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Noticing girls after they've gotten into a relationship
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nanaman
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Old Nov 18, 2007, 04:03 PM Local time: Nov 18, 2007, 11:03 PM #1 of 10
Noticing girls after they've gotten into a relationship

I don't know why, but many times I don't notice some girls before they get in a relationship with others. Like not even considering a relationship with them before they get hooked up with someone else. I've had 2 of those experiences in the recent two years (one last month) and I regret not doing anything about it earlier, cause they've really shown some interest in me, and well I've liked them too, but I just didn't think that much about it, back then. It's stupid, because I am looking for a relationship, but it just feels like I'm so blind to this stuff sometimes.

Anyone else than me who has been this stupid? And why does this happen?

How ya doing, buddy?
Paper Crane
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Old Nov 25, 2007, 12:42 AM #2 of 10
Well, I would assume it's because you never considered them as a possibility and when someone else does it sparks your attention. I would also bring to note the idea that you are attracted the to way they act around their boyfriend. Meaning that you want that kind of relationship with someone, and when you see it expressed you are therefore attracted to them. Also, this has happened to me SEVERAL times as well, you are not alone in this respect.

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Old Nov 25, 2007, 01:31 PM Local time: Nov 25, 2007, 02:31 PM #3 of 10
Also, there is the fact that when a person enters a relationship, they tend to be more joyful and appear more confident even when the other person isn't around since they aren't worrying as much about every little thing they do. So basically the reason you are noticing them is that they are probably a lot more radiant then they were before.

My advice to you is to really not waste too much time considering what might have been. If it so happens that one of them starts to see interest in you enough to let go of their boyfriend, then so be it but for now it probably won't do you much good to stay focused on that.

Hope it helps.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

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Paper Crane
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Old Nov 25, 2007, 03:33 PM #4 of 10
My advice to you is to really not waste too much time considering what might have been
I agree, don't worry about going after something that has already past. I would also that that I don't suggest 'looking' for a relationship. I find that always gets you somewhere that is shallow or unpleasant. Find someone you get along with first, then consider the idea of a relationship.

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DarkMageOzzie
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Old Nov 25, 2007, 08:05 PM #5 of 10
I haven't really had this happen, but something funny that did happen to me once. A friend of mine told me that a girl we went to school with had a crush on me, but he told me this after she got married. Yeah... that knowledge really helps me now.

I was speaking idiomatically.

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aguywholikestovideogames


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Old Nov 26, 2007, 09:25 AM Local time: Nov 26, 2007, 08:25 AM #6 of 10
I have a terribly self destructive love life. I'm always going for girls who are as likely to go out with me as most celebrities. I've run into problems such as age differences, running with different crowds, but the most common one is she's in a relationship. I know exactly how you feel.

Can I assume you're still in high school? Don't worry, this girl's relationship won't last that long. You'll get your chance soon enough.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
nanaman
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Old Nov 26, 2007, 11:32 AM Local time: Nov 26, 2007, 06:32 PM #7 of 10
Thanks for all the input! At first I thought no one was gonna post but it seemed to have changed now! Anyways, on to the topic.

Can I assume you're still in high school? Don't worry, this girl's relationship won't last that long. You'll get your chance soon enough.
I dunno if I'm in what you call high school, as I'm still a bit unfamiliar with the American/English school systems (just can't get the differences into my head), but I'm 18 years old at the moment so that should be it right? And yeah, I have been thinking the same thought as you, that I might get a chance later, but it's impossible to know if that chance will arise.

I haven't really had this happen, but something funny that did happen to me once. A friend of mine told me that a girl we went to school with had a crush on me, but he told me this after she got married. Yeah... that knowledge really helps me now.
That's happened to me too (not exactly though). I heard from a friend that this girl which I really liked had a crush on me. And I was like, woah awesome then I'll ask her out. Then I found out she already had a boyfriend (and she still has). Great.

I would also that that I don't suggest 'looking' for a relationship. I find that always gets you somewhere that is shallow or unpleasant. Find someone you get along with first, then consider the idea of a relationship.
I'm very aware of that, and really I don't just pick anyone. However as it feels now I've been without anything for 2 years just because most good picks are already taken or blindly put aside not considering a relationship with them until they've been taken too. It feels like I've really learned from my experiences now, but alas, there's absolutely no single girls left that I'd want to be in a relationship with now. At least any that I know of.

FELIPE NO
TheReverend
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Old Nov 26, 2007, 01:06 PM Local time: Nov 26, 2007, 12:06 PM #8 of 10
Grass is always greener...

But yeah, this can totally happen. I'm finding that I'm running into other girls noticing me more, just I am entering into a deep relationship. It's kind of a "jealous" mentality if you will. And it's subtle, but enough to shift your perspective on whether you would want to be with them. I would dare say that if you did get into a relationship with them, it probably would be a bit more disappointing than you would think.

Either way, there are other girls out there. There always are.

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Wanzer Radio
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Old Nov 27, 2007, 05:50 AM Local time: Nov 27, 2007, 02:50 AM 1 #9 of 10
I turned down the last 3 relationships I could have engaged in. I'm indifferent to women for now. The last four months of my life have elevated my sexual and emotional awareness. The end of a serious relationship, moving in with female strippers/call girls, my ex fiancee showing her face again, a near death experience in which I was actually resuscitated by paramedics. It's nice to remember how beautiful freedom and peace of mind are, as well as having insight on how long life really is and how much time you have to find yourself and to find love.

If you're looking for a relationship, you have to up your game. Consider what you have to offer. Are you emotionally stable? Can you be a pillar of faith if need be? Are you going places? Are you respectable by popular vote? Do you brush your teeth? Do you have a life? A means by which to entertain(job)? How's your skin? Can you make a girl smile? If you can confidently answer these questions, you should have no problem getting over your fear of women.

Like you, I was once inexperienced and naive. With experience and less internet, you'll get the hang of it. It's a process that will tear you limb from limb in exchange for higher ground and a better view. When it's good, it's great. Put yourself out there. You won't need to worry about being too late. The chicks will be interested in you from the get go.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Last edited by Wanzer Radio; Nov 27, 2007 at 06:07 AM.
DeLorean
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Old Nov 27, 2007, 09:50 PM Local time: Nov 27, 2007, 08:50 PM #10 of 10
Have you ever heard the saying 'the grass is greener on the other side'? This is exactly what that quote is referring to. For some reason it seems to be human nature to want what we can't have. It's happened to me so many times, and I see it happen to girls who borderline liked me at one point, then decided they really did after I started dating someone else. It's amazing how much more you like a girl after she's in a relationship. We seem to always want what we can't have.

TheReverend beat me to it.

There's nowhere I can't reach.
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