Connection with exhuastion and being single?

Ok.... Well, I have been single for almost two years (I am 22). Although I don't find it a really big deal that I am single (The freedom is awesome!), sometimes I feel really tired and worn out almost everyday. I never really had this problem until after this summer... where I worked over 65 hours a week for four months...

Where is the connection between being single and worn out? For me, being with someone special (as in more than just a friend), helps energize me. I am the type of person who is very happy if the people around me are. Sometimes, it would be nice to be in a relationship again. Sometimes I wonder why I do the things I do... especially some of the intense volunteering I do at the racetrack in my hometown. I have no family who races, nor do I have a racecar, but I was elected as a Director last year, I have organized two major special events in the past two years, I do the website (Link on the bottom of my tag), do the point standings, cut the lawn during the summer (with help of course ), announce during the race program, submit the results to the local radio stations, and sometimes write the articles for the newspapers. I really enjoy doing those things and they keep me preoccupied with the being single stuff....

But now that I am back at University and seeing all the girls (and relationships that are going on...), I just feel that it would be nice to enter a relationship again... The problem is... There are no takers.

It not that I am being pushy (in fact, I push much less than I used to), but many of the girls I know, and who I have gotten along with VERY well, have all turned me down for dates, even casual ones...

At the same time, many of my friends (The girls) are all surprised I am single.... and wonder how the heck I have been for so long... In fact, one went as far to say "Well, you are pretty attractive, and a very nice person, so it surprises me..."

Maybe its just not my time, and most of you will probably say get a hold of yourself.... or that I am young, and have lots of time (Which I think is a terrible excuse...)

Anyway, what's you opinion? Do you feel more worn out being busy and everything, and when you have a chance to cool down with someone, there isn't really anyone there?

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Thanks for the advice. I have kinda realized that I need to find myself a little... Its not that I didn't know myself, but I had kinda got lost off the track as how I approach things, inculding women. I am taking my life cool again.

Hope it works...

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Well, it definitely doesn't have to do with those thing (My weight is really good... and some people think I am skinny.... which I don't know about that statement. I am considered an interesting person, honest, friendly, smart, etc), which may add to my exhaustion... maybe part of it is trying to hard to impress, and it wears me out when I don't get any results... Especially after two years.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Ayos

"Better words," probably not. Longer, boring, and more specific, yeah... but yours was more concise, which is actually "better" for most people. But I do agree - being in a relationship can wear you out. All my free time (and there's not much of it!) is dedicated solely to my girlfriend when I'm with someone.

By the way, if after you've tried all that and you've gotten the girl's phone number, and you're wondering how to proceed (e.g. how to get a date without screwing up the foundation you just laid, how to get into a RELATIONSHIP from here, etc.) just say so... I've got tons of this stuff, and trust me, it works wonders - and I haven't even begun to scratch the surface.

One important thing to note with the energy thing... even if you're exhausted, be energetic and passionate about everything you do. The reason girls love bad-boy stereotypes is because everything is an ADVENTURE with them, it's always exciting, even if it's something mundane like going to the grocery store. Which is actually a fun thing to do - tell a girl you're going shopping, and she should come with you, it'll be fun, it'll be an adventure. And then you're both so excited by the time you get there that you can't help but have fun, joking about other people in the store, throwing random items at each other/in the cart... just let loose.

Yeah, thanks for the advice. I may have to try something like that in the future... I mean, if I get the chance.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by bisha

To be straight up honest, I'd say suck it up and put yourself out there, else you'll end up with nothing. Your tiredness is just an excuse. Go out and have some fun, stop over-analysing crap and just let go, have a good time. It'll make you confident and raise your self esteem - two factors that'll get you laid/in relationships/ have women attracted to you left, right and centre. There's no connection except for mental laziness!

Yeah, I do over-analyse a bit......... ok, a lot. And yeah, I need to get myslef out there and just have a good time. I guess women notice when you are having a good time that I might be exciting to be around... I guess its the initial preception that starts the ball rolling, or not rolling...

Originally Posted by surasshu

By the way, if girls say they "can't believe" you don't have a girlfriend, it's usually not a good sign as such. If they really thought you were boyfriend material, they'd probably be your girlfriend. Unless they were already taken, but even then. You're probably giving off signals that say you're "domesticated" (for lack of a better word), which is a trait most single girls don't like in a guy. It makes you a good friend, but not a good lover.

How do you mean by "domesticated"? But I am beginning to see your logic. I think my biggest problem is being too honest, and in many cases... talking to much.

How ya doing, buddy?

In one way, I could said this is getting out of hand... in another way, I really want to see what is going to happen here.

Hmmm.... maybe my honesty makes me seem, not so exciting...

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by INDIGO-4

Listen up, after meeting you I can acertain that you are an alright looking guy and easy to chat with. Just stop thinking asking a girl out for coffee is such a huge deal because it really isn't. Stop wondering if each girl is your potential future girlfriend and just focus on getting to know them. If you meet one and there is a spark, it might develop otherwise it might not. Just don't try to force things.

Yeah, that is a really good point to make. Forcing issues only scares people away. Over the past while, I have been trying to be more relaxed and just having a great time. All things come with time, correct? Its been a bit better for me not worrying about things I shouldn't be worrying about in the first place. School and work comes first right? Its not that I am not available to women or anything, its just I need to just be cool and confident with myself. Right?

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