Gaps. Holes.

My mother died of breast cancer when I was 7 or 8 years old, and I'm apparently missing the last two months of her life from my memory. The way I remember things she was just very tired from the chemotherapy and spent most of her time asleep in the living room. Then one morning she died in her sleep, and that day I remember quite vividly.

While talking to my father about a month ago though, he mentioned offhand how she was in a coma for two months before she died, and the only time she was lucid during that period was one morning while I was at school a few days before her death. I can't remember those two months at all; my memory jumps from 2 months prior straight to the day she died.

I don't dwell on it much, but it's very disconcerting to realize such a large chunk of time is missing.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Philia

I second the poster said that its not worth opening a pandora's box for mere curiousity. Be careful what you ask for...

I wonder about that sometimes though. Obviously there was a reason why my mind blocked off memories in the first place, but at the same time it can be very frustrating to know that they're gone. What if those memories were only too painful at the time when they were blocked, and it could make me a better person by facing it now? At the same time, unlocking those memories could be extremely painful with nothing at all to gain, like SenorKaffee said. I'm not just referring to the memory blank that I already posted about either, more in general.

I suppose it all comes down to whether or not you can trust your unconscious mind's decision and live with the curiousity. Unless I suspected it was something that I willingly repressed or should be grateful for the absence of, I'd lean more towards recovering the memories.

There's nowhere I can't reach.