Awkward things strangers have said to you

Today I was sitting at a bus stop when some weird white lady hobbled over and sits next to me.

Lady: You have beautiful hair!
Me: err thanks
Lady: Are you malaysian?
Me: ...no
Lady: What are you then?
Me: Im puerto rican and hatian
Lady: Oh....
Lady: .....
Lady: ..... you spanish people are everywhere now
Me: uh yeah
Lady: Your kind are fertile
Me: :eyebrow:
Lady: Do you have any kids yet? I bet you do.
Me: err no ;(
Lady: Theres lots of black people down in the south.... so much crime down there
Me: .... ;(
Lady: The spaniards are what you people come from right?
Me: *ignore* *ignore*
Lady: No wonder you people are everywhere...the spainiards have adventure blood.
Lady:....
Lady: ...do you have change for a dollar
Me:


Bonus for best pick up line Ive ever heard, while walking my dog
Drunk guy stumbles out of a bar and says to me:
Id fuck both you bitches. :doggy:

Jam it back in, in the dark.

God the Big E is the most depressing place on earth.

COME SEE WORLDS TINIEST HORSE
COME RIDE THE SAD ELEPHANT
LOOK...SHEEP!

How ya doing, buddy?

haha I just remembered another awsome one

I was talking on my cell phone walking my dog when it went dead so I sat down for a bit.

This guy with only one hand and an army hat comes wobbling over to me and has that "I want to pet your dog" look
Guy: Hey there little guy! Hope your mommy doesn't mind me petting you! Awww you like me! I hope you're this nice to your mommy at home! ...say what kind of a dog is this?
Me: Well he's a daschund but I don't think he's a pure bred.
Guy: *takes my dogs face in his hands* I guess not even little doggies can be pure of race.
He then looks up, gives me the weirdest look and walks away.

what the christ people, honestly ;(

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Krelian

The dog or the phone?

R I P
SQUALL



2005-2006

Spoiler:

Daschund Creation

On the first day, God created the daschund and He saw that he was good.

On the second day, God created man, and well, God was not impressed.

On the third day, God and the daschund met to decide what to do with the man and they determined he should be the daschunds servant.

On the fourth day, God and the daschund trained the man to get food, get water and to make a fuss over the daschund.

On the fifth day, the daschund said to God, "Hey, Big Guy, this is kind of fun to be waited on hand and foot, but what's next?" So God created woman. That same day, God and the daschund began the woman's training. She was trained to tell the man exactly when to get the water and when exactly to get food so that God and the daschund would not have to be bothered.

On the sixth day, the woman found some apples and told the man to take them to the daschund. The daschund, on seeing the apples said, "Hey! Those are God's apples off His tree, we are not supposed to eat them!" The man said, "OK, I will eat them myself!" And he did and he shared them with the woman. Well, God got pretty ticked and He threw the man and woman out of the area. And God was left alone with the daschund.

On the seventh day, God thought about taking a rest, but the daschund was hungry and thirsty and God had to get up early to take care of the daschund because the man and the woman were gone.

Once God got used to getting up really early to tend to daschunds needs, things settled into a sort of routine. God would get up, dig the daschund out of its warm burrow in the clouds and take the daschund to an area to take care of business. This is where hail comes from.

Later, God would find the daschund food and feed it from His own hand and give the daschund over to the angels with which to play. The daschund would race back and forth over the clouds with the angels in tow, racing here and there and tearing up the sky. This is where tornadoes come from; from daschunds running back and forth over the tops of the clouds.

In the evening, after the daschund was really tired after playing with the angels, God would take it back into His bed, burrowed in the clouds. But the daschund always wanted a night light on. This is where sunsets come from; the daschund night light.

And God has been looking after little daschunds ever since.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?