Looking for help buying a Guitar.

Eqiphone. Bang for your buck. Gibsons once you're ready.

Double Post:
www.musiciansfriend.com

Jam it back in, in the dark.

American Fenders, maybe. But by all means, feel out the indonesian makes before you take one home. We aren't even telling the poor soul what to look for. Heh. Go to a physical guitar shoppe and ask questions. Don't be embarrassed or shy. The people there selling what they've got are probably your best bet for any useful information. Key words are:

Intonation
Action
Tone
Sustain
Solid Body
Hollow Body

Point at any attribute of the guitar and ask what it is and what it does. If an employee can't give you ample education on those terms, ask another.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Cannot go wrong with Boss accessories. You can listen to samples at their site. The often arrogant musicians at www.musicianforums.com would be happy to school you in every way. If you post a humble thread, the elitists are likely to be kind.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I may have missed it, but what style of music are you interested in learning to play or innovate someday?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I meant genre/sound. ^_^

I was speaking idiomatically.