GFF Literary Workshop: Trial Week 1

Analysis on 'Never Born':

I agree with all above that it has a good beginning indeed. The story is set strongly with good timeline, giving us ideas about what will happen next. But the conflict within is not deep enough; it's like watching a silent movie, where you are just like saying, "Ok, here's the problem, and here is the conflict, then here's the ending." The story is bland, like a wave with low tides, thus making it a bit boring to read after some paragraphs.

The pace itself is running too fast between the conflict and the climax, and it even speeds up while reaching the end, making the end become too sudden and hanging. The introduction of this Prof. Crath is too close to the ending; you could've explained between him and Howard to make the climax more exciting to read.

The solution is too open and short, leaving the readers questions about details unexplained in the end. You should take some time to expand the ending of whatever you're writing about, because a good beginning could be ruined by an improper ending.

About sentences, I think it is good enough, you just need to expand a bit, using different patterns. Also you may consider join sentences to make the story flow better.

Overall, it's a good one, although the beginning is long, contrast with the short open ending.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Orion, I've sent you a new submission. Please post that one instead of the previous one; the previous one is too bad and stupid to be posted, at least for my consideration.

There's nowhere I can't reach.