Connection with exhuastion and being single?

While I don't think being single is going to cause you more exhaustion necessarily (though it may frustrate you to the point of exhaustion sometimes,) I do think exhaustion will cause you more being-single.

Being a nice guy, being physically attractive, even having money from your 65-hours-a-week, all this stuff can help you, but there's something deeper going on here.

I've recently been working on this area of my life as well, since when I am single (which I currently am) I tend to stay that way longer than I'd like, and tend to encounter rejection, turn-downs and stand-ups way more than is absolutely necessary to throw a guy's self-esteem and energy in the incinerator, if you know what I mean. And I've discovered a LOT of things which I'd be more than happy to share with you. Mojougwe is right, you can't be trying so hard you look like a desperate detective searching for some clue. Relax, lean back... if you see someone attractive in some way, approach them. Be completely original and unique, don't be like the 10 other guys that have approached her that day who say things like "Hey, I usually don't do this, but I had to come say something, because you are absolutely gorgeous" or something like that. No, say something intense, unique, challenging, something that will make her stop in her tracks and notice you and respond to you with more than just "Oh... thank you." Don't insult her and don't be a dork, but find something that is totally different and will make her see you as INTERESTING. Once you're interesting, funny, and mysterious, your other natural attractive attributes will enhance that even more.

That may be a lot to swallow at one time, but let me just give you an idea of one of my favorite "openers" that I use pretty often, that will guarantee me a girl's phone number if i'm meeting her for the first time. Keep every conversation shorter than 10 minutes, usually 5 is good, and always react to things she says, especially if what's said is almost a challenge to you, with something witty, something that would ALMOST be arrogant if it wasn't so funny.

Bump into her, then look at her with a totally straight face and say "Watch it, punk." Like it's her fault. Then when she starts to get that shocked look on her face, bump her again with your hip and grin, maybe even laugh, as if to say "I'm just messing with ya." Common reaction is "You jerk..." and a punch on the arm. From there you can introduce yourself, perhaps even joke about it ("I'm Joe - no, dammit, I mean uh... Mark. My name's Mark. Seriously.") tell her outlandish tales of what kind of car you drive ("Uh, yeah, it's a 1978 Pinto, I painted it pink and green last night, wanna see?") and your job ("I mow lawns... yeah. But I do a really good job of it.") and bust on her about asking for that kind of information and trying to pick up on you with lame lines like "what do you do for a living?" If you run out of material or you're running close to that 10-minute mark, disengage from the conversation with "Well hey I'm meeting up with some friends in a few minutes, nice chatting with you" and start to leave before she can really respond. Then just as you and she kind of disconnect, turn back and go "Hey... do you have e-mail?" If she says yes, say "Great, write it down for me." (Have a pen handy at ALL TIMES.) While she's writing it down, say "Go ahead and put your number down there too." Don't ASK. Just tell her to do it. Nine times out of ten, she'll do it. And while she's writing down the number, you can ask her "Is this a number you actually answer?" or, my personal favorite is when you get the number, hold up the paper and go "Okay. You get one chance. I will call you once. If you don't answer, I will leave one message. If you do not call me back, I won't ever call you again. Don't screw this up." And say it all very seriously... with a slight smirk so that she's left wondering "Is he being serious? I can't tell... I better not flake out on him just in case."

Also, don't call right away. That's clingy. Give her about two or three days to wonder if you're going to call.

As a sidenote, if the girl is an attitude, or if she seems like she won't be giving out her number no matter how charming you are, one of my favorite things to say is this: "Listen... I'm going to tell you something, about yourself, that nobody else who has only known you five minutes has ever told you." That gets her interest at least a little, and she'll throw a "Okay, what?" at you. Then you respond with this: "You're a cool, collected lady. You've got it all together. You know what you want out of life, and you don't waste your time. But underneath that grown up... i guess SOMEWHAT flattering exterior... is a sensitive little girl. You can act like things don't faze you, just brush it off if someone says something negative toward you, but I know deep down inside, it gets to you. It gets under your skin, it's on your mind almost all day, you think about it all the way home. Sure, you never show it, but it's there."

This sets you up as mysterious, insightful guy. The kind of guy girls look at from then on and whisper to their friends "I feel like he KNOWS me... somehow. It's like a connection."
If she's still an attitude, you don't want anything to do with her anyway.

Now, as for girls you ALREADY KNOW who are turning you down... my only advice is to show them that you can be totally self-confident. Be cocky and funny at the same time, sharpen your wit ON THEM, make them enjoy your company as much as possible and always leave the conversation on an UP note... if things are feeling really good, THEN is the time to say "Hey, it was fun, I gotta run I'll catch up with you later" cause then they're left going "Hey hey wait, we were having so much fun, when can I see you again?!"

And if you think this is manipulative... it's not. It's far less manipulative than spending all your time trying to impress them or compliment them and give them things to make them like you. Don't seek approval from women. Deserve it, and know you deserve it.

