Conspiracy Theories

Several prominent conspiracy theories have been getting press lately (the ever popular faked moon landing and whether Obama is actually a US citizen). There are plenty of other wacky theories to subscribe to; does anyone believe in one, or have a crazy friend/family member who buys into a conspiracy theory?

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I am personally of the opinion that people are generally too incompetent to successfully carry out most of the conspiracy theories I've heard of, but I do volunteer work at a non-profit community radio station where I've met my fair share of theorists. We actually have one guy there who, besides reading the news every other morning, hosts a show on Sunday afternoons dedicated to various conspiracy theories ranging from the standard political variety through alien coverups and even cryptozoological fluff. He's crazy, but still pretty damn interesting to listen to.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I have friends who are Truthers and/or listen to Alex Jones regularly, and as far as I've been able to piece together from years of listening to Alex Jones, his overarching conspiracy theory is that power elites are trying to force us into socialism so that they can enact a new soviet union/state capitalism, where they live lavish lifestyles in domed (possibly floating?) cities while the rest of us toil in underground factories.

How ya doing, buddy?

It's appropriate that the long standing 2012 theories are nearly at full force but considering that it's completely so painfully untrue that the world is ending on that date makes it all the more obnoxious.

Then again it's mostly kids and stupid people who talk about it seriously.

I also love Mason related theories. It's a boy's club.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I'm one of those people that despises most conspiracy theories just because when you actually look into it, so many facts are excluded from these theories that it could never claim to be the whole picture. But then, if you tell someone who's into these theories that, they say "Well, that's because that's what the (government, man, coporations) want you to believe."

Yeah, alright.

Take the Kennedy assassination (in a simplistic way), if you look at the profile of Lee Harvey Oswald, he tried to make a political assassination before...he was crazy, he was a trained marine rifleman...it all works perfectly. I think when something is as simple as "A bad man killed this guy...the end." some people simply refuse to accept it and start filling in the blanks where there isn't anything there.

Not to say every conspiracy theory is wrong, but there are limits...

I was speaking idiomatically.

My sister won't shut up about the whole 'world ending in 2012' thing. Sometimes she mentions it jokingly, but sometimes it sounds as if she's dead serious about it. It's all a bunch of shit if you ask me, though.

As for myself, while I don't actually believe in them, I do find some of the 9/11 theories interesting. But with no real way of ever confirming them (because we know the government sure won't UH HUR HUR HUR), it's hard for me to take them seriously.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The Kennedy assassination is actually one of the extremely few conspiracy theories that hold any water at all in my eyes. The conspiracy around it has unquestionably turned into some kind of snowball effect and gathered up other unrelated conspiracy theories (as these things tend to do), but there's still truth in there somewhere. Probably the most reasonable explanation I've heard is that it was a botched attempt to kill the Governor of Texas, John Connally, who was also in the car and suffered serious though not fatal bullet wounds, and was apparently in a bit of trouble with his friends in organized crime.

Again, of course it's not something where you can say "this is exactly what happened and this is why they did it". It's interesting to look at, but totally apocryphal.

FELIPE NO

In my foray into the groups that rally around Ron Paul this past election cycle, I encountered several such people as Brady describes. There was actually a disturbing number of them who were all but quoting directly from David Icke and his delusions about shape-shifting lizard people who drink human blood.
The worst offender, in fact, was the appointed director of the Michigan campaign, Paul Garfield. He was later kicked out of the campaign, which I'm guessing was due to how much of a paranoid delusional nutjob he was.
All of these people, of course, are Truthers, and despite my detailed descriptions of the properties of strength of materials, complete with calculations and anecdotal evidence, still persist in asserting that 9/11 was a controlled demolition.
I have since parted ways with all of these people.

And this isn't so much of a conspiracy theory as general paranoid wackiness: my uncle, who has formal theological training, is of the firm belief that the rapture will occur in 2012, quoting all sorts of unrelated bullshit in recent and ancient events. This is in contrast to numerous scriptures which state that such an event will not be anticipated, as well as the numerous times various christian groups have "predicted" the rapture throughout history to no avail.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Bradylama

I have friends who are Truthers and/or listen to Alex Jones regularly, and as far as I've been able to piece together from years of listening to Alex Jones, his overarching conspiracy theory is that power elites are trying to force us into socialism so that they can enact a new soviet union/state capitalism, where they live lavish lifestyles in domed (possibly floating?) cities while the rest of us toil in underground factories.

Do they watch Metropolis religiously and mumble about how that's going to be the future?

My grandparents sent me e-mails about how Obama isn't an American citizen, but, as far as I'm aware, that's the only conspiracy theory anyone in my family believes.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

My mom believes in god.

Does this count?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

lol SKY WIZARD!!!!11


But seriously though the only conspiracy theories I buy into are those surrounding the Kennedy assassination. Not all the outrageously crazy ones like GRASSY KNOLL THERE WERE ACTUALLY 14 GUNMEN UNDER THE BRIDGE UBLUBLAHH shit but stuff about the CIA setting it all up sounds fishy enough for my big, stupid female sense of gullibility to chew on that for a while.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by christinajon

Do they watch Metropolis religiously and mumble about how that's going to be the future?

