Bottle caps and trash in the fucking sink

I go to do the dishes just now, and after unearthing a set of flatware that could feed a family of 30 from underneath about every fork ever manufactured in China, I find a few pleasant surprises. Half a box of cooked macaroni and cheese, about a half-dozen bottle caps, food wrappers, and other stuff not of this world. Is it that difficult to keep a sinkful of dishes manageable, so that the unlucky son of a bitch that ends up washing them doesn't contract the ebola virus?

What kind of things around the house just piss you off to no end?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Yeah I hate having to get a tetanus shot after doing the dishes as well.

I don't like it when someone shaves and leaves hair ALL OVER the bathroom sink. It takes all of thirty seconds to rinse the sink out.

How ya doing, buddy?

If stuff happens to roll/fall behind the toilet (Qtips, toilet paper, etc.) , that bothers me a bit.

I don't like garbages that are filled to the point where they look like they're going to overflow soon, since it's actually a it harder when you actually have to tie them up to throw away.

Recycling when there are still food fragments in the cans or splashes of liquid in containers is really gross as well.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I had to work really late one night, got home at 3 am. The next morning, I looked around to find beer and wine glasses and a large bottle of wine left out. Usually I do dishes for both my roommate and myself because I am usually the only one who uses them, but there is no way I am going to clean up his party.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

When the garbage has to be full to bursting before it is termed "full enough to throw away."

I was speaking idiomatically.

When my roommate and I get into a silent thermostat war.

He's fixed this now, but he also used to let the shower head drip after he left the shower, causing tons of water to get into the air and condense all over the tub area, making things wet and attractive to mold.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I get to live with a bunch of well-educated gentlemen, who are incapable of dealing with the following complicated tasks. It's just too hard for them. Because I guess no one's perfect, or something:

• Putting unfinished dishes somewhere other than in the sink, and thusly in the way of everyone else
• Doing the dishes often enough that you don't end up throwing away my cookware because the mould has changed states from fuzzy to solid
• Keeping your Kraft dinner boxes out of the plastics bin after the 15th discussion about it and 3rd posted, highlighted sign about it
• Turning the TV off when you LEAVE THE HOUSE
• Not beating your girlfriend when I'm two rooms over (not gonna happen...)
• Keep drains free of hair, dirt, or toilet paper rolls you dumped into your shit-filled toilet and decided to run away from
• Wiping up after stepping out of the shower so people don't get soaked on tripped on your drippings
• Going more than one foot away from the door while "but I'm not smoking in the house!"
• Cleaning your room often enough that it doesn't smell like craft dinner cheese left in the sun for 3 weeks
• Keeping the phone numbers of the landlord, utilities, phone, cable, and internet company in a location other than "lost"
• Saving freezer space by removing food items that are older than 6 months
• Closing the door in the winter
• Closing the window in mayfly season
• Pulling back on the porn downloads after the third bandwidth complaint from the ISP service
• Letting people know before you call someone to turn the water off
• Using drugs responsibly enough that I don't have to deal with you running around the house squawking like a fucking chicken
• Eating something other than the "buttered popcorn" brand that smells like a sin against man
• Taking out your garbage can out more than, oh, once a year
• Sweeping cheerios out of the bathroom at a rate >3x/yr
• Holding the laundry or shower until I'm out of the shower
• Eating food in such a manner that scurvy is avoided
• Turning off an alarm clock before locking the door and leaving for the weekend
• Not cock-blocking me (as if scoring in such a house wasn't "easy" enough)
• Starting a new garbage bag, instead of throwing your mouldy chicken on top of a full one
• Flushing the god-damn toilet

Unfortunately, I'm going to be leaving these great friends in a few days. How will I cope??

FELIPE NO

You must live in a frat house.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I love living by myself now, it's so awesome.

Last year, I had a roommate who had a pendulance to leaving milk out until it's turned into yogurt, then cheese. Then our apartment smells like cheese. And she had milk every morning, on top of her organic hemp hippie food, which she'd sometimes clean up, sometimes not. So after a while, the whole entire place was dotted with little half full bowls of milk/yogurt/cheese state with some sort of mushy cornflake like thing. Me and the other roommates told her to clean up her shit because we didn't want to touch it with a 10 foot pole and she kept on refusing. So in the end, we dumped it all into a heavy duty plastic bag and threw it outside our door.

