Sex: Take It Or Leave It

Well, it was my post that inspired this thread, and I'm quite happy to admit that Denicallis could have a a point. The fact is that until I did get laid, I presumed that sex was going to be great, and that it would go on to be a major preoccupation of my life. Instead it just didn't do anything for me. Since then I've pretty much given up on seeking a relationship, but I don't regret that decision in the slightest. There are multiple reasons why I'm not seeking a relationship, but my lack of interest in sex is one of them.

I should also point out that I do enjoy physical intimacy, but not the act itself. It's not that I lack a libedo entirely, it's just that sex really doesn't appeal to me, physically. I don't enjoy it.

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Regardless of the cause, how many of you could knowingly enter into a serious, long-term relationship with someone like that?

In my case, it's so seriously not even an issue. There are so many reasons I'm not looking to date anyone right now that sex is the least of them. My lack of desire comes as a blessed relief, considering.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Wow. That's exactly how this guy was that I dated. He was extremely touchy-feely-kissy, but when it came to sex, it wasn't that he hated it. He just didn't really want it.

Yeah, that sounds familiar alright. I'm sure it wasn't me, though, on account of being on another continent at the time.

Quote:

I wouldn't give up on having a relationship entirely, Soluzar.

Ahh, but it's a learned skill, you know? It doesn't come naturally, being in a relationship. There are all sorts of hidden rules and things that you only learn by doing, and I've somehow got to a certain age without really playing the dating game much. Not to mention the fact that I'm a head-case. You read Lehah's emo/depression thread, so you know that I'm not playing with a full deck, emotionally speaking. Or something. :ashamed:

I'm 30 years old, and I've never had a relationship that I would describe as in any way healthy. I've dated for a total of less than 2 years in my life, and a year of that was with someone I met over the internet, and only saw once in real life. Overall, I find the whole business too confusing and bothersome to be worth the effort. I don't let it bother me.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Let me rephrase my question. Maybe then I'll get an answer that isn't quite so convoluted. Do you agree that not having a desire for sex would be viewed by most people as a "disorder"?

That question is based on a reductive definition of "sex" but yes. When I use the term I too use the same reductive definiton, but it's not accurate. Some of the things that I do desire are definitely sexual. They simply are not copulation.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Duo Maxwell

For those who lack a sincere desire for sex, but may find themselves in a relationship where their partner wishes for intercourse-- there's ways of creating that desire. Namely, marijuana. I know you're thinking "But I'm not a drug addict," doing marijuana once or twice in your lifetime does not make you an addict. I will say that like alcohol it does foster the desire greatly, but it doesn't come with degradation in performance like alcohol, if anything it intensifies the stimulation. It also doesn't take much.

You have got to be joking. Tell me you're joking? When I have had sex in the past, it takes me a relatively long time to, well, to finish anyway. Smoking a bowl beforehand would probably lengthen that timespan to well over an hour. It's totally desensitising in that respect for me.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Gumby

An hour is a long time to go? Well I should defiantly not do weed before sex... I think my fiancé would kill me. I thought weed just made you lazy?!?

Welll whatever then. Like I know shit about good sex.

I just know that it's a desensitising factor, and it would certainly not make it better, as was being claimed.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by a lurker

Even still, with all the ernest that is possible over the internet, I hope you like chastity, and if some day you get sick of it, I hope your soulmate here would be willing to accept either change or cuckoldship. You do not deserve a sexless relationship, and she does not deserve the years of resentment that can build up in such a relationship.

I have to say, I think you're quite right about this. I'd be in her position, of course, but I don't delude myself that it's anything but unfair on the other person in the relationship, which is one reason I no longer seek relationships.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Tama8-chan

I've heard this term used a lot:
"You just haven't had GOOD sex yet".

So true, lol.

I have to say, I can't imagine that some theoretical "good sex" would make any difference to my views. As a general guideline, I don't like any activity that ends by making me hot and sticky, and sex tends to have that effect.

Put simply, I can't abide having a trace of grease or other sticky goop on me even for a second. Even the thought of it makes my skin crawl. That's part of my aversion to The Act.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by BurningRanger

If he's as good a guy as he wants us to believe, he doesn't deserve to be led around by someone who is full of shit.

Not that I'm saying I don't believe him, exactly, but when did you ever meet anyone who's as good a guy as he wants us to believe?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by SMX

My man, good sex makes you not care about being hot and sticky.

It would have to be bloody good! Not liking to be sweaty, sticky, or whatever is close to a phobia for me.

Jam it back in, in the dark.