I know this was long, but these really are great suggestions. Take it from a nice guy who was without a girlfriend until he was 17... this stuff works, the other stuff doesn't. You can tease and bust on women and be witty and make them laugh in that shocked way, and still be a nice guy. In fact, it's even BETTER if you bust on them, but act like a gentleman by opening doors, pulling out chairs, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, etc.

Just try it, at least. What've you got to lose by trying?

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"Better words," probably not. Longer, boring, and more specific, yeah... but yours was more concise, which is actually "better" for most people. But I do agree - being in a relationship can wear you out. All my free time (and there's not much of it!) is dedicated solely to my girlfriend when I'm with someone.

By the way, if after you've tried all that and you've gotten the girl's phone number, and you're wondering how to proceed (e.g. how to get a date without screwing up the foundation you just laid, how to get into a RELATIONSHIP from here, etc.) just say so... I've got tons of this stuff, and trust me, it works wonders - and I haven't even begun to scratch the surface.

One important thing to note with the energy thing... even if you're exhausted, be energetic and passionate about everything you do. The reason girls love bad-boy stereotypes is because everything is an ADVENTURE with them, it's always exciting, even if it's something mundane like going to the grocery store. Which is actually a fun thing to do - tell a girl you're going shopping, and she should come with you, it'll be fun, it'll be an adventure. And then you're both so excited by the time you get there that you can't help but have fun, joking about other people in the store, throwing random items at each other/in the cart... just let loose.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by INDIGO-4

Because you just know trying to find a girlfriend is as formulaic as deriving an equation in calculus. Input the right questions and you get the desired response. Have you been playing too many dating sims recently??

I'll go ahead and assume that you're simply saying that no certain question or statement works all the time with every girl. Which I'll accept. Pickup lines are just about the worst idea in the world. The idea I'm trying to get across is the ATTITUDE behind it.

Although, I will go on record and say this... not only has this EXACT STUFF I posted worked EVERY SINGLE TIME (which has been MANY, not few) but it's also worked EVERY SINGLE TIME for other guys that I've suggested it to.

Can I tell him exactly what to say in order to get himself a girlfriend? Hell no. But I can definitely give him some examples that will convey the proper attitude, and raise his chances above those he would have if he was just your boring, everyday "nice guy" (or as some women would say "wussy") ... I'm speaking from overwhelming repeat successful experience here, I'm not just assuming based off of one or two relationships.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by RAZGRIZ-2

Yes well I totally believe this, given your post. You can just about say anything, doesn't mean I have assume it's true. Also given I am a broad, and not easily impressed, these guys must be asking out real dolls.

Yes, of course you can take everything I say to be made-up. I am a loser, who gives other losers loser-advice to make them even more of a loser, because misery loves company. None of this stuff actually ever works, and definitely not on interesting people.

I'm not really surprised you don't think any of this is as effective as I do, because you don't really seem like the kind of girl that I would be interested in socializing with. But if you have such a great idea of what WOULDN'T make someone interesting (energetic, passionate, fun) then you must know what WOULD so please give me some pointers so I can stop being such a "loser" and stop dating good-looking women who aren't emo, anti-social, neurotic, or stupid. I'd much rather find my way into the niche of "she-woman man-haters" and "rude annoying bitches." Not that you are one, but you may just give me a clue on how to get there.

Originally Posted by RAZGRIZ-2

Once again I'm hard pressed to believe that you of all people have repeat successes. Especially given your history here. Yes I do remember you.

I'm wondering if you're referring to my history of posts on the board and the general reaction to them, or my history with women? (Which by this time is over a year and a half, two years old? More than enough time to make dramatic changes, little girl.)

But hey... let's go documentary-style. I'll go find each of those women, kiss them and take a picture of it, one right after the other, and post them here. Then you'll say something about how they did it as a favor or because I dared them or bribed them in some way, and I will laugh at you. Or not, your choice.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by RAZGRIZ-2

Women don't need to come first. In fact some of us like a guy better who has goals in mind, and isn't just a skirt-chaster.

I agree with that. A lot of women are far more interested in a guy who has a LIFE than one whose life is centered around the woman. Wouldn't it freak you out if someone's life was centered around you? Yeah. Creepy.


And, as for my documentary... it shall be done. Every girl I've hooked up with in the past few months, I will do all in my power to take a picture of them kissing me. However, I don't think I can agree to leaving GFF forever if you're not satisfied. I love being hated way too much. While I'm not so worried about people thinking the girls are fat, I am a little worried about the "ugly" part, because I've had ugly girls look at hot chicks and go "she's so ugly" ... and I've had hot chicks look at girls i thought were ugly and say "she's cute." Plus, how can you even tell what a girl looks like when her face is mashed up against mine? Oh well. Look for the first one in my chocojournal sometime in the next... oh... twenty MINUTES.

I was speaking idiomatically.