The awful thing was that she was sharing my room and she was even filthier there. And she played obnxious music ridiculously loud, loud enough to break the sound barrier. And when I told her to use headphones, she said she didn't like them because they restricted the "magic". Also she had said music play as her alarm every morning, so I'd wake up to the sound of her crappy stereo struggling to spine the CD and then Mexican folk dance soundtrack for the next 20 minutes until she dragged herself out of bed and turned it off. Every morning at 6:30AM.

Oh the joys of dorm living. I will never in my life, understand people who have to listen to music at volumes that a deaf man can hear.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Generally, I set the rules in the house. Until, of course, ANOTHER WOMAN enters the house and decides she lives here. Including my sister.

When she comes home on break, she resets all the fucking rules on where dishes and cookware goes. I go to get a strainer. Its on the other side of the kitchen. I try to find some Windex. In the bathroom CLOSET instead of under the fucking SINK.

Why, just the other night, I come home from class in the pouring rain, and I find my frontdoor locked (the EXTERIOR, ENTRY-WAY door - which is NEVER locked.)

I slam on the door. I ring the bell. I shout and honk the horn of my truck. (I left my cell home.) I get pissed. After about 10 minutes in the cold rain, my father shows up and says "O. Cheryl must have locked it on her way in."

THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE, BITCH.

But let's not get angry about her. I once had a roommate. She was a horrible roommate. Pang can testify. She lived with us. But I think I've bitched about HER bad habits before.

Most amazing jew boots

I used to live with someone who's younger brother used to pee on the floor, whether intentional and unintentional, I have no idea. He wouldn't even bother cleaning it up. The next person that would in the bathroom, usually me, would have to endure the smell as well as the sight of a lot of piss. Disgusting.

Another person I used to live with couldn't get it through her head the concept of switching shoes when entering out house. When she walked in from the backyard door one day, she must've stepped in a whole bunch of dirt because she tracked it from the back door all the way to the bathroom and into the kitchen. After I told her what she was doing, she changed her shoes, but didn't clean up the dirt...

This same lady would eat Doritos on my kitchen table (yes, mine because I bought it) and leave crumbs all over the table and trail leading back to her area.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Its pretty lame when you come home to find trash overflowing into the floor. Its just a generally shitty looking situation.

Ive left for a week before only to come back and find my sister had 4 bags worth just lying around in the kitchen. Her excuse was that, "she didnt have time to clean up."

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

A friend of mine had a Chinese exchange student living at his place who left whole uncooked eggs lying around the house. When asked about it, he just shrugged and ignored the question. Once this guy left a pot of cold water with several eggs in it sitting on the coffee table in the living room. It wasn't bad until a week and a half after he started, when some of the harder to find ones started to smell.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Overflowing garbage, for the most part. Although I only live with my brother, I'm surprised at how quickly the trash collects. Both of us are gone for the majority of the day, but I'm usually still the one who washes the dishes as well.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Yeah, it bothers me a lot when throwing stuff in the garbage turns into a game of Jenga. I gave up on loading up the dishwasher because the one time I decided to do it, one of my roommates pretty much redid it so he could cram more stuff in. But then not everything gets totally cleaned that way. Sometimes he (HE) blasts some really lame rap or even some girl rock like Britney Spears or Destiny's Child. It not only bugs me in general but really weirds me out in the latter case. The same roommate will cook food in a pan and then leave it out overnight. This could be spaghetti, stroganoff, tuna, whatever. And on top of all that, I have to make sure to check every other day or so that he hasn't set the thermostat to 55 degrees, and change it if he has. (He'd even do this in the winter.) It's a good thing the thermostat doesn't work that great around here. Makes me glad the semester's over, frankly.

FELIPE NO

I hate it when my roomate didn't rinse the dishes and it all got hard and stuff....

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I hate seeing my work uniform sitting around the house. I try to hide it the best I can on my days off so I'm not reminded that tomorrow I have to go and do some more pointless bullshit for money.

