How do you move on after so long.

Ok so I never post here as much as I wanted to, especially in ANGST considering I don't want to be all whiney and stuff, but I just don't know my options at the moment. Please, have patience with me and read...

For 2 and a half years, I was going out with this guy. The relationship was mostly long distance but we talked everyday, literally for hours everyday. He was my best friend and we new everything about eachother. In person we weren't together as long as we were apart but when we were, we both knew that our relationship could never be compramised because I thought that we really loved eachother. I thought we were soul mates.

When we met, I guess you coulda called me "emo" but he changed me. He made me realize so much more about myself and he made me love life. We fixed eachothers problems.

Our number one focus was being together but we couldn't since I wasn't 18 yet and he was 3 years older then me so we had to wait. I thought we could do it since neither of us was unfaithful and it was something we both really wanted. We planned a whole year about living arangements, my job, his job, our family situations... we were ready.

A month before before I was gonna move in with him, things changed. I started hanging out and partying with friends a lot, getting drunk and jus fooling around, like a goodbye thing and he never liked that. He got a promotion that took up most of his day and was too tired to do much of anything else, even talk to me.

Then, he stopped talking to me all together. Wouldn't answer my calls or emails and it got me doubting myself and what I was doing. One day I get an email from him saying that he doesn't want to be together anymore, that he doesn't love me like he use to, that I am being childish, and he will explain everything later, just not now. I couldn't believe it at all.

... he never called me. I never got any closure.

I fell into a whole that I can't even get out of. I got kicked out of my house the day I turned 18, started doing drugs, barely went to work, got into trouble with the law, fooled around with too many guys I don't even remember most. I didn't know what I was doing until my feelings went completely numb. I can't cry or pretty much care about anyone. No guilt, no nothing. And I don't understand it. I could end up in jail and I don't care. I think I'm pregnant but that doesn't even phase me.

I'm screwing up so much but I can't let go of what happened, how we lasted 2 and a half years and he ends it all in an email. How I thought we loved eachother so much, that we were soulmates but then what are we now.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore but I feel the same way now then when I did when I got the email. It feels like time hasn't moved for me. Only thing changed is that I don't feel like I hate or love anything anymore. I don't feel anything and it's driving me nuts. I don't even have a care toward my brothers and sisters.

I am lost and I don't know what to do anymore. If you have any advice for me, it would be greatly appreciated.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I would have to say that the most important thing to do with your life right now is finish up your education or do something about it. While boys and other things may come and go, an education is imperative in this day and age to get a job, make money and survive.

Do not wait til your boyfriend calls you back and look for something else in your life. Maybe doing some community service would make you feel better just about your situation in general. Just from what I read, it feels like you have been disconnected from the real world for a while. It would probably be a good idea to stay away from things like drinking, drugs and sex and get involved with other people who aren't part of that crowd.

You can't change the past but you can change your future. You know things are messed up now, but you can still do something about it. Trying to fix things now, when it is not neccessarily too late, can dramatically improve your life.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by T0X1Qu3

For 2 and a half years, I was going out with this guy. The relationship was mostly long distance but we talked everyday, literally for hours everyday. He was my best friend and we new everything about eachother. In person we weren't together as long as we were apart but when we were, we both knew that our relationship could never be compramised because I thought that we really loved eachother. I thought we were soul mates.

This is very much deja vu, except my ex and I lived close together at first and then he was forced to move b/c of his parents, so it was long-distance for about 2 years. However, I was with the guy for over 5 years, so I can at least assure you that it is possible to move on.

Quote:

A month before before I was gonna move in with him, things changed. I started hanging out and partying with friends a lot, getting drunk and jus fooling around, like a goodbye thing and he never liked that. He got a promotion that took up most of his day and was too tired to do much of anything else, even talk to me.

Then, he stopped talking to me all together. Wouldn't answer my calls or emails and it got me doubting myself and what I was doing. One day I get an email from him saying that he doesn't want to be together anymore, that he doesn't love me like he use to, that I am being childish, and he will explain everything later, just not now. I couldn't believe it at all.

