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I wonder if it's because the ref was Muslim as well that he felt he could speak out about it? I could imagine some other refs might not have brought it up in the possibility that they'd get "Well, you just don't like Muslims!" thrown in their face.
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This is a possibility, too. She may have been allowed to play by other refs in the tournament for the second reason you cited. They could claim "rules are rules" until they were blue in the face, but they would have still been labeled haters.
Now, the reaction to the ref who DID take a stand was uncalled for. Forfeiting the game because he was right? Blah's correct. The game should have been continued with another player, then a formal protest submitted. He knows what the hijab means--probably more than any other ref, and STILL he asked for it to be removed.
It's possible he WAS concerned for the girl's safety. One good grab of the hijab, and the girl can be strangled.
Jam it back in, in the dark.