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 Member 1293 Level 12.09 Mar 2006 
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You could stand to not be so ambiguous about the settings your story will take place in. Does the 'naked city' have a name? What is the name of the restaurant? Does he know anyone inside the restaurant? While it's fine to leave details of other people inherently vague if they aren't important, doing the same to the environment makes the story bland and unimaginative. Obviously you can't take the time to create a fully fleshed out world in a short story, so you need to be certain that whatever imagry you use will be potent enough to make up for that lacking.
Jam it back in, in the dark.  |
Sol