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How's the subway system? It's massive, yes, but it's not as bad as its reputation (crime, smell, etc), is it?
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I used it constantly on my two trips to NYC. For the most part, it's pretty decent. I didn't see that much evidence of crime, but I will admit that a few elevators did stink of piss so much that it was impossible to use them.
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What areas of NYC should I completely avoid?
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There's nowhere on Manhattan island that you should avoid. Speaking as a white man who walked through Harlem I can safely say that it doesn't entirely deserve the reputation it has acquired.
I wouldn't like to say regarding the other boroughs, because like a typical tourist I stayed in Manhattan.
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Unique (but affordable) dining would be great to find. I always love finding new places to eat when I travel.
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Manhattan is filled with places to eat. You can't walk an entire city block in midtown without encountering at least two different places to eat. I don't know about 'unique', but I suggest you check out some of the little Chinese places that are tucked away. There seem to be quite a few of them, so you won't have any trouble finding one.
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Mostly what I do when I visit a new city is check out all the shopping areas. That sounds weird from a straight guy, I know, and I'm not looking for the latest fashions or anything, I just dig finding new stores (video games especially) or getting lost in an enormous mall.
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The best video games store I found was J & R Computer, which is located not far from the former site of the World Trade Center. I didn't venture that far off the beaten track, but J & R computer had a quite extensive range of product. Certainly there's nothing like that back home where I live.
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Something like a flea market/open air market would be awesome as well. But of course, that's not what NYC is all about.
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When I have visited, there was always an open air market on each Sunday. It was pretty cool, there were interesting things to eat at least. Most of the stalls are selling cheap tourist crap, but the odd one or two were selling things that made me deeply regret the limits on how much weight I could carry in my luggage. Such as the stall that sold sculptures of various sci-fi characters made out of reclaimed motorcycle parts.
Jam it back in, in the dark.