia might be in the works. That would be seriously uncool.

How ya doing, buddy?

But how would they pull that off?
Assassination's no good because the guy is always moving around and hiding.
Military invasion is no good because aggressive military actions are no longer "allowed" in our world unless they're for some intangible benefit such as "spreading democracy", which China would have no intention of doing.
Inciting a revolution has too much backfire potential, what with S.Korea as the typical smiles'n'sunshine neighbour everyone wants to be like.

I suppose we could release a genetics-specific virus that's engineered to target people who really, really, really like movies and are also assholes. Sean Penn's demise would be an unfortunate consequence.

There's nowhere I can't reach.