You heard WHAT about me?!

So despite being in college, I've been hearing a bit about people talking behind my back, spreading rumors, just acting like they never got out of the 'high school drama' phase. And it got me curious.

What have you heard people saying about you? They could have said it in the past, they could be saying it now. Gossip, rumors, what have you.

I realize this may not go far because, lets face it, who likes to spread rumors about themselves? But hey, its worth a shot.

As of right now, I've heard about people at my work who think I 'show off my boobs' too much, and I have people in one of my organizations who think I'm a prude. (How these two things go together, I'll NEVER KNOW.)

One thing in high school that I've always laughed about is how a number of people thought I was a lesbian. This rose from the fact that I refused to date any of those dumb asses (tossers, as Ence would call them) my hometown offered as 'men'. Losers, every last one of them, and I am so glad I waited until after high school to get involved with anyone.

So, let's hear it. What rumors can we spread?

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by Temari

Losers

Movie of the year.

Anyway, I honestly never heard much in high school or college. Nobody talks shit behind my back, and if they do, I never heard thing one about it. My friend Cory bitches about me occasionally, according to Temari anyway, but it doesn't bother me because I bitch about him just as much

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Senior year of High School there was a rumor going around my town that I had raped a girl. I call it a rumor because formal charges were never made, probably due to the fact I didn't do it and there's no witness or evidence to a crime that never happened.

That was fun. Sike.

Additional Spam:
Sprout, I heard you had a small penis.
Temari told me. Shhh.

How ya doing, buddy?

In middle school, there was briefly a rumor that I was a lesbian. I barely knew what a lesbian was at that age. I think I just developed slowly, emotionally, and so I was still in the "boys are icky" phase, whereas all the other girls had moved on to the drooldroolohemgeehe'ssocute phase. Thus, lesbian?

There's also a rumor going around some Internet forum that I'm a prude. CONFIRM OR DENY?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Everyone in my high school thought I was gay because I hated a friend's boyfriend. He was a dick, cheating on her and generally treating her like crap so I was always on his case. I dislike one guy for a perfectly valid reason and I'm suddenly a lesbian. Luckily my school is apparently full of people who suck at keeping things quiet so rumors spread and die relatively quickly. Besides, I went to an arts school so "gay" wasn't bad, it was just gossip.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Fresh Frank

Additional Spam:
Sprout, I heard you had a small penis.
Temari told me. Shhh.

I wouldn't know. He wishes I at least had evidence to say that. But I dont.

Oh yeah, that whole rumor about me and Sprout...? That never happened. (Or will.)

Most amazing jew boots

I hear that Sprout has a small penis, too!

(Fresh Frank told me.)

FELIPE NO

Wait, I heard that from Fresh Frank too!

*ponders the meaning behind this*

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Fresh Frank

Sprout, I heard you had a small penis.
Temari told me. Shhh.

No, she just has an ENORMOUS vagina.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Best rumour I ever heard. I'd switched schools, because I'd come back from the UK to Canada, midway through 11th grade. Wound up at this right posh school, a lot of upper class gits in khakis, you know the type.

Anyway, here I show up, still in the height of my gutterpunk days, rocking a Dublin accent as I always do when I've been home for any stretch of time, and like I said, back then I had the mohawk and the heavy facial piercings etc. Well I played for their football teams, both of them, and baseball. Pretty much kept to myself, had my own group of friends from another school. Didn't really run with any group outside of whatever girl I happened to be hooked up with at the time.

Now, I expect comments about me at this point. I alienate a few people. Play on sports teams, hate the jocks I play with. You know, standard high school idiot stuff. But I wind up hooking up with this bird after a footy game, and she tells me that I'm really nice, given what she'd heard about me.

So I ask what she heard. And this is when I get the best possible answer ever.

Rumour around the school is that I got kicked out of my last school because I raped a girl, and stabbed her boyfriend. Now, I'm laughing. And this girl is mad as hell, because she thinks I'm laughing at -her- for initially being scared of me. So I have to nicely explain that I am neither a rapist, nor a murderer, and I've also never been kicked out of a school for anything but fighting. And that wasn't my school. Apparently this rumour had gotten ALL around the school, and "everybody" knew it.

I literally didn't shake it until halfway through 12th grade, when a friend of mine from home came in and nicely explained to people that I'd left, not been kicked out, and though I'd been known to play rough, I'd never been arrested for rape at any point in my scholastic career.

By grade 12 I'd become much more my social butterfly self, and people were more willing to accept I maybe didn't stab a guy when he caught me forcing myself on his girlfriend. Which was sweet of them.

P.S.

Frank. High five on us both being imaginary rapists.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

So this rumor just came up that I have a big Vagina... I dont know WHERE people get these things.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Temari

(tossers, as Ence would call them)

You better blame any blimey English bastard like Shin for that one; I just bite their style, yo.

People have generally never talked about me behind my back and I... um... I don't like doing that either. If I have an issue I like to take it up with them personally and I expect people to extend me the same courtesy.

I did, however, have an incident where I some guy who a friend of mine lived with years ago start flapping his molars about how I was a rude and obnoxious drunk (which I am) to all his buddies in the same apartment complex. Naturally, I'd come over to visit my friend and I'd be getting all these looks and what have you and eventually I came to learn that they thought I was the one pissing in their bushes when I was hammered (something which I only do at my house, if at all, out of common courtesy) and thus making their door stop reek of stale-ass urine. Eventually I confronted that tosser (hehe) about it and he didn't even attempt to look me in the eye while I verbally fucked him six ways from Sunday.

