Hey! Are you listening to me?

I can't answer in authority, since I am not a typical guy. However I will say that in my experience, those who I've observed to be "typically guyish" don't know how to truly converse unless you share a narrow field of interests with them.

The thing is, for a lot of people, their favorite subject is themselves. (So much wrong grammatically with that sentence but oh well.) But there is a difference between relating a part of the conversation to something in your life, and making the conversation only about you. I find myself doing the latter quite a bit while trying to do the former. The main difference I can see is being aware of it.

So make him aware of it. Show him how he diverts the conversation, if at all possible. This is another part of communication.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Well, Fire On Ice's post was WAY too long and boring to read so I just skipped over that one (jay-kay, jay-kay ) but I just thought of something else.

Everyone fails to listen well enough at some point or another. Some do it more than others, some do it more with one person than another, but it always happens. So if you want to know if it's his personality, and not just the way he is with YOU for instance, observe him with others.

And if you wanna know if it's just a male trait, observe some other males. Although, I'm betting you've already spent time with and observed other males, and come to a conclusion anyway.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by kat

I'm spending more than just time with this guy

Not sure I follow you there...

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if he's not interested, he won't pretend that he is, which I'm not sure if it's selfish (which I'm thinking it is since I do directly the opposite, especially when I care for that person)

Well, you may think it's selfish, he may think it's honest. Perhaps a little too honest, but feigning interest in something and having the other person discover you really weren't interested at all, is usually worse than just acting uninterested.

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Or maybe I'm just sitting here trying to find something wrong with him since he's the most perfect guy I know.

This kind of statement usually hints that there's way more wrong with him than you're willing to let yourself see or even admit if you DO see it. Usually. At the very least, it shows a tiny bit of idealization, which may not be a bad thing, but it's something to be careful of. Realistically, what makes this guy so perfect?

(Edit: Double Post)

Originally Posted by The Wise Vivi

Yeah, I have been known to talk about myself too much, but I don't think I am that anal about it. I am usually over the top when I first meet someone, but after a while I tone it down and let the woman tell about herself. I sure love telling stories however.

Well yeah, because it's key to make yourself interesting, and stories are great for that. My favorite thing to do, though, is tell the woman about herself. It has to be accurate, of course, but I haven't been wrong yet when telling a woman profound things about herself within 15 minutes of meeting her.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by kat

I thought it was obvious but he likes me and we're been spending a lot of time together.

That's what I figured, I just didn't want to assume something when you didn't say it outright.

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That's where it gets kind of tricky, I don't feel I'm being dishonest when I pretend to be interested in what he talks about (usually his major, his frat stuff or football), I feel I'm being considerate in wanting to learn more about him and also allowing him to talk about the things that interest him

You kind of stated the major defining factor right there. There's a difference between wanting to learn more about him, and pretending to be interested in what he's talking about. If you're pretending, you're not interested in what he's talking about, therefore whatever he's talking about is not something you want to learn about. However if it is something you want to learn about, it automatically becomes interesting. Thin line but still completely different things. You're being considerate, and I'd appreciate it a lot if a girl took time out to listen to me talk about something she's not already interested in - if she really wanted to learn about it and learn what could make it so interesting. If she was just pretending to impress me, or make me like her better, or appreciate her listening and conversation abilities, that's kind of manipulative and makes me sad. Harsh, and perhaps a bit too general, but I think you get an idea, right?

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because inevitiably what interests him should interest me to some degree, right?

Maybe yes, maybe no. No two people have to share the exact same interests, and it's usually more interesting if you don't. An uneasy thought is that you're saying if it's his interest, it should become yours too, because you like each other. This is a dangerous line of thought and in combination with the pretending, may cause you to live your life for someone else without even realizing it.
However, I'm probably just overreacting to that, and I'll take the question at face value. You should at least have an interest in letting him pursue his own interests.
If you don't have any interests in common, though, no matter how engaging his personality, you'll find that you have nothing to talk about with each other, and any long-term relationship will probably fizzle out eventually.

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I know my statement sounded a bit idealistic but there's a difference between me calling him the most perfect guy I know, and a perfect guy. He's got flaws too and I do see them, but what attracted me to him in the first place was what a gentleman he is in treating women and what good manners he has, which is so rare to find. Also he's got a great personality and is hilarious

Ah, someone who appreciates chivalrous gentlemanly behavior, and can recognize a good combination of that, personality, and humor. If he's got such an awesome personality, surely you can find some mutual interests.

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Really I feel that the problem (if it even is one) is easy to fix, I know if I tell him how I feel, he'll try harder to listen better but I was simply curious if this is a trait universal amongst males or simply his own thing. I'm starting to lean more towards the a dominant male personality trait since I've noticed and asked some guys I know, and I've gotten mostly the same answers. The only difference is the type of interest they would pretend when hearing things about girls that don't interest them.

I think it's a dominant trait in general, not just in males but females as well. I've seen it just as much in girls as guys, now that I think about it. You however seem a rare type who makes a conscious effort to share interests, learn about people, care about their life and not just how they fit into yours.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

I almost always (almost) listen at full capacity. I listen to things at such full capacity that I've developped a nasty habit of eavesdropping.

Thank God I'm not the only one. Sometimes I feel very guilty, but I can't help it, people are so... loud when they talk. Sometimes. It's not like I go out of my way to eavesdrop, unless of course I feel it would somehow be right to do so (which has happened once in the past.... lifetime.)

I was speaking idiomatically.