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Welcome to the Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis. |
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Move to V13 Frying Pan to Zombie commander 8+9 = 17 miss... shift back to where i was FELIPE NO ![]()
Last edited by Scent of a Grundle; Feb 10, 2009 at 04:16 PM.
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Save vs. Necrotic: success Reaching out with incredibly long arms, Brigid tugs on Soggy's beard from a good ten feet away. With such long-reaching allies, Motsognir can't help but feel more secure. The halfling then proceeds to set the tall zombie on fire, mostly because of the hilarious wailing and shambling about that is sure to result. Sure enough, the zombie captain is soon shrieking and windmilling his arms as expected. Hot damn, look at 'im go. Healing Word: Motsognir's HP +9 Avenging Flame: 11 damage to Zombie Captain + 5 ongoing fire damage Righteous Brand: miss Ewan can't quite find a way to land a hit on the Post-Human Torch without setting his own tunic on fire. Frying Pan: miss The dogs are just completely useless. Again. I might as well send in kobold spitballers. Bite: miss (Gabe) Bite: miss (Gabe) Bite: miss (Gabe) what the: fuck Wailing as its remaining scraps of flesh rapidly go up in a cloud of smoke, the captain staggers away from the melee after taking a wild swing at an area roughly 2 feet over Gabriel's head. Captain takes 5 fire damage Longsword: miss (Gabe) ![]() How ya doing, buddy?
Last edited by The unmovable stubborn; Feb 10, 2009 at 06:00 PM.
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Move to U14 Strike zombie dog CLEAVING into zombie captain HIT! 13 damage to zombie dog! 4 damage to zombie captain! Jam it back in, in the dark. |
Valiant strike on zombie captain 12 + 10 = HIT 8 + 5 = 13 damage The dwarf didn't wait to see the final throes of the captain as his blade raked violently across the creature's midsection, instead he utilised the resistance of the monster's entrails to explode his axe along the same plane once it was wrenched free, spinning hard to his left and sailing his axe at the sound of growling emanating behind him. He looked to cleave head from neck and end this threat once and for all. Action Point. Valiant Strike on green mutt. 7 + 9 = 16 HIT 5 + 5 = 10 Damage There's nowhere I can't reach. ![]() John Mayer just asked me, personally, through an assistant, to sing backup on his new CD.
Last edited by No. Hard Pass.; Feb 11, 2009 at 03:05 PM.
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Flame burst one north of nearest dog This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it. ![]() ![]() |
shift to T15, hit yellow dog How ya doing, buddy?
Last edited by knkwzrd; Feb 11, 2009 at 03:29 PM.
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Move to T13
Righteous Brand on red dog, bonus to whoever takes it I was speaking idiomatically. |
Frying pan vs. red puppy 11+9 hit ... you're kidding. 3 damage. Shift to R11 to cover Bob What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? ![]()
Last edited by Scent of a Grundle; Feb 11, 2009 at 03:52 PM.
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Cleave: 13 damage to Gravehound, 4 damage to the Cap'n Gabriel heaves his axe all about him, hacking down one enemy after the next. The rotting horrors attempt to strike him even as they expire, and the hound lacerates his flesh with its filthy jaws one last time. Argumentus is quite astonished when the manager faints dead away. How dreadful. Yet another abdication of his basic responsibility to the customer. Valiant Strike: 13 damage to Captain (destroyed) Valiant Strike redux: 10 damage to Gravehound (destroyed) Death Jaws: CRITICAL HIT! 9 damage to Gabe, ongoing 5 necrotic (bloodied) Bob sets a puppy on fire. Motsognir murders iit brutally. That's fuckin' teamwork. Flame Burst: 10 damage to Gravehound, Gravehound Viper's Strike: CRITICAL HIT! Gravehound destroyed (Zombie Weakness) Death Jaws: 8 damage to Motsognir, ongoing 5 necrotic (bloodied, prone) The halfling and the barkeep batter away at the last of the hounds, but it seems uninterested in them. It turns away, exposing itself to further assault, and lunges for what seems to be the frailest of the available targets. The snarling hound only gets a snoutful of Bob's quarterstaff for its trouble. Righteous Brand: 7 damage to Gravehound Fry Pan: 4 damage to Gravehound Brigid's Opportunity Attack: 8 damage to Gravehound Gabe's Opportunity Attack: 13 damage to Gravehound (bloodied) Bite: miss (Bob) Most amazing jew boots
Last edited by The unmovable stubborn; Feb 11, 2009 at 07:39 PM.