Later on they found out it was some dude who lived 4 apartments over who, by the way, was caught railing his stepsister IN THE DOORWAY. This, by the way, is no rumor... I was there when they caught him and we laughed about it for AGES.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Everyone thought I was a lesbian for years. In middle school it really sucked, but I got over it and everyone just assumed it was true. I'm pretty sure half the people that knew who I was in high school still believe it, actually.

How ya doing, buddy?

Eiffel Tower that bitch, Deni, nevermind the fact she's consenting.

But Beaner, that's not the worst. I've told everyone I know back east that you're a tranny, an illegal, and (worst of all) have shitty taste in music. So now when you come to visit, and you had better come to visit, everyone's gonna be all, "Oooh fuck that noise, no way am I chilling with Frank's crazy Mexican friend!"

And blue, if you think I'm creepy, maybe you are a prude. Ooooh shit.

Additional Spam:
Also, I love how the lesbian rumor will probably apply to half the female population of GFF.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

When I was in High School, there was a time when my doctors were messing with my meds. One of the medications they put me on made me gain weight rapidly.

During that time there were rumors going around school that I was pregnant. I was a little offended at first but then laughed it off and took it as flattery that people thought me worthy of rumors.

I had a friend (not a terribly close one, but I still considered her a friend) who came up to me one day and said, "You know, if you need baby clothes I have a bunch up in my attic from when I had a miscarriage".

FELIPE NO

Sorry frank, I misread your first post, and that's why I deleted the creepy part!

And the lesbian rumor will most assuredly apply to ALL gff women. (Except, my guess is, the actual lesbians.)

Additional Spam:
Oh, and there's also been a startling rumor going around that my penis links the Americas.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

In high school, I had a couple of close friends. These sorts of friends were the unsavory sort that people didn't like a hell of a lot.

I am pretty sure I know who started the rumor, but at the time, it was a touchy subject. She told everyone under her breath that my friend Rich and I had a hit list. This was immediately after Columbine. Needless to say, the rumor caught like wildfire.

Within one period of one school day, Rich and I were yanked by administration, interrogated, and had our lockers searched. It was hilarious because I was laughing and Rich was crying when we were getting interrogated.

Administration was APPARENTLY getting phone calls from parents and sent a letter home with every child saying that we were suspected of some awful shit, but that they were investigating - nothing to worry about. Some of the parents demanding the school get shut down for a few days, but that never happened.

We were kind of not liked at ALL after that incident. There were some genuinely amusing rumors going around about Rich and I as a "couple," which we never really were. Just pals. The shit bored high school kids will come up with is fucking AMAZING. The sexual escapades Rich and I had sounded kind of awesomely painful.

Apart from that, I heard I was a dyke a lot. Big shock there. But really, apart from that, whatever rumors were out there about me I didn't get to hear too much. Didn't phase me.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I got that one, Sass. Because I wore (and still do) this gorgeous black wool 3/4 length greatcoat. It was my grandfathers during WW II, and served as an officer's uniform in the colder countries. Some grade 9 freaked the fuck out about it and I got called to the office. Classy stuff.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I heard one of two things talked about me behind my back during high school:

I was the mean twin (or the one that no one liked)
I was the asshole who wanted to shoot up the high school.

I haven't the slightest clue how the first one happened, but the second one I told people back in 7th grade I liked playing Doom and making levels and mods for it and apparently people were still stupid enough to automatically assume that Doom = school shootings.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Denicalis

I got that one, Sass. Because I wore (and still do) this gorgeous black wool 3/4 length greatcoat. It was my grandfathers during WW II, and served as an officer's uniform in the colder countries. Some grade 9 freaked the fuck out about it and I got called to the office. Classy stuff.

O, yea. I forgot to mention we DID wear trenchcoats. On rainy days. Imagine that. (Which here in fall is pretty much all the time.)

High school kids. Anything for a stick of drama, I guess. I just can't imagine this shit carrying on into your 20s, though, jesus christ.

Sounds like an awesome jacket, though. Wish I had one of those. ;_; (I've actually looked, but they're either godawful expensive or way too tiny. Fat people in tiny jackets and all that noise.)

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Yeah, my grandpa was the only guy in the family my size for generations. 6'4" and built like a truck.

And yeah, Wool-Cashmere blend. Beautiful.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Fresh Frank

But Beaner, that's not the worst. I've told everyone I know back east that you're a tranny, an illegal, and (worst of all) have shitty taste in music. So now when you come to visit, and you had better come to visit, everyone's gonna be all, "Oooh fuck that noise, no way am I chilling with Frank's crazy Mexican friend!"

Yet another reason why I'm glad I'm spending my $2000 on Coachella tickets, afuckload of exuberantly expensive imported beers, a wide assortment of drugs and hookers next year instead of going to the East Coast.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Because hookers don't make it complicated when you get them 'in a family way'?

FELIPE NO

You know, I used to always hate people who spread rumors that hurt other people until I realized that most of them rung some truth. I have heard rumors about many girls, and later in life gotten to know a few of them really well, and it was unbelievable how many of the rumors are true. If guys are saying you show off your boobs too much, I'd put my money on them... sorry.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Not rumors for say, but my work is gossip central. It's really terrible. There is a group of 3 women that just stand around talking crap about the other employees whenever they're not busy. I've heard them complaining about me and how I'm "a slacker" even though I'm a harder worker then them. Sad thing is these women are about the same age as my parents. Nothing is more pathetic then a bunch of hens in their 40s and 50s that never grew the hell up.

Also about 5 years ago, a girl I had tried to ask out made the mistake of letting a loud mouth manager know about it. Within a week the whole store knew about it. I actually confronted him about it and he apologized, but alot of good that does me at that point.

Jam it back in, in the dark.