[DnD] Crusader (GFF D&D Adventure 2)

Gabriel was well aware that sneaky finding of things was not his forte. He leaned against the wall near the bookshelf and flipped through the texts idly, dropping them on the floor as he went. He flipped over the bed, kicked aside the pillow, generally tapped at walls with a gauntlet-clad fist and even stomped on the floor for a bit.

Crazy old man probably hid everything under a convenient bearskin rug anyway.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The dwarf walked into the other room, busy reading a book about magic traps in dungeons. Unfortunately he skipped right past the chapter on mirrors as transportation and read the bit on moving walls that throw you into holes what have dragons in them.

Without thinking he reached out and placed the book into Argumentus' hand. He stopped, glanced over and called out:

"I guess the mirror is the doorway, boys. The Big Slow found it."

And with that he stepped through the mirror and looked around.

"Well, doesn't look like anything is rushing out to kill us. That's a start."

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf sighed and quickly pulled B, D, C, E, A. Just to see what happened. Whatever this had to do with Sarathar, he had no idea.

Most amazing jew boots

"ow! Cunts!"
B, D, A, C, E

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The dwarf hung his head in shame, inputting the same combination again because his controller is far too drunk to remember such combinations.

How ya doing, buddy?

The dwarf sniffed quietly and let his senses and his schooling flood his memory. Nothing immediately religious about this struck him immediately, but he thought he'd look a little deeper anyway.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf, glanced into the room, muttering under his breath before he turned to the others and spoke, rather loudly as he's prone to do.

"So, what we have here is some crazy old wizard obsessed with a word. Salazar, Salami-star, Klattuu, Verataa, Nicktu... no. What was it? Sarathar? What in Kord's eternal favour are we meant to do with a useless clue like Sarathar in a house designed to shock our retard and apparently stump our thinker so much he doesn't speak a goddamn word for days?"

He growled under his breath.

"This isn't a wizard, it's Pee Wee Herman."

FELIPE NO

The dwarf blinks.

"Huh. Apparently the trigger was a speaking dwarf. That's a weird way to end a spell."

With that Gabriel swung the holy symbol of Kord into his grasp and stepped into the room. If nothing happened and there was nothing to see, he'd leave again. Before someone started throwing levers all willy nilly again.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

About 8 seconds into the 15 second limit the dwarf wandered out of the room, muttering in annoyance.

"Stupid old wizards and their stupid old tricks."

He then looked into the northern room and saw mechanical dogs.

"O good. More dogs for Slow to play with. I'm sure this will go fine."

At least he'd figured out the lever system.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Not that it mattered, because the little female did all the lever pulling. That insufferable bitch. >8(

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf glanced at the mage and questioned: "Hey, is that an augmenting whetstone? Well that's useful at least."

Stretching as he became slightly bored with the whole "everything is trying to murder us" thing, he glanced over at the broken cleric and inquired as to her health before he rubbed his brow and looked around with a sigh. There had to be a keystone somewhere. Maybe those statues. And with that he wandered over to them and started tapping them with his throwing hammer. Maybe one was hollow. Or something.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The dwarf slid away his hammer and unsheathed his axe, muttering under his breath as he eyed up those dogs.

"Oh, for Kord's sake" he began "Just give the wizard the jewel and let him use that magic hand thing to do something other than throw me into a pit for a change."

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The dwarf glanced over and rolled his eyes as the gas erupted in Argumentus' face. He smirked and slapped Mots in the shoulder.

"A gold piece says he tries to fight the empty box."

Gabriel was feeling antsy. He was no great thinker. He was the wrathful fist of Kord's vengeance. Frankly he was considering going to fight those tinker toy dogs just so he would feel, you know. Useful. As it stood he may as well tattoo the name Mots on his forehead and take up loitering, as useful as he was being. He laughed to himself and turned to tell the joke to the closest individual. But then he realised it was Mots. And the Warlord probably wouldn't find it quite as funny as he did.

"Right. Where are we with the magic placing of that gem?"

He yelled across the room at the door what has a snake-rock behind it.

"Oi. You there. In the room. Who talks like... well, I don't know what you talk like. A golem of some sort. You're probably a golem. Anyway, you in there. How does this work? Can we come in there so long as we HAVE the keystone? Or do we like, have to throw the keystone at you to keep from dying? I just want to get these rules in place. I mean, I don't want to give you the keystone if you're going to try and bite our heads off halfway to the holder-thing. You know. I just think its fair."

He cleared his throat and then added, as an afterthought: "O. And did you kill three other teams of people or so? I hear we're not the first to come looking through your crappy no-fun house."

I was speaking idiomatically.

"Let's take a shot. This guy seems legit."

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf blinked as his shoulder slap brought Mots back to reality.

"You know, I think we need to give that thing the ruby before we get the sword."

He shrugged.