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Reaping Strike on only remaining zombie dog Hit! 11 damage! What, you don't want my bikini-clad body? |
Let's just purport that you knew where the dog was and you actually moved over to it so we can wrap up the fight
Argumentus strides over, bringing his heavy boot down on the last of the invaders. Its skull crunches messily underfoot. The roach infestation in this place is terrible; look at the size of these things! Reaping Strike: 11 damage to Gravehound (destroyed) VICTORY! Combat: 3486 XP Minor Quest (Keep Ewan Alive): 500 XP -------------------------------------- 3986 XP (797 XP each) Jam it back in, in the dark. |
Motsognir, already on the ground, decides to make the best of his situation and passes out, hoping to wake up feeling nicer.
There's nowhere I can't reach. |
The dwarf exhaled slowly and wandered over to the bar, leaning over it and pulling out a bottle of dwarven spirits. A long pull and he tossed it towards Arg, glancing around the room for anything sliding or moving or generally writhing.
"Well now. That was bracing." The Paladin was grinning from ear to ear. "Maybe we should catch some rest and then go inspect those crypts come morning, aye?" Healing surge to full This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it. ![]() John Mayer just asked me, personally, through an assistant, to sing backup on his new CD. |
I right two of the spikes from the idiot city-lady's fence, shoving two of the dog heads into the sharpened ends. May any other visitors know the meaning that the hills gives this symbol.
I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body? |
Ewan, glad that the ordeal was finally over, takes a look around the bar. Only a few tables had survived the battle, three having been thrown and one lying on the floor in two perfect halves. He was out a few tankards of alcohol and a few of his knives were not going to be used again. The floor was going to be damaged where all of the fishwater had spilled after those ones had died, and also where it had been blown up. Overall... things could have gone worse. Technically.
Still Ewan was grateful for the help that these adventuring types had given him. He set about cleaning the place up, and got everyone who wanted one a drink. He left a mug near the unconsious dwarf, feeling like Santa Claus leaving gifts for all the little children. Except most children wouldn't wake up with the kind of headache that this dwarf would. Ewan finally slumped into the chair behind the bar. He remembered that the large one had been yelling about the service and handed him a feedback card. Ok, it was actually just a normal index card, but he didn't think the large one would either notice or care. The question at this point was, how did the fish get into the bar, and how did these people expect to attack the crypt in the coming days? Ewan thought for a moment, then fell asleep from exhaustion. Meh, he thought as he slid off his chair. They'll wake me if they need me. I was speaking idiomatically. ![]() |
The Paladin set to the task of dragging the corpses outside the building, a safe distance from any homes, picking over them for whatever goods they might have before stacking them. Wandering back inside he picked up a bottle of high alcohol spirits and used it to douse the broken bodies before tossing a torch on them and letting them illuminate the sky.
Sack and loot. Nuke the place from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? ![]() John Mayer just asked me, personally, through an assistant, to sing backup on his new CD. |
Argumentus finds some accommodations which managed to remain unspoiled by the recent ballyhoo. He drops his heavy shield, which would make sleep most troublesome, and settles in for a nice, long rest.
How ya doing, buddy? |
Finally we had bested our opponents and the Horde set about their usual post-battle ritual of looting bodies and passing out. I was feeling a little woozy myself so I picked up a stool and sat myself down at the bar. The barman, who had miraculously survived the battle, brought me over a mug of something that might have once been ale. The thought crossed my mind to ask for a nice glass of wine but looking at the dusty bottles behind the bar, I had little hope of there being anything drinkable in the place.
