[Rant] Kotaku: Still total shit

Upon reading some information on Spore, I came across one review from a source that I have typically found to be less than credible in their original thought, but I figure "hey, they have to write this themselves since they reviewed the game." I went ahead and read their impressions, which I am now going to pick apart. I hope most of you can relate in hating Kotaku for being a useless waste of bandwidth.

Source: Impressions: Spore? Or SimSim?

Quote:

We've all seen screen shots and video of Spore's 3D character design. There seem to be limitless options provoking endless game play.

Fair enough. We had all read about the idea of your critter evolving based on how you interact with the environment and that Will Wright had said it'll be impossible to duplicate scenarios.

Quote:

But what not many people know about Spore is that the experience lasts just five hours before you are done with a majority of the game's features. Yeah, from all of that cute character creation to the large scale city dynamics, it's over pretty quick.

"I waited in line, where's the ride?"
"The line is the ride."

Now maybe I'm crazy, but in these other Sim games, you're given the chance to plop down your city on one plot and then plop another one down on another plot. Its almost as if you can have more than one city at a time. Let's see The Sims: Multiple lots for your houses. Guess what? You can make a whole neighborhood. I find the prospect of your area to grow: Sims(a neighborhood) to Sim City pre-2K4(a whole city and neighboring cities to Sim City 2004(an entire county and then some) to what Spore offers: The whole friggin universe. I find it very likely that I will be able to have multiple games going at a time.

Kotaku gives the impression that this is your RPG where you're bound to one character for all of eternity while completing all the tasks the game has to offer, ensuring you that starting a new character will only net you the same quests you did your first run through. Remember, the game name is Spore, not SimSpore.

Quote:

So where is the ride in Spore? Four of the five stages, which Crecente recently detailed more than I will here, are done shortly after they begin. As soon as you get used to walking, you are founding a society. And as soon as you get used to conquering other societies, you get the fuck off the planet.

Wright did state that the majority of the game is set in the space section, where interaction with the other civilizations takes place.

Quote:

The effect is like watching highlights from the history of Maxis, a sort of Will Wright Cliffsnotes™ version—everything you may have missed from Sim Earth, Sim City and The Sims in an afternoon. But simultaneously, it seems like Maxis has cut out the very heart of what makes these games "Sim" titles: the actual time spent...Simming.

Sim Earth.
Sim City.
The Sims.

I find the trend there yet do not see it in the title "Spore." This isn't the Sim series that Kotaku believes to be. Its one thing to have experienced nothing else by Maxis over the years other than these simulators and to be uncomfortable with a change, but the incorporation of a different style is okay. It doesn't mean the game sucks.

Quote:

On-planet RTS elements like vehicle battles and defense towers are simplified to what looks like a casual RTS—if such a genre exists—resembling less the metaphorical game of paper, scissors rock while leaning toward the more literal interpretation.

Congrats, you took a quote from Wright in calling it a casual RTS. He wanted to bring different elements of game play into this title, allowing players to experience a variety of aspects of gaming while all linking them together here in one game. Its as if Kotaku believes that there cannot be new genres, scoffing at the lack of it being a "true" RTS with overly complicated controls, scaring away those who prefer not to micro-manage and control resources and locations.

Quote:

The payoff, therefore, needs to be the fifth level of Spore: space. It's here where players will spend hours 6-infinity conquering civilizations on a planetary scale, with each planet comprised of single player campaigns from players around the globe.

While we know that in space there will be missions to complete, I don't think that Maxis is showing anything about it at GC '07 other than a few scraps of video.

This is still a very unclear part of the game as far as what you can do short of landing on a planet and attacking the other civilizations or what we all enjoyed with moving an enemy critter to a planet that it cannot survive on and watching the thing's head explode.

Quote:

So there are two ways Spore could fold out.

1. We've all been duped. The first four levels are but an homage to what's been done, with the fifth level starting the real game, William Wright's unsung opus to be revealed in full in the coming months...the real Spore.

or

2. Spore kinda blows.

I'm sure that this criticism is over the Leipzig demo that was shown, which was without a doubt just accelerated for the purpose of being able to show a wide spectrum of the game, not just the "first five hours" of the game. The beginning is called a tutorial for the space section. You would think that you get to do more of that creation later on.

Adding to the replay value is the fact that not only can you make a new organism, but the fact that it will interact differently than the last one. The one aspect that all these Maxis games seems to retain is the sandbox mode that you experience in each one. They've all proven that the replay value in creation is always above the bar. I'm sure that simply with the understanding of perhaps the inclusion of monoliths on other planets as you get to "start over" there with a new species, suddenly the poor review turns around into what these people want: species creation. Then again, what's the harm in starting a new organism over like you do a new family on the Sims?

