Have you ever broken up with someone you loved?

Originally Posted by Hydra

I did a couple of months ago. We'd been engaged about a year.

What happened was this: we started dating when I really just wanted a good friend. Since he was persistent and met all the little requirements I had at the time, I couldn't come up with a good reason *not* to date him, and so we began. Turns out his intentions were considerably more serious: he wanted a wife. Fast forward two years: we're graduating, starting to plan a wedding, and I woke up one morning with the terrible realization that if I don't love him after two years of wanting to, it's not going to happen just because we got married. In fact, marriage is probably going to make things worse because I'm already feeling trapped and we haven't even made the vows yet. That was wretched. I had to move (I'd been renting, coincidentally, from his Mum) and change all sorts of trivial life things in the middle of the academic quarter, and he basically melted into a puddle of emotion that hasn't progressed much in the three months since.

But yeah... I just could not face the idea of marrying someone I'm not in love with if there is no good reason for it. It seemed like an incredibly stupid thing to do. (Now I realize that this breaking-up should have happened long before, probably before we got engaged. At the time, however, I still thought I could change to be what he needed/wanted. It didn't work.)

In case you hadn't noticed, the title of the thread is "broken up with someone you loved, clearly something you stated you did not do.

How ya doing, buddy?