Weird dreams

I've got so many weird and fucked up dreams, it's not even funny. I've been keeping records of my dreams for about 2 years. I've got several dreams I'll talk about here. The first one I've had was from January:

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For some odd reason, I wished Lizardcommando would appear and help rid the world of terror. I don't know why I made a stupid wish like that, but I just did.

Anyways, my wish came true and with a white flash of light accompanied with the Doom teleporting sound, Lizardcommando appeared but then he shot up my house. The funny thing is that I didn't even give a shit. Armed with his trusty Colt .45's modified with laser sights and exploding hollowpoint bullets, dual MP5K's, an XM8, Sawed off double barrel shotgun, and a Katana, he looked like he could take on legions of insurgents, terrorists, gangsters, murderers, the BTk Killer, etc. He said he had some stuff to do and he wanted me come and watch how people should deal with psychos, so he teleported us to some really weird places.

First he teleports us in the one of the airplanes that crashed into the Twin Towers and etc. The terrorists spotted us, but they didn't stand a chance against the government-hired killer. With the Berzerk Sphere and a short sword, he chopped off their arms and lob the arms into their stomach, impaling them and then punched a hole through their skulls to finish them off. And then LC would pick up one of the Box Cutters and throws in that one douche bag's head (the one everyone always remembers, it was Mohamad Mokaba or something. Who cares.) Anyways, LC carves a target in his head and when the Mohamad guy's screaming bloody gibberish, LC smashes his ribs, impaling his vital organs and throws him off the plane and takes out a high powered Bolt Action Rifle (from nowhere!) and shoots him in the middle of the air (shoots him right in the craved up target) and he blows up into a mist of gold coins and everyone down below starts taking them thanking the Reptillian hero. Lizardcommando and me continues teleporting to the other airplanes and single-handedly kills off each and every one of the terrorists. I thought the day was over, but apparently Lizardcommando had other stuff to do, so we teleport again.

Now we're at Columbine, so he tells me he's going to show the Jefferson County SWAT Team how their job should be done. Lizardcommando snuck through the ventilation shafts and when saw the two dumbasses in view... BLAM! Shoots one of them in the head! And the guy's head explodes from the hollowpoint bullet filled with enough explosives to clean a baby elephant's head off! He jumps down below and while the other guy tries shooting LC down with a shitty TEC-9 and missing like crazy, he fills him with lead with his trusty MP5K's. The guy's in a pool of blood and LC tells the other people hiding to get the hell out and get paramedics to tend to the wounded. The guy tries to shoot the kids running away, but he gets his arm blown away and and then another bullet right between the eyes. I somehow end up inside that school and then Lizardcommando said there was a giant army filled with all of the scum-of-the-earth pricks and we teleport down to some giant hellish-looking floating platform which is right above Los Angeles where the giant army was being made.

I was floating in the air for some reason watching through a bunch of cameras when Lizardcommando went against the army of assholes. So many serial killers, insurgents, terrorists, psychopaths, religious nutcases, every jack ass imaginable charged at Lizardcommando. Jack the Ripper couldn't touch him! Hell no! LC cut the fucker in half and then kick his top half at Scott Peterson and then right before he tries killing his wife, Lizardcommando shoots off his legs with a sawed off double barrel shotgun and then stabs him in the temples with two bowie knives. The BTk killer dies even quicker than Jack the Ripper because LC grabs his head and slam it down into the ground and then equip himself with a Bezerk Sphere and smash his brains into nothing. The Son of Sam came out of the ground and tried shooting at me, but Lizardcommando jumped in front of the crazy psycho's line of fire and deflected the bullets. When the Son of Sam ran out of ammo, his arm blew up and a drill came out and started charging at LC, but LC dashed forward and punched right through his stomach and then ripped off the drill arm and smashed his skull in with the drill arm and turned it on and then all this blood and gibs flew everywhere, turning the Son of Sam into a pile rotten meat. Then these Iraqi insurgents and the Afghani and Iraqi cannibals who killed and mutilated and ate parts of those US soldiers two or three years ago tried to bite Lizardcommando, but BLAM! BLAM! His good ol' Colt .45's gibbed them into oblivion.

