Top 10 ways to annoy public restroom stallmates

(works for both genders)

1) Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuoudly lay down your "Cross-dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor vissible to the adjacent stall

2) Cheer and clap loudly every time someone breaks to silence with a bodily function noise

3) Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "born free"

4) Grunt and strain real loud for 30 secconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6ft. Sigh relaxingly.

5) Say "C'mon Mr. Happy dont fall asleep on me!"

6) Say "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

7) Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

8) Say "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."

9) Say "Now how did that get there?"

10) Drum a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

And a bonus:
using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbour. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"


Feel free to add to this list.

How ya doing, buddy?

Most of those will only work for men for a variety of reasons, but particularly because everyone knows that women don't take dumps in public restrooms.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Interesting list, but a lot of them seem hard to do on the fly. It's like you have to go to the restroom planning to do one of these things to actually get it right. Unless everyone brings cantaloupes to the restroom with them and I just didn't know.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I've tried the peanut butter one with my sister when we were younger. Because we're dumbasses who get lots of shits and giggles out of poop and the implications it has.

My friends and I have also been real assholes in high school and put down all sorts of transparent liquids that are irritating to the skin on toilet seats. We tried Saran Wrap once or twice, but we never stuck around to see what the results were.

I remember reading one of these things for taking finals in sophomore year. Let me tell you - people HATE when you break out in song during a chemistry final.

Last semester, few and a few other girls tried to lighten to mood with Peanut Butter Jelly Time just near the end of the final. We had it timed. Most people laughed. Some others SCOWLED.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Most of those will only work for men for a variety of reasons, but particularly because everyone knows that women don't take dumps in public restrooms.

I bet they do, no one ever admits it, that's all.
No one is willing to hold their dookie in till they get home. They'd find a place to doo doo but girls most likely prefer some place like an upper class hotel.

How ya doing, buddy?

After living on a dorm floor with a community bathroom for a year, I'm no more used to taking care of business in public (sorta) than I was. I can safely say that if someone tried any one of those things on me, I'd be outta there.

Implications of Poop. lol

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

GetAnnoyed.com is a great site (I think this is where the list comes from). I'll add a couple more from the list and one I discovered elsewhere:

* Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

* Fill up a large flask w/ Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

* Go to a stall that is near another occupied stall. Every few moments, make a hooting noise like a monkey. After a few calm hoots, start screeching and yelling like a monkey under attack and drop a Baby Ruth bar into the toilet. You can chose to flush or not to flush. Leave bathroom pretending to feel relieved.

The site has some crazy stuff on it, but I like the "Ways to Annoy People in an Elevator" list.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Visavi

* Fill up a large flask w/ Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

Why use Mountain Dew though, when you can do the real deal?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Most of those will only work for men for a variety of reasons, but particularly because everyone knows that women don't take dumps in public restrooms.

Why not? You have to put your ass on the toilet seat, anyway.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Most of those will only work for men for a variety of reasons, but particularly because everyone knows that women don't take dumps in public restrooms.

I beg to differ. I worked in a restaurant a few months and I know they do. Just not everyone. (Worst case scenario maybe?)

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Fjordor

Why use Mountain Dew though, when you can do the real deal?

LOL, b/c not everyone is that talented? I just write what the website told me.

Originally Posted by Eleo

Why not? You have to put your ass on the toilet seat, anyway.

Not exactly...

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

hmm... how about singing "row row row your boat" as you try to poop?

I'd definately would laugh my ass off for that one.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?