Dating...

It took me until I was 30 to find someone who I thought was worth being in a relationship with. Well, actually it took me until I was 30 to find someone who was still worth being in a relationship with after six months. Not to mention someone who still thought that I was worth being in a relationship with after six months.

All through my life until that point I had just not found anyone whose personality was a good match for mine. I wasn't always the one to end the relationships, but I doubt that I could have ever been happy with any of my old flames, even if they had not split up with me first. There was always something that just didn't fit. Something that would have stopped me from being happy with that person, long term. You can lie to yourself for only so long. Sooner or later my dissatisfaction and lack of commitment would become apparent, and that's the begining of the end.

I wanted a long term relationship so badly. So much so that I tried to rescue these doomed relationships even when I wasn't happy. So much so that I stayed with someone I couldn't stand anymore for a year, even though it became apparent after three or four months that it just wasn't right.

Maybe I'm picky, maybe I ask too much. The things I ask for from a woman are mainly things about her personality, and her interests. It's important that she share at least some of my most important interests, as well as having some of her own. It's important that we share the same views on at least some of the big issues. It's important that she doesn't find wealth important beyond that required to live. It's important that she be intelligent and articulate.

Maybe I am asking too much. So far, I found it once. It took 30 years. The results have so far been good enough that I'm inclined to say that I'm asking just exactly enough, though. I don't see any reason to assume that this relationship won't work out, and it was worth waiting for.

I hope that this is relevant to you in some way. If I were you I'd hold to your ideals. You probably will find the person you're looking for... if you wait long enough, and keep an open mind as to where you might find them.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Duo Maxwell

Yeah, you know, maybe you're right. At the sametime, though, I hate to have this feeling that I'm sort of sitting around waiting for something to come along.

I've found that the "Well, there's always tomorrow" or "maybe it'll just get better soon" attitude doesn't work too well.

You're right, it doesn't. I was miserable as hell during my long stints of being single, and I was often feeling pretty crappy while I was actually dating, because of the feeling of dating the wrong person. The fact remains though, that I wouldn't have been able to be happy in a relationship with anyone who didn't match up to the picture in my head. I'm assuming based on your first post that you're the same way. Someone who isn't on your mental frequency will just make you crazy.

It was never about physical attractiveness for me, I hasten to add. I've got certain tastes in that regard, just like any other man, but I don't insist on the pinnacle of physical beauty by any means. As long as a girl has dark hair, and isn't too tall, I'm comfortable with that.

I just wanted someone I could talk to, and share the things that are important to me with. I spend a lot of my leisure time on my interests, so its important to me that my partner be able to relate to that, and communicate with me about that.

I could be reading into your post too much, but it seems like we're not too different when it comes to what we're looking for, so I figure there's no point in you trying to settle for someone who isn't right... it just won't work. It's not any kind of consolation, or help to you, but it's the way I see things.

There's nowhere I can't reach.