Then all of a sudden Osama jumped into the air and swung a giant axe, but he was riddled with bullets by LC's XM8 and then threw his mangled bullet ridden corpse into a stick, impaling him through the heart. Abu Zabu Marcofi had giant hammers on his hands and swung like a mad man, but Lizardcommand tripped him and and Abu Zabu Marcofi fell inside a giant meat grinder. Another swarm of jack asses teleported onto the floating platform and charged Lizardcommando! He was out of ammo and all he had was his Katana, but I throw Lizardcommando another Berzerk Sphere and he is now filled with even more rage! He charges the legion of evil beings and starts slicing, dicing, and slashing his way through them! The body parts and limbs and gibs fly all the way up to where I was!

Just when half of the army was being desimated and destroyed, I woke up and I had about 30 minutes to get from my home to my psychology class...

Thought that was fucked up? Here's another I had from February:

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I dreamt that I was watching 24 and when someone mentioned Walt Cummings's name, I heard two idiots giggling behind me. I turned around and I saw Peter and Chris Griffin! Chris was like "Haha. He said Cummings." And Peter was like "Cummings. Ehhehehehehe. (that was supposed to be his signature giggle)" I look back at the TV and everything turned into the Family Guy-style animation/artwork. I was really confused and when I looked back at Peter and Chris, the entire world turned into the Family Guy-style animation/artwork!

This was my most recent dream:

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For some reason I was in the Surreal Life. I don't really remember who the other people were. All I know is that there was a hippy dude with scraggly long blond hair, a fat guy, that Omarosa bitch and that Janice Dickenson bitch.

Anyways, we all arrive at my grandparents' house for some reason. I was getting out of the car and i see some large rocks flying at me so I duck and the windows of the car (which was a black SUV) had shattered. When i got up, Omarosa and that Janice bitch were cackling like whorish witches. I few minutes later I was walking to the backyard of my grandparents' house and more large rocks were thrown at me. One of them almost knocked me in the head and saw the two bitches laughing like stupid bitches so i just "Ok, fuck this. I don't even know why I'm here. I'm outta here. See ya." So I walk across my grandparents' backyard and the hippy guy said 'Yeah, I'm with ya man. Fuck this shit, man!" So we both head to the exit then all of a sudden I hear foot steps and I look back and Omarosa and that Janice bitch swung bats at my head and I woke up.

Has anyone ever had a dream where it felt so real that you reacted in real life? Like this one for example:

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I was in this party at night and there was a pool. I was swimming for a minute then there was some kind of commotion. I got out of the pool and everyone was staring at me for a few seconds. Then I see a bunch of jock/preppy looking guys yelling and pointing at me. I thoutght things were going to get out of hand so I run out the door and my legs felt really wobbly so I stumbled out. I was running through this courtyard and I run into a few people. There was this chick that looked a lot like Eliza Dushku, but I only had a short glance. I fall into a bush and I hid there. I see the jock guys running every in a frenzy, but two guys stayed in the area I was hiding. They looked real pissed off for some odd reason, then all of a sudden, a dalmation was barking and ran towards my direction. I stumbled out of the bush and one of the jock guys had a hunting rifle pointed at me. The one with the rifle told his buddy to call the other guys. So he ran off and I was still stumbling around because my legs were feeling like jelly and I was yelling at him "Don't use that rifle. Fight me like a man." So the jock guy threw the rifle away and he stands there. I yell out "Fight me!"

What happened after I woke up was that I actually shouted out "fight me!" so my brother and mom got startled and asked what that noise was and I had to tell them I was having a dream. Crazy, eh?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I just had a weird dream last night:

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So my parents and I were at Target and they wanted to get something (I don't remember what it was) and this chinese lady was being a total bitch by intentionally pushing us when she walked by. The first time she did it, I just shrugged it off, thinking she was having a bad day or something. But she kept coming back and pushing us. Her kid would also tag along and curse at us when he walks by. After the third time, I finally walk up to her and ask her "Why do you keep following us?! What's your fucking problem." She flips out and rips off my jacket and stomps on it, screaming obscenities. Security personell arrived and escorted her out of the building.

Half an hour later, we leave and head to our car. Before we could get to our car, the chinese lady pops out from behind on of the parked cars and starts chasing us. She was weilding a large kitchen knife and was yelling at us. My dad tells me and my mom to get inside the car. I jump in and lock the car. The chinese lady's boy jumps on my mom and tries to bite her head, but she throws him onto the ground and then my dad picks him up and then slams him into the cardoor.

That's when my dream ended. Call me crazy, but could the reason I had this dream have been the fact that i had chinese food last night?

There's nowhere I can't reach.