The "Line"

Originally Posted by a_licenwondrland

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but here's my "line": I wouldn't date anyone of another race or religion. There are just too many cultural differences, and marriage is hard enough without all the disagreements that would arise as a result of being raised in such different environments.

Either your area is horribly segregated, or you’re butter up blatant discrimination.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by a_licenwondrland

As soon as I saw that you had posted here, I knew that's what you had said.

*Yawn* So predictably wrong.

Okay, so basically you're saying that a person's race makes them a part of a particular culture then?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by a_licenwondrland

But what are the odds that I'd have ended up with someone of another race who had been brought up in a "white" environment?

You see, this statement alone is what let me knew that your experiences with multiculturalism has probably been limited/segregated. Everybody are not tools and blindly go with what their culture dictates as right. Some people/families actually have more independent thinking. They can not only identify with people outside of their alleged culture, but accept and embrace aspects of others.

So once again *yawn* your conflict identification (race/culture) is off. It’s the person, or maybe family that counts. If you had a more multicultural experience, this wouldn’t be so foreign/unlikely to you. But since you seem to habitually be incapable of seeing things outside or your own perspective, I don’t really expect you to understand it, either.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Racist? Where'd you get that from?

And if you can accept and identify with people soooo well, how would the problems you have with people of other backgrounds differ from people that have similar background, but you just don't see eye to eye on an issue with? Trivial differences happens regardless of cutlure.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Racists as in the context that you believe you are superior because of race, no. You know, just because you don't adequately identify with a culture, and sequentially don’t associate with them on a more intimate manner does not make you racists. That’s why I said discriminate.

Originally Posted by dictionary.com

dis•crim•i•nate

To make a clear distinction; distinguish: discriminate among the options available.
To make sensible decisions; judge wisely.
To make distinctions on the basis of class or category without regard to individual merit; show preference or prejudice: was accused of discriminating against women; discriminated in favor of his cronies.

I wasn’t hinting at you thinking you’re better than people. Hell, I’m too blunt to hint at stuff anyway. I say things outright. You’re the one that read into that, and maybe you should check guilt on your part.

My point was that you seem to be putting misplaced weight on class and not what’s really important, the individual (and their family if that’s important to you). If you have conflicts with an individual fine. However a person’s “culture” – while influential – doesn’t not necessarily determine the individual themselves, especially when they have enough intelligence to make their own evaluations and not be a spineless conformist.

And again, statements like:

Quote:

Because there would be fewer differences between two people who were raised in similar environments.

…leads me to believe that your environment/experience is limited/segregated in regard to diversity in culture because where I live there’s vast amount of races from African American, Caucasian, Asian, European, Arabic, Indian, whatever. So much so that a lot of the times you’ll find that once race is not the “dominate one” especially betweens blacks, asians, and whites and what the activity is. Because of this, people interracially date/marry without problems – outside of typical conflicts – all the time. While I’m not claiming that conflicts don’t happen because of it, they aren’t anymore momentous than typical conflicts.

So like I said, either you’re buttering up discriminating. (paying attention to class over character) Or your environment is subjected to incompatible culture shock because of segregation.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

SMX, you are either incredibly naïve or stupid if you believe there aren't vastly more differences between people raised in different cultures/religions/races than between people of the same cuture/religion/race.

I can't even believe I'm debating this with you. I can tell you with absolute certainty that you are the most idealistic person I've ever dealt with if you really believe that PC tripe.

I like how you switched from logic attack to person attack mode so smoothly, Alice. Great job.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

I feel like I'm stirring the pot here, and I don't want that. The bottom line is, I chose not to even CHANCE getting involved with someone who would likely have very a different, possibly very incompatible lifestyle from mine. I really don't see what the big deal is, anyway. It's not like we're removing a potential mate for someone from the pool of candidates or anything, since I'm already married.

I don’t think people’s problem with you in this thread is your personal choices and how you chose to live your life, it’s more so your attitude – or at least, original attitude.

You went about the situation as though cultural barriers (which were identified by you as their race) are - in all absolute fact - a troublesome, unavoidable dilemma. Even when you attempted to escape tunnel vision and identify with other people by saying things like:

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Those kinds of differences are perfectly acceptable between friends, but in a marriage - NO WAY. If you guys want to deal with that, fine.

You’re still implying that these barriers are troublesome unavoidable dilemmas, and if people want to deal with it, than that’s okay with you.

What you either don’t understand, or aren’t really expressing very well, is that to plenty of people, the same thing you perceive as a barrier isn’t a barrier at all. That’s probably why people are arguing with you.

FELIPE NO