GFF Literary Workshop: Week 4

Actually, it's a good story, although it's a bit vague at the beginning. I think that maybe you're trying to develop just the conversation between two persons without involving any characteristics or events on the background, so it's ok. UI must admit that I'm a bit confusing though.

The story went well in my opinion. The only flaw I see is when you describe a lot about Daniel and Lilia. Some people like a thorough description about the characters, but here comes the bad news: most of people don't actually like this. If you want to tell about their background, it's fine, but try to limit the descriptions into only some details. You can try to tell the other explanation in the story, either from the conversations occurring or from events happening.

And yeah, this story is like a movie script for a ten-up-to-twenty minutes film.
But overall, it's cool. Keep up the work.

Jam it back in, in the dark.