We might get murdered

okay, so I started dating this girl after she broke up with her fiancee. He treated her pretty shitty and they never saw each other because he joined the military. She broke up with him and then started showing interest in me after a while.

Her and I have been dating for a few months now and it's been great. The relationship is solid and we have a lot of fun together. There is one little hang-up though...

Her ex-fiancee is going to be back in August and has done nothing but harass her and send her and I indirect death threats. A friend of ours has even gotten messages from him saying how easy it would be to get away with murdering us and blaming it on post-traumatic stress disorder. The guy owns many guns and such and I am now worried for my girlfriend and I's life. The guy seems unstable enough to do it too. I've received hollow death threats in the past from enemies, but this one seems as serious as a heart attack.

so GFF... how do I tackle this one?
(it would be appreciated if joke replies were kept to a minimum.)

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Azral

(it would be appreciated if joke replies were kept to a minimum.)

Well, I'm out.

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Well the common sense thing to do would be to call the police, explain all this stuff to them, get a restraining order and let them know ahead of time that this joker is bonkers if you're serious about it.

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Originally Posted by Decoy Goat

Well, I'm out.

GTFO.

It would seriously help if you

A) Talk it over with your parents (plus hers) and see what advice they give you, trust me you will feel better if you do.

B) Talk to the police. (Show them everything he has sent you).

C) Get a restraining order.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Hmm...You've got to be smarter than him, and put him into evidence.
Is any of those threat messages you (or your friend) received, handwritten, or do you've got any voice message recorded?

Specially the one which tells "how easy it would be to get away with murdering us and blaming it on post-traumatic stress disorder". If you've got proof, the authorities may be able to take action.

I was speaking idiomatically.

With the whole war on terror thing going on over there, it shouldn't be too difficult to get the attention you need from the police. You can say he's a threat to national security and they'll get him.

I still don't believe that a guy that treated his girlfirend badly would care so much for his relationship as to kill you... Seriously, don't you think?

Originally Posted by Azral

The guy owns many guns and such and I am now worried for my girlfriend and I's life.

They let the military keep their guns after the service is over?! Wow!

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Have you actually seen the guns? I've been around enough violent people do know that usually when a person is about to do something fucked up and violent, like murder, they don't keep threatening first. They just do it.

FELIPE NO

Most of the time, they hint at something. These are pretty big hints. I'd tell the po-lice!

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Umma

I still don't believe that a guy that treated his girlfirend badly would care so much for his relationship as to kill you... Seriously, don't you think?

You have never met another human being in your life have you. Hello possessive and abusive boyfriend/ex-boyfriend stereotype, how are you doing on this fine afternoon?

Quote:

They let the military keep their guns after the service is over?! Wow!

In America, it is legal to own firearms when properly licensed. My father owns several hunting rifles and a couple of pistols, legally no less.

Seriously, why do you even post in a forum that is all about human emotions when you know nothing about human emotions?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Get a couple of pistols on your own just in case, and cross your fingers and hope to god he's not mentally deluded enough to actually CARRY OUT those threats.

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As long as you have copies of the threatening messages, I would definitely go to the police. It's wholly possible that may only be idle threats, but I wouldn't risk it.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Idle threats still constitute harassment. It's always good to inform the law if you think your life/safety's at risk.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

My question is this, did he threaten you to your face or to your girlfriend's face? If that's the case, you can get a restraining order on him right away. Because it was a threat on your life, it placed you in a reasonable fear for your life, which is one of the things they'll ask you when you go to get one. As everyone else has said, tell the police and tell as many people as you can about this. That way if he tries to do something (God forbid), everybody can point to him. Whatever you do, don't write this off as nothing.

How ya doing, buddy?

Hello, ANGST

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Does he have any pets? Kill it and nail it to his front door.

That's not a joke reply. If he's not afraid of the law, make him afraid of you.

How ya doing, buddy?

The answer is simple: Kill him first.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Definitely report it to the police and keep a record of all the evidence you have of this (witnesses, voice message recordings, letters, etc.). If you can, get restraining order for you, your girlfriend, and even friends/family members if it is allowed. This is a form of harrassment, so you could possibly take him to court on criminal and maybe civil charges (get some $$$ out of the ordeal).

I wish you the best of luck.

Originally Posted by Azral

A friend of ours has even gotten messages from him saying how easy it would be to get away with murdering us and blaming it on post-traumatic stress disorder.

Isn't "debriefing" suppose to help stop that? From what I've heard, and this source is sketchy, military personnel get debriefed in order to become normal members of society again after being trained for so long to be able to kill people. I don't know how strong the whole post-traumatic stress thing will work, especially since the tests that they give in court to prove his insanity are very tricky and are harder to fool than most people think (at least in my region it is).

Originally Posted by tenjouten

Get a couple of pistols on your own just in case, and cross your fingers and hope to god he's not mentally deluded enough to actually CARRY OUT those threats.

With the military guy's training, I find it very hard to believe that a civilian would be able to shoot a military guy and kill him right away before the military guy does the same. Even if you did shoot him, unless it was in a couple of immediate-death spots, he probably has been trained well enough to run on pure adrenaline and ignore the pain.

