GFF Literary Workshop: Trial Week 3

As a former slave to the politics and environment of retail, I thought this piece captured and expressed the feeling of that world rather well. As an illustrative piece, it worked splendidly. If it was meant to be anything else, though, it fell short.

Personally, I felt no incredible need for dialogue, considering there was implied dialogue, and the actual words would far too easily detract from the piece itself. I'm sure others would disagree with me there, but that's what I think. Overall, I'd give it a B-minus. Solid stuff, but could have been so much more.

Also, you may want to rethink the way you use certain words. It's difficult for me to give specific examples, because it's kind of a vague thing for me anyway, but it just FELT sometimes like you were forcing a fancy word in there to seem more intelligent. Again, though, that's just me.

Jam it back in, in the dark.