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Welcome to the Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis. |
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YEEHAW TOBY KEITH LET'S GET THIS MOTHERFUCKER STARTED.
Right off the hop, I have a clear number 1 this year that blew all the others out of the water for me. Ladies and gentleman, I give you ![]() 40 points. All Day. Erry day. 40 points for Ori and the Blind Forest. COUNT THOSE POINTS YOU LIMEY BASTARD. Why? Why is this game so good? It is the best indie title I've played all year, it is the best metroidvania I've played all year, it is the best platformer I've played all year. Everything it does, it not only does well, it excels at. The music is wonderful, the story is brilliant, and my god, the visuals. IT IS SO PRETTY. AND THE SKY FULL OF STARS. SHOULD HAVE SENT A POET. ![]() The game is just obscenely elegant in how it handles itself. For me, it struck a lot of the same notes as Transistor, with my constant surprise at just how artfully it made its choices. Wonderful, wonderful experience. Well then, I guess I'd better round out some of these choices, so HERE WE GO. ![]() Love? Love is for the living, Sal. I'm only after her for one reason - she's my ticket out of here. I feel like this should really start with: "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." Because the noir thread is so very heavy in this game. Oh right. TEN POINTS TO GRIFFYND- I mean Grim Fandango: Remastered, Mr Conductor. That out of the way. When you played this, back in the day, and it was exquisite? It's still exquisite. People have said it really shows how the pacing and the puzzles haven't aged well, but I think it's like a glorious museum piece that has been restored. Phenomenal amount of fun to be had here, still. is it Kentucky Route 0? No. It isn't. But I haven't run across many things that are. Pick it up. Enjoy it. You have to work pretty goddamn hard not to enjoy this one. Which brings us to number three on our list. ![]() TEN POINTS, MUSIC MAN. TEN POINTS TO SHADOWRUN HONG KONG. "But Deni, this is just new assets bolted on to a 2 year old concept with a revamped story and some nice music and some decent atmosphere." YUP. Which is why it only gets ten. Because they could push themselves a wee bit on the Engine. But the music is phenomenal, the story is brilliant, and unlike a Sprout movie review, when I use those words they actually mean something. The story feels greasy at times, absolutely laden with betrayal and isolation and... it's just handled really well. If you don't like the other games, you won't like this, but if you did, you'll adore it. Simple. And finally we come to the end of things. But WHAT an ending. ![]() 40. goddamn. points. Why? Why does it get 40? There's a -lot- of reasons. Let me explain. No. Is too much. Let me sum up. ![]() BUY THIS GAME. 40 POINTS. Okay, so that's our hundred. So let's get the post script out of the way now. All these are tainted by the fact a game I would give 40 points to, Undertale, hasn't been finished yet. I promised to stream it for GFChat when I have time, and I hold to that. But everything I've seen of people playing it clicks with me. So that's a thing. Also, here's our honourable mentions list: Her Story, Axiom Verge, Titan Souls, Broforce, SOMA, Invisible Inc. Selfie: Sisters of the Amniotic Lens, Sunset, The Beginner's Guide, The Witcher 3, Pillars of Eternity, The Talos Principle, Shin Megami Tensei Super Long title survivor of demons and darkness and gothy shit 2: record breaker: the reckoning: Gaiden, Grandia II Anniversary, Divinity EE, Yoshi's Wooly World. Games that if they are on your list I assume your brain doesn't function properly: Life is Strange. The single most over-hyped bunch of nonsense I've ever played. Like someone wrapped all the tropes indie kids love around absolutely nothing and it just crumbles in your hands when you try and touch it. This game is Zooey Deschanel. It's not fucking quirky. It is just wearing glasses and playing a ukulele while praying to all the gods you don't notice how vapid it is. Jam it back in, in the dark. ![]() John Mayer just asked me, personally, through an assistant, to sing backup on his new CD.
Last edited by No. Hard Pass.; Jan 3, 2016 at 10:53 AM.
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