That would be AWESOME. Well, not entirely awesome, but it was a happy ending right? >_>

Changling robots...awesome.

The moon landing one is the other I've heard people rant the most about and another where people just haven't seemed to check their facts. Sigh...

I actually haven't heard the one about Obama not being a US citizen What's that all about?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Lee Harvey Oswald was not a bad man, all presidents deserve to be shot.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Timberwolf8889

I actually haven't heard the one about Obama not being a US citizen What's that all about?

A small group of nuts has been demanding that Obama produce his birth certificate to prove that he's not a Nigerian sleeper agent. Even though several sources have verified it's legitimacy, they refuse to give up.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Even if it WERE true, what would it accomplish for them? President Biden isn't exactly going to reverse the Uncontrollable Slide Toward Socialism.

FELIPE NO

If they somehow proved their point, they'd probably try to argue that the whole election is invalidated, and McCain/Palin should win by default.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I'm still a little puzzled as to what exactly the 9/11 Truthers are all about. I mean, I believe to a certain extent that 9/11 was used as an excuse to launch a war in the search of oil profits but these people are vehemently of the opinion that it was our own government that plowed planes into our buildings. What are they trying to accomplish by being extremely divisive?

I also find it funny that the crux of their argument is "... and Bush just sat there... As if he KNEW!". No. He was a deer caught in headlights and it takes about 9 minutes for piss to dry, simple as that.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

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I just plain like this one.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Buildings got blown up, must be an inside job. Had no idea the Mumbai attacks were a Zionist conspiracy. But of course, the Zionist conspirators, working through the puppet US, working through their puppet Pakistan, working through handlers, to attack Mumbai. Its all so clear.



I like how Rosie has been taken up as some form of folk hero by the Truthers, bravely rallying against the powers that be to get the word out. All from one session on the View. Four daytime talkshow hosts arguing around a table. That's where I go for my hard hitting news. Now Rosie O'Donnell tapes about the truth movement are being found in Taliban caves...



Personally, Truthers are far and away the largest group I've run into. My sister was into it for a while until I talked with her about statics. I've run into a number of otherwise reasonable engineers who just can't get their heads around one plane knocking down a building. There are also a number of other folks who don't buy the controlled demolition bit, but still think that all the terrorism is just a US sham.

Thankfully, I haven't met too many folks who believe in the lizards, Illuminati, or faked moon landings. Although I have met a couple Flat Earth folks, which I guess crosses over into faked moon landings, and was a rather surreal experience.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Deesillustration requires no commentary. The work of David Dees speaks for itself as it perfectly encompasses the nature and implications of every conspiracy theory since 2002, including their lunacy. One only need mention what the fuck he's illustrating about.

I like how even that last image makes Charlie Sheen seem crazy.

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Ah conspiracy theories. I like reading up about them more because they're entertaining then because I believe they contain hidden truths. I've analysed the JFK assassination extensively, largely because I spent time doing it at school, as an elective topic. I've heard all of the theories: it was the communists; it was the mafia; it was LBJ; it was the south; it was even the south pole yeti! (Best one's "it was the driver!" though, oh man) The only one which is even remotely substantial and not completely baseless is the CIA conspiracy theory. People who like stories of corruption should definitely look it up, there are some interesting things that have been brought up (such as this HYPER ANALYSIS). Of course I don't think there was really any conspiracy behind the assassination, but it's interesting to read up about it. Gotta wonder about the Warren Commission, though (plus it's all a bit simple to say Oswald was a "lone nut").

I've also read quite a bit on 9/11 conspiracy theories and honestly they hardly have any substance whatsoever. It's just an example of overzealous and overenthusiastic theorising. And the Pearl Harbour conspiracy theory that suggests the US government knew about the impending attack? I don't even know where to begin on that one's flaws.

And alien conspiracy theories are always fun, there are some good youtube videos out there.

And holy crap David Ferrie (re: JFK assassination) is the scariest looking man to ever have lived (though admittedly he was suffering some sort of hair loss disease at the time).

Spoiler:

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Bradylama

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Shh, it's supposed to be a secret.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I just find the 9/11 conspiracies insulting really. Especially the ones that go so far as to say that the people who died in 9/11 aren't really dead but on some government farm somewhere or something equally retarded. Tell the families of the people who died that, they'll think it's a hoot.

I agree with whoever said that one can't necessarily deny that the 9/11 attacks gave the government a foothold in going to war while public opinion was on their side...but that's just history. Pearl Harbor gave the US a foothold to go to war against the axis but I've never heard anyone say that was an inside job...yet o_O

Seriousness aside though, what are the funniest conspiracy theories you've heard?

Best one for me...not really a conspiracy theory but funny none the less:

YouTube Video

Quote:

Hehe...

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Timberwolf8889

I just find the 9/11 conspiracies insulting really.

9/11 Conspiracy Theories 'Ridiculous,' Al Qaeda Says | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I'm surprised there haven't been more "Michael Jackson faked his own death and will make a comeback" theories, much like Elvis had. As a kid, I remember seeing lots of "Elvis sighting" tabloid stories, but those have died down as the years go by. Maybe it's still too soon.

Jam it back in, in the dark.