[DnD] Tomb of Horrors (GFF D&D Adventure X)

Garold finally reaches the tunnel opening, but he can't see much of anything besides Beefi's backside. After some panicked yelling, half the party comes running straight at him so he decides to back off and give them some room.

Move 1 square southwest

Most amazing jew boots

Now everybody seemed to be going back down the tunnel toward whatever they had been sprinting away from. I decided not to think about it too much and instead just follow along and prepare for the worst.

Move through tunnel to chest room, take up position at (-4, BK)

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

1 Die Roll spear o' insects

Garold watched in amazement as the Halfling unleashed a salvo of projectiles on the skeletal monstrosity. Apparently something quite horrible had happened in here the last time.

He had not known Sam for very long, but anything that could rattle the normally cool and collected halfling must be bad news indeed and deserved the worst in return. Garold had just the species for the occasion.

Biting Swarm critical hit! 14 damage
Skeleton takes -2 attack roll penalty until start of my next turn

Garold's hurled spear impacts right between the eye sockets and explodes into a swarm of angry Death's Vengeance wasps. He presumed their rather painful venom wouldn't have much effect on a creature without nerves, but their habit of boring into skeletal remains to make their nests would probably do some harm. At the very least he imagined it would be difficult for one to focus with a nest of wasps buzzing around inside one's skull.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

13 Dice Rolls -2BQ Mummy

The big skeleton oddly seemed to be enjoying the wasps buzzing around in his noggin. But, their spectral lifespans were up. The seeker giveth and the seeker taketh away.

The halfling had finally found a proper undead horde, but they seemed out of place here. Perhaps the master of this tomb was in the business of importing undead horrors. He made a mental note to fine him for illegal trafficking before they killed him, or re-killed him. Semantics.

Garold raised his spear and prepared to carry on with business as usual, but paused when the big skeleton did an amazingly good impression of a smirk for someone without any lips. He heard a brief whispered exchange among the undead, and then the mummies' dry gnarled faces all gave him a condescending look.

How dare these dusty bone piles look down on him! He trembled with rage for a moment, then looked up at them and yelled

"Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn Batman!"

With a raise of his hands, a swarm of bats erupted from the air over the golden chest, and proceeded to envelop all those that thought little of him.

Standard Action - Swarming Bats
Area Burst 2 centered on (-3, BO)

Hit mummies at: -2BQ, -3BQ, -4BQ, -5BQ, -3BP, -5BP, -4BN, -4BM

Zone of bats is difficult terrain for enemies and while inside it enemies grant combat advantage.

The bats tear at the mummies' wrappings, and eight immediately collapse into piles of dust, bones, and cloth. The remaining enemies are quite distracted by the flurry of black wings surrounding them, and Garold uses the opportunity to get a little distance between him and the undead.

Move Action - move to (2, BK)

I was speaking idiomatically.

5 Dice Rolls *sneak attack damage

Garold smiled a sinister smile as the large skeleton was repeatedly knocked to the ground and bounced around like a child's kickball. The bats seemed to distressing the big bag of bones as well. But Garold was not done ruining skeletor's day just yet. If there is one thing worse than a swarming colony of angry bats, it was a swarming colony of angry bats propelled at you with hurricane gale force.

Minor Action - sustain swarming bats.
Standard Action - Windstorm Strike. Area Burst 1 centered on BO-2

All hit! Mummies at BO-1 and BO-2 both die.

8 + 4 sneak attack damage from Sam = 12 damage to Skeleton, and it is pushed 4 squares to SW corner of room.

At this point Garold begins laughing maniacally as he takes in the chaos he has unleashed and the misery he has inflicted on the skeleton. He was supposed to be serious about his duties as a sage of Melora's wrath, but damn this was hilarious to watch.

Most amazing jew boots

3 Dice Rolls damage part 2

Larger animals seemed to be getting better results, and breaking the skeleton's bones seemed to be the most effective way to bring him down. Before that though, Garold didn't want to be anywhere near the mechanism that had popped out of the silver chest. He had seen demonstrations of these new technological marvels the gnomes were so proud of, and nomatter their intended function they most often seemed to light on fire or explode. Sometimes both in that order.

Move to BM-4
Minor sustain Bat Zone
Standard - Stampede shot

Garold hurls his spear at the Skeleton once again, and spectral Bison appear and follow it to the target. Time to see how much destruction a few tons of bovine can manage.

