Sex and relationships: a practical consideration

Unless they've been completely desensitized by late night cable TV and pornography and rap music, most people see sex as an intimate act of bonding. That being the case, it is best not to engage in it until you've both committed to each other. All the studies show that a relationship that is based just on sex will not last. So you have to have a fairly strong bond to begin with and view sex as the icing on the cake and not the cake itself. Furthermore, whether people want to admit it or not, sex has a powerful emotional effect on people so it is harmful if done too early. Humans are both physical and emotional so you cannot have purely physical sex without emotion. This is why I think porn is so destructive, but that's another topic.

It's true that once you have sex, your desire for your girlfriend will deflate some. You've had her, the mystery and allure of the unknown is gone. This is another reason why there must be a real commitment and strong emotional bond. There has to be something besides the sex that makes you want to stay with her. If I were you, I would make sure you really do have the necessary bond before engaging in sex. Probably the best indicator of this is asking yourself if you want to marry her for life. If the answer is yes, there's no reason to rush. You can wait until you're married, and you should. Statistics show that people who engage in premarital sex are more likely to divorce than those who do not.

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