How ya doing, buddy?

I've always wanted a taser... there's two types... regular one which you need to be in range... and the air taser.. two darts shoot out a certain amount of feet piercing at least 2 inches into your victim...
I always wanted the air taser ^__^
but you should notify the police about the threats. show them the notes as proof.
i still recomend the air taser but you need to be very alert if he's had military training.
oh yeah, check your state law to see if tasers are legal.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

A restraining order couldn't hurt, but keep in mind that it's only a piece of paper. If he really intends to do you harm, a restraining order will NOT stop him. Remember, the cops can't throw the guy in jail untill he actually commits a crime.

I agree with the other poster, you may want to consider buying a gun of your own. Simply owning it isn't enough though, you'll need to learn how to use the darn thing. Self-defense is a serious matter, buying a gun isn't something you should do unless you intend to practice with it on a regular basis. It might be a good idea to have the girlfriend practice with it as well...

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Most other replies have been pretty solid, so not much to add, but I'll try.

1. Document everything.

2. Give everything you've got to the police and either have him arrested (death threats are a felony in most states) or get a restraining order.

3. If you don't have anything concrete, get a tape recorder and talk to the guy in a public place (although be sure to watch your back). Get his threats on tape and take them to the police.

4. Get armed yourself. Even if you don't like blades or guns, get over that and get some. If he enters your property without permission and does not leave when commanded, you are within your legal rights (in most states at least, check up on this first) to kill any intruders, especially if they've given you previous threats.

5. If you have enough solid evidence (letters, recordings, etc.), call the FBI, this is one of their big things. The guy being in the military, you should also get in touch with a high-ranking military officer.

6. If it's possible, move away and make sure no one knows how to contact you. Might seem cowardly, but better to be a coward than dead.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Visavi

With the military guy's training, I find it very hard to believe that a civilian would be able to shoot a military guy and kill him right away before the military guy does the same. Even if you did shoot him, unless it was in a couple of immediate-death spots, he probably has been trained well enough to run on pure adrenaline and ignore the pain.

He was a civilian before joining the military and was trained to handle himself. Also adrenaline is what happens to everyone though the military guy should be able to operate on training not instinct.


If you do get a gun, I'd strongly advise you to get some training using it. And definitely save any evidence you have against the guy for a possible restraining order.

If at all possible, move. Move far away and don't tell him, nor her and maybe not even anyone else he can get into contact with if you feel it necessary.

I was speaking idiomatically.

All i would do is just make sure and tell the police about the 'death threats' that way he couldn't get away with it because of a stupid answer since he already admitted that he was fine. I would tell parents/friends and such and see what they say and maybe contact some sort of recruiting station and see if they can help you out with the problem, maybe they can get the guy stationed somewhere else to live so there wouldn't be any problems. And the final best solution would be to move away some where, don't tell anyone except close friends and family that do not know the guy at all. And make sure you buy an armed weapon to hide in the house in case it comes down to that. A shotgun would be nice, but a pistol will do. and make sure you know how to use it!

(That about sums up almost everyones post eh?)

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

First you really have to ask yourself:

Is the juice worth the squeeze?

Is this chick worth dying for? I mean I've been in situations where my johnson says "I'll go to the end of the Earth for you" but finally my brain kicked in and said "Uh, time to go peanut."

Is she really willing to die for you? Cause if this fucker is crazy enough to kill you, he'll gut her like a fish. How sure are you of the fact that her love for you will compel her to lay down her life after only a couple months of dating.

If you're in it for the long haul, confront him in an open public area with many people and a few friends for backup. He's either the school yard bully or the actual "psycho" real thing. If she's worth dying for then the odds are even and it's worth a shot.

In my opinion this military guy probably ain't playin'. The cops aren't gonna do too much unless you take all these death threat letters and stuff to them and demand a restraining order. Not that a restraining order will work against psycho "I know how to break your neck in 30 places with a twist of my wrist" army guy.

If she's worth the trouble and you see the first sign of danger, run like hell. No shame in staying alive. Move to the other side of the country and start your lives together there. You guys are probably young and can eek out a decent living together. Also buy a firearm. May I suggest a 40 caliber Walther P99 titanium. Like the kick ass gun Selene has in Underworld. Make sure you have hollow points to go with it.

Just remember my first question.

Is the juice worth the squeeze?

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I agree with all the other suggestions: document everything (record conversations if necessary I don't care if it doesn't hold water in court), tell the police, tell your parents, tell his parents, whatever you have to do. Make sure everyone knows this guy is toying with the idea of doing you harm.

Beyond that, try talking to him. You'd be surprised at how many problems can be solved through dialogue. Yes, it is hard talking to absolute nutcases, but it's worth a shot, I would think.

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Originally Posted by ieatjackets

I agree with all the other suggestions: document everything (record conversations if necessary I don't care if it doesn't hold water in court)

Trust me, documentation will hold water in court. If a judge sees that you've been documenting all conversations with dates, times, and what was said, he's more likely to believe you. I know this from firsthand experience. It seems that judges appreciate people that sit down and take the time out to document things.

Jam it back in, in the dark.