GFF Risk 9: It's About Time

Wow, I came here ready to apologize for neglecting the thread all day and holding up the game (I didn't realize I was turn #2). Then it turns out Rock still hasn't taken his first turn. What the hell, Rock? Stop watching 24 reruns and annex someone already.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

5 Dice Rolls Chance to Win the Game

All goes according to plan. My forces shall annex Oregon, Florida, and Massachusetts.

Then I'll move in for the kill on Rhode Island, Nevada, Colorado, and Washington. Spreading the love around.

How ya doing, buddy?

Option 2 works for me. It'll help prolong the game, rather than playing straight into whatever crazy scheme Zerg has cooked up.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

4 Dice Rolls Alaska

Alright, it's time to annex Indiana and Virginia. Then I'll attack Maryland and California. Attacking Washington now. Wow, it actually worked! Alright, finishing things off with Alaska.

Screw it, moving my tanks into Alaska. This cold tundra belongs to me!

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

As much as I hate to point this out, I don't think you can take Wyoming with that since it isn't connected to Nevada. You'll have to take Oregon.

I was speaking idiomatically.

14 Dice Rolls Mississippi

It appears it's time to spring the pincer attack. Team Devin owns the west, so now I shall claim the east starting by reclaiming my capitol in Rhode Island.

Let's start things off by dropping a nuke on Connecticut. Sorry about breaking the freshly formed alliance Plarom, but if I don't grab your booty Nutty will. Mwahaha, that takes care of Rhode Island, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Maine.

Let's continue the bloodbath by using one Energy Boost and attacking Georgia, North Carolina, and Tennessee.

Okay, fine. Apparently if I want to slaughter the South I'll have to do it the old fashioned way. Using my winnings from Plarom to drop a second nuke on Tennessee. There we go, that takes care of North Carolina and Georgia. Now I'll use the Tank I took from Plarom to conquer Hawaii and claim Zerg's stuff for myself.

I'll cool off on the nukes a bit and make a regular attack against South Carolina now. And another normal attack against Kentucky. I'll use another Energy Boost and do a normal attack against Indiana. Let's try Indiana again. Much better, and that nets me Dull's stuff.

I believe I have 2 attacks 1 attack remaining at this point, but first I'll live out my life-long fantasy and nuke Maryland. That takes care of Pennsylvania. Now I'll roll a tank into Ohio to claim Nutty's swag as my own and lay Team MD to rest. Another tank will roll into West Virginia to claim their inbred mutant armies for my own.

Continuing the nuclear chain, I'll use the money earned from Nutty to drop another nuke on Michigan. That takes care of Wisconsin and Illinois. Poor Chicago, getting nuked twice in one day. I've got one last tank, so I'll use that to finish off Hawkeye by capturing Montana.

And then there were three. I'd like to see this super power battle play out, plus I'm rapidly losing track of what I actually have now, so I'll finish off with an Energy Boost and use the three attacks to target Minnesota, North Dakota, and Mississippi. This is what happens when you anger me on day one.

Oh, and Rock has agreed to a trade. I'm giving him Washington, Oregon, and Alaska for New York, Vermont, and New Jersey Team Devin pincer attack gooooo!

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Additionally, I'm giving him Hawaii for Washington DC. I know it's not a real state, but slaves are slaves.

FELIPE NO

Yet another trade has been decided upon. I'm giving Rock Montana in exchange for Alabama. I think this is the last one.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

In the meantime, let's all enjoy the United States proudly sporting the German flag.

Spoiler:

Maybe start us with a bit less gil and fewer attacks with prices on nukes raised to 40-50?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Now you're just being a hater.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

But no, you had to be Mr. I'd-Rather-Avoid-Alliances.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Yeah, I think those modifications sound like they would work. I did feel a little bad about wiping out everyone like that. After killing Zerg I debated for awhile if I really wanted to go with the nuke chaining, but if I hadn't then anyone else could have.

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I don't deserve any asterisk since I only received two out of the three states. Pretty sure I didn't need them in the final plan anyway. ='D

I was speaking idiomatically.

13 Dice Rolls Washington

Alright, with only two turns left there's no reason for me to hold back. I'll start off by using all three of my Energy Boosts to give me a total of 10 attacks.

Now to let the bombs fly. The first nuke is dropped on South Dakota. Alright, that gets Nebraska.

Dropping a second nuke on Louisiana. That takes Mississippi and Arkansas.

The third and final nuke goes to Texas. And that nets me Oklahoma in the fallout. Man, the nukes sucked today.

Now I'm going to use normal attacks on Iowa, New Mexico, Montana, and Idaho. Idaho again. Idaho a third time. There, fourth time on Idaho was the charm. Those potato farmers are stronger than they look, but KrelEN's enclave has finally fallen. With three attacks left it's time to start evening out the borders.

I'm attacking Missouri and Kansas. Finally, I'll reclaim Washington. Or not.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

This game was so short that we should just start sign-ups right away. Most people barely had any turns.

How ya doing, buddy?

That's something you'll see every time.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Doesn't get any delicious Rhode Island clam chowder: Zergrinch *

* And he can't even begrudge me over it

Jam it back in, in the dark.