... he never called me. I never got any closure.

Wait, he helped you better yourself and you considered him to be your soulmate, yet you decide to play party girl a month before you move in with him? A part of me doesn't blame him for what he did--I know I would have been very pissed if my guy pulled this crap on me--but to say that he will explain everything to you about why you were being childish and then he leaves you hanging like that? That's wrong and it messes with the mind. Maybe if you could explain to me why you went party mode I could get a better understaning at how much of a jerk this guy really is.

My guy broke up with me through e-mail literally 2 days before the world starting going to shit with the war. It sucks when that happens and it drove me crazy for almost a year when you can't even have the chance to explain yourself or beat the cheating bisexual (word is his current boyfriend has that taken care of...karma). Do you know any of his friends? Or someone that can get in contact with him? Frankly, all you normally need to do is wait it out and confusion and closure should hopefully go away.

Quote:

I fell into a whole that I can't even get out of. I got kicked out of my house the day I turned 18, started doing drugs, barely went to work, got into trouble with the law, fooled around with too many guys I don't even remember most. I didn't know what I was doing until my feelings went completely numb. I can't cry or pretty much care about anyone. No guilt, no nothing. And I don't understand it. I could end up in jail and I don't care. I think I'm pregnant but that doesn't even phase me.

I'm screwing up so much but I can't let go of what happened, how we lasted 2 and a half years and he ends it all in an email. How I thought we loved eachother so much, that we were soulmates but then what are we now.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore but I feel the same way now then when I did when I got the email. It feels like time hasn't moved for me. Only thing changed is that I don't feel like I hate or love anything anymore. I don't feel anything and it's driving me nuts. I don't even have a care toward my brothers and sisters.

I am lost and I don't know what to do anymore. If you have any advice for me, it would be greatly appreciated.

Wow, you sound so much like one of my best friends. With the exception of the pregnancy, she basically went into that mode as well. Now, she in college with a McNaire scholarship and a husband that loves her. I think you should take a little break from society for a while and try to focus on where you want to be in life. What you want to do in life. It sounds like you don't want to continue down this road, and I assure you that if you have faith that there's someone else out there that will love you even more than the loser that can't even remember how to push the "send" button, then you should be able to slowly regain feeling and emotion.

It may take a while, but with some work it can happen. You really don't need a lover to be happy if you can figure out other goals. I used to think that you did, but boys come and go, but goals can stay for as long as you are willing to pursue them. Check yourself into a rehab clinic if you want to stop the drugs and drinking. Do you have any hobbies or anything that you used to love? I think right now you need to focus on yourself and where you want to be in life. The baby situation could complicate things a little bit, or it could be a way of fate/deity/coincidence to say, "Yeah, you need to focus on something different for a while." Maybe even a fairy tale thing could happen where the kid could renew your sense of love and feelings.

Take a small break from partying and drugs since they are mainly a distraction. Figure out where you want to be in life and go for it. If it's finding someone to love then you need to look inside yourself and try to love yourself for who you are or want to eventually be. Try doing something spiritual to help you relax and find yourself (not necessarily religious). And remember, it is possible to get over the guy and survive to meet someone even better. It's happened to my friends and I'm over the guy who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Don't destroy yourself over him...I have yet to see a single guy that's worth ruining your life over, regardless of what the mindless media says. Keep the faith.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by T0X1Qu3

I think I'm pregnant but that doesn't even phase me.

Priority #1, right there. Find out.


Any chance of moving back in with your folks for awhile? You sound like you need the support, and they can take care of the rent while you get your act together.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by How Unfortunate

Priority #1, right there. Find out.


Any chance of moving back in with your folks for awhile? You sound like you need the support, and they can take care of the rent while you get your act together.

WHOA! How did I miss that. That's definitely the top priority.

I was speaking idiomatically.