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Nice work sprout. The only thing I did was give blood.

So I was a freshman in college back in 2002, spring semester, and I had just thrown a little shindig at my family's condo down at the beach. Good times, plenty of liquor, etc. You know how that goes. Anyway, there was a fair bit left over so I brought it back to the dorms and stored it away for another time.

I got together with a couple buddies a couple weekends later and we were just gonna hang out and (hopefully) finish off what was left. Before we get into that, I suggested that we make Hunch Punch with the remainder, since the alcoholic ingredients for Hunch Punch were mostly present.

If you don't know, Hunch Punch, at least as I know it, is made up of clear alcohol like vodka and rum, fruit juice, and a lot of fruit. You get two things out of it -- girly, fruity alcoholic beverages and fruit that's been soaked in alcohol. So we did ourselves up a batch, let it chill for a while and ate and drank to our liver's content, and then some.

Mardi Gras was nearing and Chuck, Brittney and I decided we should throw a big effin' Hunch Punch party before the main parade. Now, the freshman dorms at my school are set up in three buildings (there are more, but these three are almost exclusively freshman dorms), Delta 6, Epsilon 1 & 2. The three of us walked around and asked all the students if they wanted to donate some cash for this party so we could make it all happen. Between the three residence halls, we scrounged up a good $400.

So then we had to call "the guy." That guy who's 19, but for some reason can easily get into any liquor store and buy any amount of alcohol completely uninhibited and no one would suspect him and did just that -- bought an obscene amount of vodka and rum (obscene for us anyway. I'm sure Ence's seen more in a day) and didn't have to pull an ID out. The majority of our cash dried up there, but we still had enough. We went to the grocery store next and stocked up on well-mixing fruit juices -- apple juice, grape juice, cranberry, white grape, orange, etc. Bought some fruit as well -- oranges, apples, pears, peaches, grapes and bananas.

We get back to Brittney's dorm room and clean out her bathtub, filling it with ice and three mid-size coolers. We split up the alcohol and fruit juice equally among the coolers and let it sit for a while, getting real nice and mixed together. After that, we kept one of the coolers halfway full and set some fruit slices in there to soak up some of that mixture. Banana segments, grapes, apple slices, stc.

After everything sat for a brief period, we gathered all the fruit and put it in bowls, and all the alcohol poured into cups. We made a small chart of what everyone had donated and what that would get them on their first serving -- seconds were completely open. So we had a line of people going from Brittney's second-floor dorm room, downstairs and outside. Students were leaving her room with fruit bowls and red plastic cups in their hands, eagerly awaiting this new concoction most of them hadn't even heard of, the poor kids.

We got most of it out of her room, and after a couple of hours there were a lot of hungover students hanging out around the residence halls. The cops came by once to see what the deal was, but didn't bother to investigate the fruit bowls or cups, since all they could really smell was fruit juice. It was great, no one went to Mardi Gras that year.

Jam it back in, in the dark.