How do I put weight on?

Hi guys. For once people might not frown at the notion of coming to a gaming forum with a self help question.

In a moment of boredom yesterday I went into Boots and payed 30 pence to use their weighing machine. For my age and height I am 4 lbs underweight. This wouldn't usually trouble me, but it's my intention to sell my body to science later this year, and they have an optimal weight.

Shall I start eating loads of burgers and donuts and crap? How about finally acquiring that taste for guinness? Or, don't tell me, there's a more technical way to do this?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Eat more food. If you just want to gain weight, eat whatever garbage is high in calories. If you care about your health, don't eat donuts but things like lean red meat, chicken, wholegrain bread, oatmeal, fruits and vegetables. If you care about making sure most of the weight you gain is not fat, lift weights.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Yeah, muscle weighs more than fat so a few protein shakes and a few press-ups would be your best bet I'd have thought.

Essentially though, putting on weight is simply a case of taking in more calories than you burn off.

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Originally Posted by Elfstar

Yeah, muscle weighs more than fat so a few protein shakes and a few press-ups would be your best bet I'd have thought.

Make sure you add "rest" to this equation as well. The key to "bulking" is proper exercise, good food, and plenty of rest.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

4lbs? Jesus, that's nothing. I was going to recommend you the anorexia recovery programme but nevermind. Just lift some weights and eat a lot of protein. Avoid celery.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Not sure how much I buy into BMI and all that, but I'm about 25lb lighter than I'm supposed to be for my height. Blame the freak metabolism.

I eat a shit-ton of protein and carbs, but I've never been able to put on more than a few kilos at a time. It's one of my achievements this year to get into an exercise routine and eat healthily, and it's not exactly something I can put off forever.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Hold Mo0.

Fastest known way to put on huge amounts of weight.

FELIPE NO

Or die of asphyxiation.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by KrelEN

Not sure how much I buy into BMI and all that, but I'm about 25lb lighter than I'm supposed to be for my height. Blame the freak metabolism.

It's a good diagnostic tool for certain illnesses and disorders, but ones that monitor body fat mass are more useful in terms of health. I've managed to fuck up my metabolism so badly that I can eat one small meal a day and not lose any weight whatsoever. In fact one night I was with some mates playing Halo and Timesplitters 2 for hours just eating chocolate and chips and when I weighed myself the next day I'd actually lost weight.

How ya doing, buddy?

Your weight can fluctuate 2 - 4 lbs every day just based on the amount of water in your body. If you want to get diabetes and gain weight eat shit like donuts and drink soda all day otherwise eat more protein and healthy carbohydrates (rice, pasta, potatoes, bananas, etc) while maintaining a weekly workout routine.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Try exercising, you can always gain some muscle weight.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Gumby

Your weight can fluctuate 2 - 4 lbs every day just based on the amount of water in your body.

Exactly, hence my surprise at his fear about weight loss. I can't understand how so insubstantial an amount can be so important. If it were damaging to his health, fair enough but a mere 4lbs underweight?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?