"Just sayin"

FELIPE NO

The dwarf looked around for a few seconds as the group settled into stunned silence. He cleared his throat as the moment lingered from a passing moment into that awkward length of time that happens after someone tells a dead baby joke at a table that includes a woman who had a miscarriage a few weeks prior, but no one wants to say anything or draw attention to it. So it's just really awkward.

"All right. I know I'm not the only one thinking about it, but now I kind of want to throw the mage at it and see what happens."

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Gabriel tossed the whetstone into the most convenient place he could find. The lower jaw of his skull-stick.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The dwarf chuckled at the mage's comment. He knew well enough this was not a place for his kind. But he kept his shield readied and his axe on his shoulder as he strolled around the room, poking the mirror. Just to test.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Gabriel felt the situation of jamming his finger into something painfully solid on the other side of a portal was worth some curse words.

So he used some.

And then he glanced over his shoulder and called out to the crack squad of know-nothings he chummed around with. "The mirror is a door again."

He hated wizard houses. They made explaining things very difficult. He took a chance and stuck his face through the mirror, if there was nothing immediately waiting to leap out and cut his head off, he'd step through to see what was on the other side.

if there -was- something waiting to cut his head off on the other side, he'd try and cut its head off first. For something to do.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The dwarf grabbed the healing potion and the potion of mimicry. Remembering a cleric friend of his ranting about this, he figured it was fairly useless for him to have and as he kicked the shelf until the broadsword fell into his hands, examining it to see if it had the markings the Paladin had described, he held the potion out of the mirror, calling out:

"Anyone want a potion what lets you look like someone else?"

He was a Paladin of Kord. Deception was never a weapon he found especially useful. The weak would quake before the might of his god, and the strong were meant to be slain, not tricked. No. Mimicry was not for him.

Take healing potion.
Take sword. Examine to make sure it's the -right- sword.
Offer potion of mimicry to first person who takes it.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The Paladin hmmed to himself. As a dwarf he was immediately drawn to gems. He snatched up the amethyst and 15 gold for himself before he almost wandered into the mage's face coming through the mirror.

He brushed him aside and stepped through.

"Found the blade. Damned fine looking thing. I can see why he'd want it back."

He paused for a second as he holstered his axe and slung the hammer over his shoulder.

"There's some gold in there, too. So there's that going for us."

I was speaking idiomatically.

The dwarf wandered back towards the lever room, taking the time to examine the sword as he did so. It really was quite nice. I mean, if you liked swords.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf grinned, making sure to place himself firmly in the doorway between the enemies and the more frail party members.

"A holy warrior of Kord does not tremble before common thieves. Especially dandelion eating, twig throwing bandits."

He was talking largely to give himself time to get his hand on his axe and position his shield, looking to make himself as pin cushion proof as possible before they figured out he was about to cut them in half.

"You think I'm afraid of you, the day I've had? I know what you came for. Come and get it, you pussy."



FELIPE NO

The dwarf grimaced as the arrow pierced his armour and punctured his flesh; the pain enough of a distraction that he saw the greatclub screaming towards him only once it was too late. Steadying his shoulder to stomach the mass of the blow, he was knocked slightly to the side as it careened off his upper body, the force causing him to wince. For a moment he allowed himself to worry about what was to come. The battle was joined, but perhaps it was folly to do so. They had not ties to this blade. There was no glory here.

But as his holy symbol wrapped its way around his wrist, tight enough to remind him of its presence, he allowed a smile to slip over his lips. Kord was with him, and this beast would fall before his axe like leaves before the wind. He laughed for a moment before he launched himself forward, slamming his shoulder into the beast's knee and cutting upwards at its thigh and hip.

"I hope you've made peace with whatever god an abomination like you serves, Tall One. For Gabriel Sledgehammer, servant of Kord, will send you to him."

The dwarf spun and lashed out viciously with his axe again, aiming directly for the thing's midsection with the attack. His entire body seemed, for a moment, to glow with Kord's righteous fury.

Second Wind
Righteous Smite
Divine Strength
Action Point
Paladin's Judgment with healing surge to me, if possible. If not, to Argumentus in expectation of him getting shot.

Also, if the ogre activates an opportunity attack, trigger the opportunistic battle-axe's daily power.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The dwarf roared as his friend, Kord be praised he couldn't believe he called the man that, but it was the truth, his friend fell to the ground. Moving to his left he put a hand on Argumentus' unconscious shoulder. His will alone screaming out to his god to bring this deserving warrior back to health. His grip was enough to bruise, the holy symbol, the fist of Kord burrowing into the flesh of the fallen warrior. At the same time he drew a line in the ground before them, before the ogre. Snarling between his bared teeth:

"You come no further, you beast. The light of the god of war does not fear you, Abomination. I will end your life, but beyond this point, you will harm no one."

Shuffle to m10 (SUNK MY BATTLESHIP OMG)
Lay on hands Argumentus (<3 Brady 8( )
Sacred Circle

Jam it back in, in the dark.