Being too much of a friend to girls

Originally Posted by nanaman

but I just can't go further unless the girl makes the move. I'm too afraid of them turning me down looking like an idiot.

That's it right there, mate.

Being scared is no excuse. Everyone who's ever asked someone out has had to face the fear of being rejected. The successful ones had the guts to at least give it a try.

Sitting around waiting for things to happen to you is a surefire recipe of getting absolutely nowhere. If you want something, throw out your passiveness, and, y'know, go out and get it, mmkay?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by RainMan

But yea, I have a trouble with being a bit too nice. I feel women see that as a sign of weakness but not all of them do.

I'm not sure it's so much "being too nice" as it is "not being able to stand up for yourself". I'm not saying that you're like that, but a lot of the time, when someone is considered/describes himself as "too nice", what he really means is "spineless."

I'm sure women (or men, for that matter), would have no problems being in a relationship with a genuinely nice, but assertive and self-confident person.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by nanaman

But seriously, I can't act like an ass, because I aint one. I feel like I just can't make a jerk out of myself just to get girls. But I guess somehow that it is partly one of the reasons I won't get anyone. Because I seem "spineless".

You're kind of missing the point, good sir. You don't have to be an ass or a jerk to be self-confident and assertive.

Put yourself in the shoes of the girl for a bit. Would you want to be with someone who had the confidence and strength to take care of himself (and the people around him), or would you want to be with someone who sits around passively waiting for things to happen to him and for people to pay attention to him? Note that this has nothing to do with being a jerk.

I'm really talking about the difference between a confident person and a wet noodle. Confidence isn't easy to build up, but it's perfectly possible to attain it without resorting to arrogance.

(Honestly, I'd like to find the person who came up with this "nice guy/jerk" dichotomy and dunk his head in a bucket of water. It's not a one or the other choice, you know.)

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.