I don't know what to do here. Parent problems.

I was kind of wary about posting this here, but I feel like I need to talk to someone about it and not many people read my Livejournal. I apologize if a similar thread has been done before, but I did skim back a few pages and didn't see anything that could help me.

Now for some back story. I'm 19 years old. I was 4 when my parents married. Both of them had been married before, to different people. My mother was in an abusive relationship, and my father was just with a whore, for a lack of a better term. They seemed happy to find each other and lived happily ever after. At least until I was about 12.

In 1999 (when I was 12) we got a computer. I remember asking for one a lot the years prior. We've constantly had one since then. A little over a year ago, my mother accidentally signed on to my father's screenname (we used AOL) and noticed he had quite a few emails. I'm not sure why, but she looked to see what they were. (Which I -know- is wrong, but it's good that she did that.) There were some advertising porn sites, but I told her that they might have been spam, which wouldn't have really been his fault. She also looked at his site history and found many, many porn sites. Those obviously weren't spam. I was upset, but I figured porn wasn't THAT bad. I mean, it's better than cheating.

Which brings me to a few days ago. I went online to check my schedule for work, and I had to use Internet Explorer (for some reason the site wouldn't work on Firefox), and typed the first letter of the url in the address bar. A very large amount of pornography sites came up. I showed my mother and she went through some of them that seemed somewhat okay (just regular porn), but then came across many gay men sites and sites like myspace, but only for sex.

We (her and I) came to the conclusion that he was looking for someone else. (Maybe a man, who knows.) She thinks he's been doing this since 1999 and is possibly seeing someone when he works 'overtime' at work. (she has no proof of the latter though.) On the way home from work today she told me they talked last night and she gave back her wedding ring and everything. (He denied everything, but she told me they talked before and he promised he'd never do it again.)

Anyway, I'm really scared. I have a job but my mother doesn't. If they get divorced, I've decided I'm going with her, but what will we do? This is all hitting me very hard and I just need someone to talk to. Aside from small things my life has been pretty okay, and this is the first 'crisis' I've been in. I'm confused.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Celes Chere

sites like myspace, but only for sex.

THAT is what got my mother upset. Not the general porn. I realize my initial post wasn't necessarily clear, but I didn't expect every.single.person to literally jump down my mother's and I's throats. She told me today that he was unfaithful at the beginning of their relationship (way before the computer) but she was trusting then and forgave him for what he was doing.

I was pretty upset when I wrote the first post in this thread. I realize, that if I need help and would like to talk to someone, that I need to be extremely clear. I apologize for not being that way.

I am closing this thread, only because the responses I received didn't help me at all, and I'd rather not have more like them. I'm sorry.

EDIT: After glancing at the responses again, I needed to reopen the thread to say one more thing. She did talk to him. She did so the other night and she's doing it now. I really didn't think anybody would assume she would just give back the wedding ring WITHOUT even talking to him first. I doubt anybody would actually do such a thing.

I don't think it matters too much what I say now anyway. You've all come to your own conclusions on this.

How ya doing, buddy?