Doubting Will Wright is rather bold. The man is one of the greatest game creators and that his success in the past has yet to give any reason to think otherwise about his projects. The concept of "games must be 40 hours of linear play" is crap, as are most of the "experts" on Kotaku. Their lack of original thought combined with their staff's inability to examine a game for what it is and not what they want it to be has once again given me very little reason to visit, much less read any content on kotaku.com, short of using the source for criticism to educate readers and encourage them to take interest in titles based off their own impressions and not from someone who is paid to copy+paste all day.

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Well the impression is about 8 months old Lukage. Its possible that their impressions have changed if they reviewed the product now.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Kotaku: Still total shit

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Sorry, forgot to edit in the "I'm aware of how old this is"

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I'd like to point out that Kotaku editors in general are distrustful of anything not made in Japan.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Kotaku actually has original content?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

A lot of Kotaku hate here. Regardless I don't read them for reviews, rather news. Ditto Joystiq.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by guyinrubbersuit

A lot of Kotaku hate here. Regardless I don't read them for reviews, rather news. Ditto Joystiq.

Oh, so you like the blog-style "news" websites that just steal shit from other places and pretend they're a news outlet for gaming information. Sure.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I editted your thread title to be both shorter and more factual. Hope you don't mind, buddy.

As for Kotaku themselves, their news stealing, penchant for making shit up, and using hilarious "sources" for their "breaking news" is disgusting. I've thought about some serious asskickings for people who cite it as a source, and if I get enough support for it, I might just start deleting posts that do such things.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Lukage

Oh, so you like the blog-style "news" websites that just steal shit from other places and pretend they're a news outlet for gaming information. Sure.

I read Joystiq because it's a mostly effective aggregator of news without the white noise effect of digg. Kotaku's problem is that it takes Joystiq's idea and then adds a heaping helping of bias and horrible "original content" articles.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Saying Joystiq is a superior experience to Kotaku is like saying you'd rather have a sexy woman kill your cat with a meat grinder instead of a fat ugly guy beating it with a mallet. Doesn't matter how good it looks or how much more efficient it is, the end result is still extreme fucking sadness and crying.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I don't see any of you guys providing a one-stop shop for game news.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Mo0

I don't see any of you guys providing a one-stop shop for game news.

Oh, so you're cool with ebaumsworld? Nevermind giving credit or hits to the actual author of the content.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I kinda like GAF for news, even though, you know, there's a lot of idiots there too. But you don't actually have to read the threads. Just the first posts.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I still prefer gametab over joystiq and kotaku. It's a fancy RSS feed, but sage looks good awful.

And besides, kotaku is owened by Gawker Media, a large blog conglomerate type of deal. What do you expect?

Mo0: GameTab - The Game Reviews & News Compilation Site.

Skills: Your sig, specifically the IRC portion, needs to be updated.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Colonel Skills

Saying Joystiq is a superior experience to Kotaku is like saying you'd rather have a sexy woman kill your cat with a meat grinder

Originally Posted by Colonel Skills

sexy woman kill your cat with a meat grinder

Originally Posted by Colonel Skills

meat grinder

<3333

Are there any decent places to get game news that isn't fed through a corporate shit-engine?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Thank you for the GameTab recommendation, shit's exactly what I'm looking for. Links right away without any goddamn interstitial ads.

Additional Spam:

Originally Posted by Lukage

Oh, so you're cool with ebaumsworld? Nevermind giving credit or hits to the actual author of the content.

I love how you assume I don't click the "read more" links. I like Joystiq because it's the more important shit right away instead of slogging through bloated websites like GameSpot.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Um...GameTab sucks ass. How is "Street Fighter IV Announced" considered latest news?

The only place I even visit anymore is Gamersyde. They focus on media rather than the news, and that's good enough for me.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Yeah. I don't know what's up with their 1up selection. The pulldown menu that has quick links to all the new articles still works though. Never noticed that before.

Pricetabber is probably the most useful.

Edit: Also, gametab is owned by Ziff Davis, which also owns 1up. Weird.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I haven't paid any attention to 'mainstream' review and game news sites for a really long time now. You're far better off if you can find a special interest site like RPGFan for RPGs for example. Though a problem with this is there might not be any decent general genre sites equal to this.

Shacknews comes to mind but they aren't a video game dedicated site.

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I read a lot of kotaku and its not THAT bad. Of course citing kotaku as a source would be wrong since they cite their newspost sources as well.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Megalith

Kotaku: Still total shit

Sun: Still rising

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Originally Posted by xiaowei

Yeah. I don't know what's up with their 1up selection. The pulldown menu that has quick links to all the new articles still works though. Never noticed that before.

Pricetabber is probably the most useful.

Edit: Also, gametab is owned by Ziff Davis, which also owns 1up. Weird.

Its one of those loopholes where say someone thinks IGN is total shit but loves GameSpy. Same people.

FELIPE NO

I just see Kotaku as a place where they find the news for me, put it on under one site so I don't have to hunting millions of sites to find different gaming news. Besides, they cite their sources so thats not stealing, they're just spreading the word. So I don't see what's wrong with it as long as I get some daily gaming news. I skip the reviews.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Ugh its like the CAD Theorem

Jam it back in, in the dark.