As I rested, I looked around the room at the aftermath of our battle. There were a few acid burns and scorch marks here and there and most of the furniture had been smashed but in all honestly, the place didn't look much worse than the Wyvern's Head, my local during my college years, after a busy friday night. Some people had suggested that having three happy hours a night in the pub equidistant from the college of magic and the barbarian's guild was a bad idea but the landlord had insisted it was a tradition in his homeland. Giants make great landlords. I hope it was someone else's turn to take watch first because I was shattered. Healing surge back to health, find somewhere away from any windows and have a kip. Most amazing jew boots ![]() ![]() |
The party settles in for the night; no more attacks seem to be forthcoming and most of them would be too tired to fight off a swarm of gnats if it came to that. Before he finds a table to crawl under, Gabriel drags the corpses outside. "Don't sleep with dead people", High-Father Erasmus had always said. The Sledgehammer clan lord had been getting more than a little eccentric once he entered his 180s, but this was solid advice.
Before he torches the bodies, Gabriel takes time out to quickly check them for any valuables. It bordered on graverobbing, really, but if the goods decide to hop out of the grave and chase him around who can blame him? Most of the dead, probably simple peasants in life, have little other than their rags. Though the captain's chainmail and sword are thoroughly corroded, he does wear a fine pair of boots which remain remarkably untarnished for their time beneath the earth. ![]() Jam it back in, in the dark. |
I awoke feeling refeshed and healthy and ready to go and slay me some bad guys. I busied myself transcribing my Shield spell and Sleep spells into my book while enjoying a breakfast from the pub's stores. I noticed the ugly dwarf had found some new boots which would perfectly complement my robes and rather hoped he wouldn't want them.
It seemed to me that searching the cave beneath the pub was the most sensible course of action but it was someone else's turn to take charge. I sat back and waited to see what the Horde decided. There's nowhere I can't reach. ![]() ![]() |
Motsognir wakes up feeling better than usual. Seeing the bodies have already been rummaged through, he vaguely remembers noticing a sweet-as-dwarven-ass horned helmet on the head of the zombie captain. It may not have been magical, and it maybe falling apart a little, and it may be dangling with rotting flesh, but right now Motsognir had nothing on his head at all, plus, it would look pretty badass.
Look for the kickass helmet that is clearly visible in the zombie captain avatar. Most amazing jew boots |
Ancient Helm: worth 50 GP Argumentus wakes up with a clear head, the infection of the night before having fled entirely. He remembers little of what went on after he was bitten, but feels a faint desire to examine the wine cellar again so that he may scoff at it. I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?
Last edited by The unmovable stubborn; Feb 12, 2009 at 10:17 AM.
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I ain't in a fit mood to be chattin' with anyone. Re-resting the dead never settles well with me. I take a look around the cellar, surveyin' the damage. Might as well get it over with.
I was speaking idiomatically. |
The dwarf saw the wizard admiring the fine pair of boots, and was more than happy to toss them her way. He was never big on stilettos anyways.
Stretching and donning his armour once again, he slung his axe over his shoulder and took a moment to be quite content he was no longer being attacked by dead things. However, he quickly discovered he missed it, and decided it was time to do it again. Clapping his hands together he commented: "Right. I don't know about the rest of you, but I've always wanted to kick in the door of a sarcophagus. What say we throw the big guy at it til it works?" He thought for a moment then added: "Alternatively, we could use the tunnel in the basement." What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? ![]() John Mayer just asked me, personally, through an assistant, to sing backup on his new CD. |
The dwarf threw me the boots and I excitedly put them on. They made me feel as light as air and I wasn't entirely surprised to see they were made by the Avandra boot company and named for the mighty warrior they employed to advertise their wares. Yep, these Avandra Air Jordeth's would serve me well...
I jumped to my feet with new found acrobaticality and followed the child into the cellar, ready to FELIPE NO ![]() ![]() |
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