I also went to spend time with some friends not too long ago, and their house drove me nuts. Nothing in particular, really. It was just they had a lot of anarchy in the cupboards, so if I went looking for a glass or something I'd have to go all Sherlock Holmes for the mofo.
They also had a cat that constantly threw up. It was distrubing whenever it happened during mealtime. For example:
"Hey, this casserole ain't too bad. I really like the--"
*BLAAAAAAAGH UGH UGH BLARRRRRR*
"Oh, your cat is puking again. "

Jam it back in, in the dark.

During college I came home one day to find out that, after having lent a friend my keys so he could pick up his laptop at my house, he brought some friends over as well. Either one of them was female or someone took it up the ass because I found 3 used condoms in the toilet and bottles all over my living room. The cocksuckers drank all my beer.

He's not allowed to come over to play anymore.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Encephalon

The cocksuckers drank all my beer.

This reminds me of my roommate. I come home with a case of beer, I drink one, and the next morning, I see six in the trash can the next day.

"Dude. What happened to my beer?"
"Oh don't worry. I'll throw down half for it."
"DUDE! Why should I pay half when I'm drinking a fifth?"
"Because we split bills in this apartment?"

I had to hide a bottle of Bombay in my room ever since.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

It's amazing... I really have nothing to complain about where I live.

But I mean, really, let's think about this for a minute. What earthly sense does it make to pile dishes in the sink? If you have to wash them by hand, that means you have to take every last one of them out before you can clean them. If you have a dishwasher, how much harder would it be to take a step to the left (or right), bend over, and put it in there?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Man, Skate, if only you could of seen the sink my neighboring tenants had. 2003 winter, they invited me over for pizza, beer, and beer games. I was about 18 around then and had really no desire to drink caffinated or alcoholic stuff. So, I just kinda found a spot on their floor and stood there the whole time. Eventually, I was dragged into the kitchen where I got to watch them serve pizza. I take one glance at their sink not out of curiosity, but rather "I just happened to glanced." They have a ton of cookware, bakeware, dishes, empty packages freaking overflowing from the sink. And it towered 5 feet to the ceiling from the sink's counter level. These guys never washed their dishes after what.... 4 months?

But they were party guys. They went to the same college as I did and do nothing but procrasinate, drink beer, play beer-pong, watch porn, and play games all day.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Whenever my roomate buys bread, she never finishes it all and just leave it in our room until it's consumed with mold and smells like shit. Although I guess it's no surprise she doesn't notice it until it starts to smell like shit, you practically can't even see the floor on her side of the room. She takes up way more than her half of floorspace, and part of my deskspace. Even more annoying, the last time she cleaned up I opened one of my drawers and found that she'd put some of her stuff away in there. I love my roomate, but gaaah she's such a mess.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

One common irritant I deal with are my parents insisting on leaving all the lights on in the house during daylight hours. I guess opening the blinds so the sun can do it's thing isn't acceptable these days. Plus they leave the lights on in the garage for the cats so they don't have to shit in the dark. What the hell.

Assorted annoyances go from my sister leaving her clothes in the washer/dryer, trash being filled half with recyclables, bowls of cat food put all over the house "so they don't need to go as far to eat", and some others I can't bother to remember. Not very bad, but just enough to annoy so it lingers in the mind.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Summonmaster

If stuff happens to roll/fall behind the toilet (Qtips, toilet paper, etc.) , that bothers me a bit.

One of my pet peeves.

Also, shards of toilet paper. Wet toilet paper stuck to the floor. If there's any room I cherish being clean, it is the bathroom, but with 7 people in our house, bathroom usually is gross.

Skate's deal with the dishes I have never seen, though.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I've had about 4 bottle caps, about 6 ramen packages, ramen itself almost amounting to half the packages' content, and foil thrown in the sink. I ask my roomate wtf and he says he's gonna clean it up and that he doesn't mind, but obviously he does, as I end up doing the dishes almost every time. He's also put hamburger in the microwave to defrost WITHOUT A FUCKING PLATE!!

Disgusting...

Jam it back in, in the dark.