Skeleton takes 14 damage and is pushed into mummy and trap. If mummy is still alive it gets pushed another 2 squares, also into the trap I guess

FELIPE NO

3 Dice Rolls crunchy

Garold was glad his first impression of the trap chest had been correct. The creator of this particular mechanical menace must have observed the same tendencies as Garold and had the worst best idea ever of creating a machine designed to light on fire. Garold felt sorry for his engulfed friends, but at the same time was very glad he managed to escape the gadget's fiery wrath. No one likes the smell of burning dog hair, especially the dog.

The skeleton also seemed rather relieved to have escaped the fire blast. The bats, meanwhile, appeared to be somewhat irritated at their lack of enemies to harass. That was easily solved.

Garold shouted to the skeleton: "You can't stop here, this is bat country!" With a wave of a hand the colony swooped to the other end of the room and continued their campaign of annoyance against the skeleton. Garold wished he could slam the skeleton into another wall, as it was starting to sound more like a xylophone as its joints loosened, but instead had to settle for crushing force.

Minor sustain bat zone
Move bat zone 4 squares east and 1 square south
Standard action - Serpent Arrow
Hit! 8 damage to skeleton.

Garold's spear transforms into a giant spectral snake, which sets about constricting the skeleton. Sadly, the skeleton's lack of internal organs to crush seems to limit the damage done. Either that or the snake just isn't that interested in eating the fleshless pile of bones.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The cowman was starting to freak Garold out a bit. For a minute there before he conked himself on the head, he seemed like he was ready to bring some severe hurt Garold's way. Garold decided it might be best to give him some space while he and his mystical zoo rested up.

Move to north wall and take a break. Spend a healing surge.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Now that El Beefo seemed to be in a better mood, Garold decided to wander over and investigate the remains of the obnoxious skeleton, who was still mouthing off at Sam. Garold wasn't much of a swordsman, but for some reason he got a good vibe from one of the swords, so he picked it up and affixed it to his pack. While he was at it he snagged a nice cigar-sized fragment of rib to gnaw on. He always thought better when he had a bone to chew on. Plus it earned him furious glares from Murray, which was entertaining.

Grab luckblade scimitar.

He then ventured back out into the hall with Slim and Beefy and tried to remember what he was doing before all the commotion started. Oh right, the tunnel behind the gold sphere.

"Hey slim! Might be some more stuff to smash or light on fire in here." he said before standing under the tunnel ready to give the barbarian a boost should he want one.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

1 Die Roll investigating

After everyone else wanders on without any interest in the other crawl tunnel, Garold decides he should probably do the same. Curiosity killed the cat and all. Wait, he's part canine. Whatever. The cowman looked like he could use some help investigating the altar.

perception check on altar

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The genasi had apparently found something more suspicious about the altar than Garold had, and Slim seemed to be preparing his own examination. Considering the kobold's approach to problem solving usually involved shrapnel, Garold decided it might be a good time to duck and cover behind the nearest pew.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

These hidden passageways were getting more and more dramatic. Perhaps this place was designed by a couple of architects determined to one up each other.

Garold decided to scout ahead in the new passage, as he didn't particularly want to hang out near the altar any longer. He had a feeling that Slim wouldn't leave it alone until he got the desired explosive effect out of it.

I was speaking idiomatically.

2 Dice Rolls what's down there?

Between whoever trapped the rats in the pit and Slim, the desire to build a better mousetrap need no longer be a relevant issue. Garold wasn't too sure about the economic feasibility of such a device, but he had a feeling that anyone with Slim's mindset would be a sure sale.

No one seemed particularly interested in descending into the pit of rat filth, and Garold especially didn't want to risk it after seeing the effects of exposure on his comrades. He didn't want to just stand around though either. After giving the rat cloud a little time to dissipate, he backed up, yelled "Make a path!" and took a running leap at the rat pit.

Garold easily clears the pit, and remains calm enough to remember not to inhale while sailing through the air over it. After a solid landing on the other side he examines the second pit with the help of his sunrod.

perception check

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

3 Dice Rolls what's in this one?

As mesmerizing as the bubbling goo was, it was clearly not an exit. Garold backed up to the edge of the rat pit to get a running start for another leap over the slime.

Athletics check - running long jump

After safely leaping the sludge, Garold proceeded down the hall to see what the third pit held. The sudden large distance of seemingly normal hallway made him nervous though, so he reverted to his previous method of moving slowly and tapping his spear on the floor and walls. Just in case.

