Your loved one falls into a coma. Do you start dating again?

Say you are married, and your spouse falls into a coma, for whatever reason. Her wish to you was always to let her stay in the coma, for as long as it takes, because there might be a chance he/she could wake up.

So obviously you wait a long time to see if she wakes up. So 5-10 years go by, and your spouse is still in the coma. Do you start dating again? Would you care about that fact that one day she could wake up, and find her husband remarried with another woman?

If not 5-10 years, then how long would you wait? Would it be 20 years? Would you never move on and just ride it out with your spouse who is in the coma?

What would you do?

It's hard for me to say, because while I am a loyalist, if I got married in my 30s, then I don't know if I could go my whole life without having someone to care for, and also not having sex again.

But then if you do start dating again and remarry, and your spouse wakes up from her coma and can't wait to see their spouse. Then they find out that their spouse remarried, and are like what the hell?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Moved to The Quiet Place.

How ya doing, buddy?

I think I would wait. I'd rather not risk the gamble, so to speak, that'd be involved in dating others and possibly even remarrying. And I wager that anybody that I potentially would care for to the point of dating and even remarrying to is not the type of person that would be comfortable at the idea of me leaving a comatose spouse behind. And since it's a marriage that's involved, it wouldn't be a matter only between me, my spouse in the coma, and this other girl either. Familial flak would surely come from somewhere, and that just doesn't seem worth the trouble to me.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Anyone who says they wouldn't start dating after 5-10 years of a comotose spouse has never had to say goodbye to someone they cared for.

There's only so long you can mourn for someone.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by a lurker

There's only so long you can mourn for someone.

Well, that doesn't apply to everyone. There must be some people that would never leave their spouse. Some old fashioned people don't date even after their spouse has died; think if there's the slightest chance to get him/her back.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Comas come in many varieties. I'd defer to the doctors' opinions as to whether or not there's any chance of recovery. This comes awfully close to essentially being the Terry Schiavo question.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

You know, in a large majority of cases, a person who has been in a coma for more than a year or so will never fully recover. They almost always have to be institutionalized for the rest of their lives because of the brain damage that results from being in a coma for so long.

I wouldn't go on an active search for a new husband, but if I met someone and things naturally worked out that way, I'd go for it. Chances are my husband would never know whether we were together or not after something like that. I would keep him in my life, though. If he happened to come out of the coma I'm sure I would spend a lot of time with him and would always take care of him, and more than likely he would never know the difference.

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I am no doctor though I'd assume that the chances of coming out of a comoa after 5-10 years must be very slim. I don't know if I would remarry persay but I think I would want to seek comfort in another person.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I remember a story where a guy came out of a coma after 20 years. That is incredible.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I'd wait. Just because she's taking a long nap doesn't mean it's okay to go off and find someone else. Unless she dies in that coma, I wouldn't start dating again.

Originally Posted by Elle Driver

Dying in one's sleep is a luxury few can afford.

How ya doing, buddy?

There's a very good movie about this very same subject, it was directed by spaniard Pedro Almodovar and it's named Talk to her. You won't regret it.

As for myself, well if somehow I had this feeling that the girl really is the one I'll love then I'll stay faithful as long as it takes.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'm with a Lurker on this one.

Are those that are saying they would wait for ever and a day to be with 'the one' advocating pinning after someone you love even if they are no longer available to you for other reasons? They may have died, or left you. Would you then wait forever for 'the one' despite it being a lost cause?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Well, if they did die, I'd probably do what WolfDemon said and eventually move on. But otherwise, yes, I would wait. Now if they woke up and couldn't remember a thing about me or something, well....I honestly don't know. I would take care of her, of course. But as for 'moving on' in such a situation, in my mind that's not an easy decision to make. In thinking about it briefly, I probably would still stay with her. However, such a tough decision warrants much consideration, a lot more than what I've given now. I'd rather wait until I come to that bridge (if I do at all) before figuring out just how to cross it, so to speak.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Umma

Well, that doesn't apply to everyone. There must be some people that would never leave their spouse. Some old fashioned people don't date even after their spouse has died; think if there's the slightest chance to get him/her back.

Yes, and many of thsoe people who never remarry are in their twilight years.

Do you think a 30 year old will have the same opinion as a 70 year old? Consider the question carefully.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by a lurker

Do you think a 30 year old will have the same opinion as a 70 year old? Consider the question carefully.

Ok, you are probably right about that...

FELIPE NO

I think that, regardless of much you think about it, this is one of those scenarios that you really don’t know what you’ll do until it actually happens to you.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I would wait by there side until they came out or passed.

When you get married you make the vow that you will be there for that person though sickness. You don't go dating new people. When someone is sick that is when they need you the most.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Ask yourself this question: would you force the one you loved to be lonely for a good portion of their lives when you're unavailable? That's rather selfish. If you truly love someone, you want them to be happy. They obviously can't be happy with you if you're in a coma.

I would start dating again after an applicable mourning period. I would never marry someone that expected me to wait for them for 5-10 years.

I would never take her out of my life, though. I'd always be there for her. Just not sexually.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Loved one in a coma? If she;s female this is a good chance to fuck her at any time without having to put up with her constant yapper.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

In the end, anybody who is in a coma for like 5 years probably wouldn't be perfectly fine. And if they WERE, they'd have no right to be like "OMG you started dating again?! You're an asshole!"

THEY WERE IN A FUCKING COMA.

So after a significant amount of pain and suffering, I could probably date.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

All the people that were all "true love lasts foreverrrrrr" are fags. Period. You have sex with gay sex itself. That's how un-manly you really are. RABicle is half-right. She can't argue with anal if she can't argue. Go for it.
P.S.
you land in a coma, I'm fucking your sister the next day. Deal.

I was speaking idiomatically.

It all depends on how old I would be at the time. If I was like 25 years old when it happened and waited for 5 long years for her to wake up, I think I would seriously think over saying my good byes and move on. On the other hand, if I was 50, I might be better of waiting. But to tell you the truth, I really don't know. If she was truly the love of my life, and there was no one else for me, I might actually wait for her. It's a tricky question.

How ya doing, buddy?

Age factor aside, I'm probably going to date after the appropriate mourning period. I mean don't really expect me to be falling to a non-responsive person for the rest of my life. Love is two-way and the way I see it the waiting just makes it into one.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by a lurker

Anyone who says they wouldn't start dating after 5-10 years of a comotose spouse has never had to say goodbye to someone they cared for.

There's only so long you can mourn for someone.

Aye. That is true.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

So this woman was in a coma for a long, long time. Something like five or ten years, right? But her husband loved her dearly, and visited her every day. He would do things like read her the newspaper and talk to her about family, even though she wasn't receptive. Totally devoted.

One day the nurse took him aside before he said hello to her - he always greeted her - and told him some promising news. She was giving him a sponge bath the other day, and while washing a ... sensitive area, the wife responded. It was the faintest of sounds, but the nurse swore that she heard the wife breathe harder than normal. So, the nurse came up with a theory; perhaps if the husband had oral sex with her, maybe she would awaken.

The husband is taken back by such a frank request, but thinks the matter over and agrees. So the nurse left the room, to give them some privacy.

Ten minutes later, some alarms sound in the wife's room, and the nurse comes running in. The husband is kneeling on the bed with his pants around his knees.

"What?"

How ya doing, buddy?