My story thus far (warning: it's long) and where I would like to be

After reading your situation, I have to agree with a few things Dragoon came up with. Here are some of my additional thoughts.

Take this as a life experience. Shit happens. But that doesn't mean you have to take it and agree with it. Harsh as it sounds, it seems like you let yourself get walked over like a mat. I know you're in a difficult situation, but no person, whether in a financial crisis or not, deserves to have shit flung at them unless you are stirring the mess itself. Since you're an innocent party, you shouldn't have sucked it up and got on with your band's unfriendliness (calling your guitarist back and agreeing with him is one). And since a band needs to have all players on good terms to be good, it seems like they just don't care about you or the band for that matter. In this case, you're better off finding another band. They made you out as the blame-for-all kid, and I'm surprised you stuck it out for as long as you did. Bad thing, you avoided confrontation by agreeing with them or apologizing for things you didn't do, and that just adds fuel to their dickery. You don't owe them anything. Tell them to fuck off and leave.

If you should learn one thing from this experience, it's to toughen up and don't be afraid to confront people when things get unfair or you feel you are unjustly treated. There are nice and mean people in this world, and you just ended up with some serious dickheads. That doesn't mean there aren't anyone out there who'll treat you like a real friend. For those kinds of people, you build a reliable network. As for the assholes, just ignore them and move on.

As for moving, go for it. You're better off with someone else than your guitarist.

Jam it back in, in the dark.