Perception check - trap checking hallway

If nothing suspicious discovered en route: Perception check - third pit

FELIPE NO

After dawdling at the rat pit for so long, the rest of the party suddenly rushes by Garold. Some with more success than others. After staying out of everyone's way, he too takes a running jump over the algae pit before rounding the corner to see what all the fuss is about.

The glowing letters of the sign indicated that there was probably a magic user on the other side. Well, in addition to indicating Garold wasn't invited, but that was nothing new.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Uhhhhhhhhh. Garold stared blankly. Drunk crossdressing orcs were so far beyond his area of expertise his mind shut down when tasked with calculating a plan of action. Then suddenly, salvation! What he needed to handle this situation must surely be readily available.

"Where's the keg?!" he asked before wandering into the darkness.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

1 Die Roll run like Scooby Doo

Garold blinked at the sudden harsh light, then focused on what was before him. This wasn't beer, this wasn't beer at all! Then the brain fog from the encounter with the orc cleared.

"Ruh roh."

He then flailed all four limbs at the tilting floor, desperately scrabbling for purchase.

Athletics check.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

1 Die Roll hot hot hot hot

As the searing heat brought his hair ever nearer to flash point and fire elementals closed in on him, Garold felt somewhat validated in his duty to warn humanoids of the dangers of nature. He looked over to see Beefi suffering the same plight.

"I WARNED YOU ABOUT NATURE BRO!!!! I TOLD YOU DOG!"

He decided he'd rather not be a martyr for his cause though, and made another attempt to flee the encroaching lava, this time with the aid of the halfling's rope.

Athletics check to move toward hallway

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

1 Die Roll heave ho

Garold was surprised to find that the rope clenched between his teeth was in fact real. When memories of playing "teething tug-of-war" as a young pup came flooding back to him he had simply assumed he was seeing his life flash before his eyes.

The steam rising off the rope was lessening now, and it was beginning to singe. He had to make advantage of it before it disintegrated completely.

Athletics Check to pull self along rope

How ya doing, buddy?

Garold patted out any remaining fires on his person, and took a break after he was sure he was no longer smoldering. Fortunately, entertainment was provided as the elemental once again got the short end of the stick (literally this time) due to one of his catatonic trances.

Spend healing surge.

After he felt a bit more lively, he decided to see what trouble Slim's destructive tendencies had gotten him and grape ape into this time.

Move to edge of pit and provide illumination with sunrod.

I was speaking idiomatically.

1 Die Roll seeker sense tingling?

Garold climbs down the chain offered by the minotaur and begins his usual cautious snooping routine. Whenever he finds himself in new surroundings priorities are given to determining a.) what might kill him and b.) which way to run in case of discovering something that might kill him.

perception check

How ya doing, buddy?

1 Die Roll snooping as usual

The swordmage was looking very worried after inspecting the hidden door, and the kobold had that smashy look in his eye again. Garold decided to follow the rest of the group's lead and get some distance from the potential magic disaster waiting to happen.

He figured he might as well do double duty and scout ahead. Maybe he could find something better to point Slim at.

Move down hallway in cautious mode. If nothing deadly found see what's around corner.
Perception Check

FELIPE NO

"Hey Slim, there's a shiny magic mace over here! Don't you wanna have a look at..."

Garold looked back up the hallway to see the Kobold running headlong at the door, and failed to complete the sentence. Instead, he opted to step around the corner to provide cover in case any hot magic death (or pieces of Slim) came flying in his direction.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

1 Die Roll chasing shadows

With Gra-Fa-Zut now no longer "assisted" by Slim, and Sam investigating the mace, Garold decided to forge on ahead down the hallway. Garold figured knowing what horrible things were lurking in the creepy dark hallway was probably less terrifying than what his mind would generate for him if he kept staring at the shadows for much longer.

Advance West down hallway, giving the mace and the door a wide berth.
Perception check

Jam it back in, in the dark.

2 Dice Rolls Murray u mad?

Well, a wall was certainly less scary than what Garold had been imagining. He wasn't particularly eager to enter the room full of dead things though. With the hidden door still guarded by six trap runes (if Murray could be trusted) Garold decided the least dangerous thing to do was to investigate the mace. He wasn't brave enough to pick it up, but at least since it could talk it could be interrogated.

Hello talking magic mace thing. How did you end up on the floor way down here?

Questioning the mace's lack of mobility made him realize a similarity.

Hey Murray, it's another talking inanimate object! You two can be best of pals! Well, unless that whole "bane of the undead" thing it mentioned is a problem for you.

Insight check on magic mace to see if it seems truthful.
Insight check on Murray to see if he hates the mace.

There's nowhere I can't reach.