Negative feelings towards love...advice appreciated.

Originally Posted by Aequitas

Helllo all. I'm somewhat new here (first post) and just wanted to get some help and or advice from anyone. Sorry that this is a bit long.

For the past week I have been feeling reall miserable, I've started developing a huge crush on my best female friend, problem is she is going out with someone...my best male friend. And since they've pretty much my two closest friends I'm around them a hell of a lot, which makes ignoring these feelings soo much harder for me. Two weeks ago she told me of dificulties they were having and came to me for advice, and I gave all teh advice/help I could to make sure they would stay together and that she was happy, and although that was kinda a big conflict of interest on my part, I did the right thing and I'm fine with that.
Now I'm developing negative feelings towards love again though. I haven't really had any postive experiences in regards to love (my first girlfriend drugged and raped me, first crush after that is the girl I have a crush on now, and that crush did not end well for me; second girlfriend was too worried about everything and left me shortly after we started going out and pretty much the whole time we went out she made me feel like shit; third crush ended really badly because she led me on so much, only to pretty much say 'f u I don't like you creepo' and that left me quite heartbroken, and finally, there's this crush where I can't even tell her how I feel for her, which reallly really suckorz.)
I mean, I know I'm only 17 and that I have a long while to find love, but the problem is I've just had soo many bad experiences with relationships that I've gotten into the mindset that I will never find love and actually be happy. I'm aware that these feelings are because I'm partially jaded, but I don't know what to do.
And as for meeting new girls in college, I agree that there are going to be a lot of new people whereever I go to college;l but I really do suck at making new friends, to the point where I have just a few friends.

Please stop acting like a wussy.Stop looking to find women that have relationships with your friends.Love?Hah?Did you have any experiances with her to talk about love?

Love is something deeper than a hard errected pennis in the morning that someone pulls and pushes up and down for the woman he feels attraction to.You are just overly attracted to her.Love her?No if you look a bit closer you will see that behind the world love is the lack of meaning in your life,and the desire to be accepted by others.You need to find new things to do and feel so full that you will not need others to express your need for love.

As for that case do not give advice to couples.Its not worth it.leave them to sort it out themselves -unless they are GOOD friends of yours,but i do no think they are friends of yours,as i would never ever allow my self to feel attraction for the girl of a friend of mine.-

I know i am being hard and crude with you but believe me it will be better if someone strikes you with a punch and you wake from the wussy fantasy love world you are into and you wake in to the normal world and understand some simple things.

You can do anything you want.Just stop looking in the wrong places.Flirt and find women who do not have boyfriends (and even if they have ,those boyfriends should not be your best male friends).

Regards

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by doodle

What the FUCK are you even talking about?

Anyway, Justice-man, the line "you're so young, shut up and get back on the horse" is so shitty and tired it's not even worth posting. I can say that you (and everybody else) would do well to stop making such a monumental deal about love.

EVERYBODY thinks it's some big, stupid, wishy-washy mystery, but it's not. Love is just good feelings. If someone consistently makes you feel good inside, then you (can) love them. You can't very well be jaded against good feelings, can you? It's as simple as that.

As far as meeting new people goes, just do your thing. According to my expansive wisdom and vast experience, people who go out of their way to try and find TROO LURVE hardly ever get what they're looking for. You won't feel like you're being very productive, but it's really the most efficient way to go about it. Look at it this way - if you go out of your way to attract a mate, then you're not being yourself, right? And a relationship founded on a false image isn't a sound relationship.

So, despite my best efforts, I will still end with a tired cliche:
Be yourself.

Spoiler:

"I go to the wise man for help, and the wise man sayeth, help thyself."
-Old Klingon Proverb

The kid was out of control that's why i was so hard in my answer to him.He speaked of being in love with someone else's girlfriend and that someone else was his best friend.Could that be love?no!to me love can only be something thats mutual for both.If only one is having feelings it is not good for his life.

That's the reason i told him about a hard errected pennis in the morning.He is not feeling love for her.It is just passion driven from the fact that his only 17 and does not know about feelings nor does he have any experiance with life.Side effectes?He wakes up in the morning,pennis errected he is passionate and obsessed about having her (not realizing that it is not right since it is his best friend's girlfriend!),and thinks that he loves her.That is no love.

No sorry but it would be better to say some bad nasty and mean words (from people who are outside this story and are just offering some help),than to say "cheer up honey".He has to realize the wrong of his thoughts and try to grow up and learn to avoid such mistakes.

You are correct about telling him to be himself.If he is emotional i am sure he will find many other girls that will appreciate his character.It is just the fact that he has to move on.

There's nowhere I can't reach.