I don't mean this in a bad way, but genetically you are a cul-de-sac

Member 518

Level 32.84

Mar 2006

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Nov 18, 2010, 03:32 PM
Local time: Nov 18, 2010, 08:32 PM
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#1 of 18
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I've been in two long-distance relationships and what I've found is surprisingly, I'm alright with it. I'm quite an independent person anyway so as long as we manage to visit each other on a reasonably regular basis and we also keep regular contact outside of that, I can cope.
What I've learned is to figure out the dependence or investment of the person you are going into one with. My first was not invested in the relationship, so I ended up pretty much cut off from him until he decided he could spend five minutes of his time talking to me (usually via IM and then only when he wanted something from me), then nothing asides from the odd text for weeks. It was nothing short of soul-crushing and despite how well I can trundle along by myself, I like to know I'm actually still *in* a relationship. My second was very dependent on me and I found it suffocating. Phonecalls at least 3 times a day, if I didn't pick up he called my friends or family to make sure I was okay or get into contact with me that way, and pretty much every time he did call he told me how much he missed me . This inbetween IM conversations and texts and him coming back to visit every weekend and crashing at my place. He lived 100 miles away from me and I still felt I needed some space >.<
I suppose though, the only way to gauge the other person in such a way is to get into a long distance relationship with them in the first place.
Jam it back in, in the dark.
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