Age Barriers in Romance

Originally Posted by Encephalon

Still a bad idea if you actually KNEW she was 17.

You believe 'legal' in New Zealand is 16 years old?

As for age ... 6 up, 3 down. Since I'm 20 though, the 'down' side will probably go up as I get older. Unfortunately, a vast majority of the girls that I meet around campus are too into the "I'm the center of the universe" attitude, and the ones that are mature, intelligent, and appeal to me on both mental and physical levels are either already taken or aren't dating.

Then again, I live in a city with a 1million population, so there really ain't that much choice.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Encephalon

Age of consent varies from country to country, so yes, I do believe it. In Mexico it's as low as 15 in some regions. But this cat I quoted lives in the US (if his country of choosing is correct) so why would he think it's OK to ask out a 17 year old girl when he was 22?

To be honest though, 17 and 22's really only a 5 year age gap. That's really not that massive a difference, so I guess the taboo is much rather that people are 'afraid' because the girl is 'young', and possibly 'innocent' and dangerous situations might arise.

I think it really depends on the mental maturity of the girl in question though and maybe it's just me, but I'm not one into social-casual-dating thing. I'd much prefer wait then hit off with someone that I could potentially see being with me when we're old and wrinkled. Meh.

You'll be slightly eww'ed though .. a friend of mine dated a guy that was something like 25 when we were year 10 .. which I think is the equivalent of freshmen High School (?). That was creepy.

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@LeHah: I practice monogamy. The kind where you don't sleep with a girl unless you want to marry her, and stay married until you're dead. Personal choice, not being moral intensive or politically correct.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

But between 17 and 22? Two totally different points in life. It's not because a girl/guy is considered "young" or "innocent" - it's because a seventeen year old is at a completely different maturity level than a twenty-two year old. Unless, of course, you're dealing with a particularly stunted 22 year old, which I have certainly seen.

I don't believe in this "mature for 16" shit. It sounds like a huge excuse to me. I can't imagine too many sixteen year olds in high school being as mature as a twenty-two year old, and I don't give a good goddamn what anyone else says.

Hmm .. fair enough. I'll have to /nod to this one on the vast majority of the populace. But, from what I understand to be truth is that maturity is something arises out of life experiences, and while 90% of teenagers at that age are bloody drama queens, there were and are still quite a massive number left that are more 'mature' (I put that loosely) simply because of what life has thrown at them. This can be either/or broken families, poverty, lower social settings, illnesses, racial prejudice, etc. The world isn't a happy place really; I know.

This is just food for thought, so I'm deviating massively from topic at hand just 'cause I can. Thoughts?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by sprouticus

That's fair, maybe mature was the wrong word for it... She's smarter and more sane than the average 16 year old. Does that work?

That's better; I think I was sort of looking in the wrong direction when I went with "mature", so that's probably a better way of looking at it then I was.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

So how old are you, exactly?

I won't answer that just yet, since I'm sort of curious as to what age you think I might be.

Of course, I won't deny that I'm young, and there is far more in life that I have yet to see and understand. And of course, I agree to what you say about the speediness of maturity, but from my own life I have numerous examples to counter that.

A friend suffered from cancer, which kind of gave her a spin on life that was far more 'mature' then others. She took it in stride, and achieved well in both her social as well as academic life. Did things that would be considered 'mature', and approached her relationship and actions with others with a fair level of tenderness.

Another was from a family that wasn't so well off. Even with donations and charity from church, they struggled. She opted to leave school and work hours that would've killed most of us to get her siblings through school. Did all the things that was required to get her family through life and never grunted a single complaint.

I know countless stories of people around me that have suffered, lost, and gone through periods of their lives where they had nothing to rely on, and survived and came out the other side a 'mature' person, if the phrase is apt. I'm not doubting the vast majority of teenagers are immature and crazy, but having worked with and heard stories of so many kids I can't help but say something when generalizations are thrown around.

Now I've just deviated off the topic so much it ain't funny ^^"

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Your perspective sounds like a young one.

It sounds to me like some have called you "mature," despite your young age, and you're defending the idea that youthfulness doesn't go hand in hand with immaturity.

It is. And funnily enough, I actually haven't any body call me mature. Philosophical, maybe, but never mature (you'd have to know me in RL to understand that one).

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Bad experience does not equate to automatic maturity. Bad experiences can develop character, instill a sense of morality, and teach a person.

Awesome conclusion.

But, with that said, I do also have to point out we may have different ideas of what maturity is. From what I can read out, you're from a western society, while mine is Asian. There are different culture influences working at a deeper level, so we may have perceptions based on separate ideologies concerned, especially when various religious and theological doctrines are ingrained within. Of course, there's also the fact that I'm Christian, which in itself might say something.


But anyway, don't mind me blathering my mouth away. It's half 4am, and I should really be asleep :P

I was speaking idiomatically.

Hey, no need to get prissy about my religious views. It's not like I'm yakking my mouth off about God or something, merely a passive statement (albeit stupid in your eyes) that might have an effect on thought. That is, unless from what I read your hate for Christians.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

O, christ on a stick. Dragging in the religion to explain the definition of "maturity?" Sigh.

I didn't drag in religion to explain maturity, more as an added possible element to an already complicated question. Choose and discard at your whim.

Originally Posted by Encephalon

That's not monogamy, buddy. That's celibacy... And celibacy can kill you.

Definition: Monogamy is the custom or condition of having only one mate in a relationship, thus forming a couple.

I'm sure I'm sticking pretty close to that one.



edit: screw that wall-of-text. It started to look more and more like my paper for class. New question: what's too old? Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Denicalis

You're misreading the definition, mate. Monogamy is only fucking the person you're dating. Not only ever fucking one person all the way until you're married. It means you don't cheat in relationships, not that you wait until marriage. So you're actually using it wrong, the word you want is celibacy, not monogamy. I date girl A, I fuck girl A. I break up with girl A. I date girl B, I fuck girl B, I break up with girl B. I date girl C, I fuck girl C, I break up with girl C. I've been monogamous with all of them. See the difference?

Ah, right. My fault then.

Originally Posted by LeHah

Well, thats the problem with religious people. Everything you say or have a thought on is based on your religious beliefs and everyone else perceives it that way.

Like Bruce Hornsby said "Thats just the way it is".

Well. Shit.

FELIPE NO

Really that bad, huh?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

It's not exactly as if I have no interests ... I do go snowboarding, I'm in a band, regularly attend tactical paintball games .. and various other crap.

Ugh ... sounds like I'm placing myself in a love column advert.

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