Dillemma: Asking friends for money

Ok, I've gotten myself into a heap of shit here.

I've just paid for my share of the trip I'm taking to Vietnam in two weeks, which has pretty much almost stripped me bare of funds.
As bad as that sounds, it's a family trip, so I didn't have to pay for a whole lot anyway.
But as you know general everyday spending can suck up quite a bit already.

My problem is that I just got into a minor car accident.

I JUST got out of another car accident (luckily that wasn't my fault), but the fact that I'm in ANOTHER accident is something that's shitting me off.

In the back of my mind I'm expecting a huge astronomical sum of money I have to pay to them, and I'm a poor, currently unemployed uni student! >___<

What I've acheived so far is that I've offered to pay cash for the accident rather than go through insurance, cause I know they're gonna tear my ass off for damages.
I asked the lady (who was really nice) to go to 2 or 3 garages to get quotes, so I'd know a general price range.
If this deal does follow through, a car expert friend of mine said that I shouldn't expect anything more than $700-800, and I told the lady that I wouldn't be able to afford anything more than that.

The problem is I don't have a lot of cash to start with, so I've started asking a couple of friends to help me out with the payment, and that I'd pay them eventually.

The one thing I pride myself on is that I've never had to ask anyone for money.
I've also gladly given my friends money if they needed help and they've paid me back, which is all fine.

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What I wanna ask to everyone here is...

How do you guys feel about borrowing large sums of money from friends (and friends borrowing from you) in situations like this?
I don't like being in debt, but there are times when you feel like you have no choice. And it's not like I'm spending my money wrecklessly on material items or anything such that I need to be told off.


I realise though that it's open to interpretation. Some people will be harsher on this issue than others because of their experiences, but I'm welcome to all answers and feedback.

I just wanna know what you guys think.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Asking people for money is no sweat. You're a man of your word and I'm sure your mates know that. Hell I could probably spare you a hundred or so if you want.

Also are you sure it'll be cheaper to not go through insurance? You're what? 22 now? The excess couldn't be more than 700 or so by now surely.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

You gotta do what you gotta do. If you were my friend I'd smack you for not coming to me, but that's just me and hell, I'd probably just give you the money. Explain your bind and bake them cookies. Worst they can do is say no, right? Explain it to your family for that matter, maybe they'll help out too.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

1)Stop driving!

2)Get a job. Its the summer, the school term has ended...perhaps you can find short employment to pay for the debts.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

It seems like that you still maintain a close relationship with your family, is this something that they cant help you out with?

I was speaking idiomatically.

I don't know what your situation is, but I'm not sure paying up front instead of going through insurance was a good idea. I mean, I can see the reasoning - it's not like you can just ask how much it'd cost you and then say 'nevermind I got it covered' - but how badly will your rates go up that $800 up front is a better alternative?

I'd borrow money from my family or do without before I borrow significant money from friends. Of course, I wouldn't loan my buddies money on that sort of scale, either. $20 or so is basically my limit.

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I'm cool with letting my friends borrow things, but it depends on what degree. If they were my roommates whom I'm very close with, then I'm more willing to lend them money. Anything in the hundreds to me is questionable. Maybe, despite whether or not you will pay them off eventually, this might strain your relationship with your friends, and that may not be something you want but it might happen.

I would first ask your family, and if that can't be done then do what most other people would do: take a loan. Yes, you're a student, probably have poor credit (or little to none), but that's just a way of life and you've got to suck it up sometimes. My suggestion is to get a job and within the summer you should be able to pay off $800 no problem (including interest).

Also, considering where you live, is driving really necessary? Perhaps you can take public transportation, which would save you car insurance, and go with car insurance instead of paying up front. Stop coverage for a while and either take public buses/subways, or what an even better friend would do is willing to let you carpool with them.

FELIPE NO

If you got a job you could perhaps negociate paying in installments, and since the summer is here you should be able to hold one down without worrying about uni work.

I personally wouldn't ask anyone for money, but that's only because I hate knowing I owe people; a little idiosyncrasy of mine. I'm sure your friends would be willing to help nonetheless, since you seem like the kind of guy who means it when you say you'll get the money back to people.

I have a problem with lending people money; it's probably got something to do with the fact that I have next to nothing myself. If I could afford to and I trusted the person I would oblige them.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by a lurker

how badly will your rates go up that $800 up front is a better alternative?

Originally Posted by RainMan

2)Get a job. Its the summer, the school term has ended...perhaps you can find short employment to pay for the debts.

Australian. It's the nationality of t8.

Quote:

Also, considering where you live, is driving really necessary? Perhaps you can take public transportation, which would save you car insurance, and go with car insurance instead of paying up front. Stop coverage for a while and either take public buses/subways, or what an even better friend would do is willing to let you carpool with them.

Lol Sydney. TERRIBLE on the roads, TERRIBLE on the public transport. Trains are amoungst the most expensive I've ever seen, at least five times what I pay in Perth. Then there's the fact he lives well out in the 'burbs.

Also no car insurance is illegal here.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Personally, I think it's O.k. to borrow money from friends/family members etc if you are in that situation. Don't feel like you're perfect and that you cannot do everything yourself. Things happen in life, and you have to do the best thing to overcome that problem.

Asking money from a few friends isn't bad, if the situation only happened once. Now if it's a constant problem like friends asking all the time, then that's a problem.

I remember I had a friend that would always ask for money and I would gladly give him money, without really caring if he would pay me back right away. But it came to the point that it was a constant thing. Luckily, I've driven away from him and now I don't have to deal with that problem anymore. If a person gets in a problem a lot of times and will never learn from their mistakes not to do it again, then I'm sorry. But, I was more than happy to help out. It took me a while to realize that it was just taking advantage of my kindness and friendship.

But, I've been in situations that I needed money and friends would lend me money too, and I paid them back. You shouldn't feel in debt, just think of it as a burden that came up and you needed help to fix the problem.
^_^ but I know how you feel, and you shouldn't wear yourself down to the thought that you are a person that doesn't need help from anyone. Everyone needs help some time and it's o.k. That's my view. ;þ

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Well... I don't borrow money from people and to be honest. I don't mean to make you feel bad or anything but people who ask me for money piss me the fuck off. This one mother fucker used to ask me if he could borrow $60.00 plus dollars every goddamn weekend because he was constantly "in the hole." My answer was always the same. "You mutha fucker leave me alone goddamnit you get your own paycheck. Get your fuck'in bird hands away from me you useless piece of shit!" That guy was a major shitbag.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I usually lend money to my close friends in small increments (which add up fast), and I never really expect to see it back.

As far as the "borrowing" from friends, I've definitely had to do it in my darker days. It's definitely not a fun position to be in, but I've never really asked for more than $50 from any of them.

Like others have already said: would your family be a better alternative for this loan?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I'd never lend money on an informal basis. That's just asking to flush a friendship down the shitter. It's about expectations. I'll take a loss for people. I've done that with this house in Maine! But I won't give money expecting it to be paid back. With large sums in informal arrangements, it seems payments are either slow or non-existent. That kind of shit just erodes relationships.

That said, I heard a commercial for this place:
CircleLending - private and personal loans, family and friend loan creation, loan documentation and loan servicing for private mortgage, personal lending, business funding, and seller financing or owner financing

I don't know what their fee structure is like, but I could see myself entertaining the notion of lending in a formal setting through this.

I was speaking idiomatically.