Mind your manners

Probably bin dun...

How are your manners? Do you say please & thank you? Do you hold doors open for people? Do you address people correctly? Do you give up your seat on the bus/metro for older people/ pregnant women and... well, all that other bollocks we're told we should do?

OR

Are good manners something antiquated/ pointless/ dead? Do you even bother? Are you at a point now where people have treat you like shit for so long, you can't be fucked to be nice to people anymore?

These days (I feel fucking old) it seems that no one ever does any of the stuff mentioned up top, especially from younger folks. I was always told to say please & thank you, told to speak properly, not swear & respect people in general - even if they are complete bastards.

The internet is one place in particular where good manners & common courtesy are virtually non-existent. Sure, in the requests forums you get pleases & thanks left right & centre which is fine. We're nice people on GFF. But a lot of other places it seems more like, 'I DEMAND THIS NOW' sort of thing without a word of thanks.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Hmm, that raises another question, should people use manners even if they really don't feel to? like, Saying thank you if you don't mean thanks, just sounds false, and I think some people should refrain thenselves from doing it, world can live without sarcasm for a day.

But in the other hand, being polite it's good, even if it's false, because it's a fact that causes a chain reaction, you being nice with someone, and that someone being nice with another people, and so on.

Excuse if I'm rambling, the point is, manners should be used I guess, even if you don't really mean it, as long as you at least pretend you mean it.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I try to say thank you as much as possible.
I also give my seat to older people, in a discreet way. I don't ask them if they want to sit, I just move away from the seat and stand.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Of course I use good manners, I'm Southern!

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I try to say "thank you" or "thanks" wherever possible. Lots of instances whether it's not really in place, or not, such as getting off the bus at the front, when someone holds the door for me, or if someone appears to make way for me.

I always hold the door for others, just not in the formal way where you make a big deal about it. It really bugs me to no end when people just slide through the door or leave it to close in your face, especially if they know you're behind them.

On the bus, I used to do everything politely, but I leave my bag on the other seat until there is no other possible place on the bus someone can sit (I sit near the middle/back always anyways). I now hesitate when I motion to get up to let elderly people sit since someone else usually does it, or they refuse to sit.


Of course, there are also two sides to each situation. As just mentioned, I recall some elderly people being annoyed that everyone gets up to have a seat offered to them. When you pass through so many doors a day, the thanks and accumulation of extra door holding effort and lost time can break some people. etc.

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My manners are extremely good. I've got no qualms about how I deal with society and people. I guess for some people it would depend on what sort of area they grew up in?

Oh yeah: it's never happened to me, but I'm pretty sure I'd give up my seat for an elderly or pregnant person. I would say "GTFO!" to any other person wanting a seat, I would. *cough*, oh yeah, the manners thing...

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I use manners as the situation asks; around police officers, parents of friends, and old people I see on walks, I'm Eddie Haskell.
Everyone else? As the situation asks. I'll be fine until you bug me, and if you're rude to me right off the bat I'll act rude right back.

As Yami said though, saying 'thank you' when you don't mean it does sound fake, although the resulting positivity is kind of neat, especially in my case due to many people's reactions to my physical appearance.

FELIPE NO

My manners are decent and I've mostly lost the will to care anyhow. However, my table manners are of question. Personally, it's one of my biggest weakness.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Quote:

I use manners as the situation asks; around police officers, parents of friends, and old people I see on walks

Same here.

I do hold and open doors for people if it's at a convenient time, I'll say thanks if someone does something for me, but I can't remember the last time I said please without a non-sarcastic tone. :\

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I know for sure you need to have manners to get a job like let's say chemical engineer. It's a lifestyle you need to learn. Especially when you lead a couple of people, they need to see you as a good example.

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Good manners are so installed in my brain that when I'm pissed off or bitter when someone gives me something I don't say thank you and it makes me feel like such a bad dude inside. Even if I have the right.

I always say thank you (other than the above) and please. Especially in this country were courtesy and respect is valued. With women I have a strong sense of chivalry (ha, women cover about 90% of my manners) and with men a sense of I'll treat you with respect until you show me you don't deserve it. I seem to get a greater sense of satisfaction from this than I did in the States. Who knows.

However, I never give up my seat on the bus unless the woman is old, pregnant, or cute (but not if she's full of shit). Men of all ages can stand.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Omi-Cron Kenobi

I always say thank you (other than the above) and please.

I'm the same way. But, unfortunately for some, they mistake my kindness for weakness. It's humorous to see it play out, but damn disappointing that others would do that; especially in the work force.

What's more, these are also the same people I see bitching on how the world is so fucked up and that nobodies nice anymore.

Dorks.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I personally get really irriated at the lack of manners some people (younger people, mostly) seem to have. Maybe its because I work in a restaurant, but I'm ALL 'please' and 'thank yous' when I go out for dinner... or just out in general. I always hold the door for the person behind me, and probably go out of my way to be courteous to people... and for that reason get even more ticked when people aren't courteous to me.

Lack of manners while driving irritates me too... waving thank you, letting people into a lane, always using blinkers... its all stuff that I do naturally.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Work related, manners play an important role for me. If I don't show any manners to my boss, he/she will look down on me and make me do stupid shit before I get off work (take trash out and other little things to annoy me). Of course the opposite happens when I do say "Thank you", "Please", etc.

Hell even off the job I still do the same. I sometimes think that showing my manners though does make me seem weak, like what LiveTendiser said.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I don't seem to see too much of it these days. I always say "please" and "thank you" whenever appropriate in public. If an elderly person or someone who's injured happens to need help opening a door, I try to do that for them as well. Those are actions I don't generally need to think too much about before I do them.

Originally Posted by TemariPC31

Lack of manners while driving irritates me too... waving thank you, letting people into a lane, always using blinkers... its all stuff that I do naturally.

My manners while driving are different. Depending on the situation, I may let people in during traffic, but the drivers in my area are aggressive anyway so they do anything regardless of others. =p

FELIPE NO

The other end of the situation is that proper etiquette tends to have gotten a bit screwy in common usage. For instance, if someone offers to do something for you, you thank them for it. But it's been my observation that everyone always thanks them when whatever it is they're doing has been finished. Take for example cooking dinner. Someone says that they'll cook dinner. Everyone says "oh wow that's so nice thank you, etc." Then when dinner is cooked, again, "wow this is great thank you!" I never got the redundancy.

Similarly with offering and taking money or gifts. Everyone refuses persistently. Most people tend to get offended though if you DON'T eventually take their offer, and people also seem to get offended if you take their offer without at first refusing. It's all very confusing.

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I try to be as polite as possible. Good manners are big deal in this country. You should always show respect to your elders, say please/thank you, be polite, etc. But I did notice that younger people these days tend to lack proper manner. Like how they speak to people and stuff. When I bump into someone, I usually say sorry, and the other person either says sorry or they acknowledge my apology. But some kids these days are like *bump* ".. pfft..". They ought to be shot.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Vemp

I try to be as polite as possible. Good manners are big deal in this country. You should always show respect to your elders, say please/thank you, be polite, etc. But I did notice that younger people these days tend to lack proper manner. Like how they speak to people and stuff. When I bump into someone, I usually say sorry, and the other person either says sorry or they acknowledge my apology. But some kids these days are like *bump* ".. pfft..". They ought to be shot.

Yeah... manners and respect are a big deal.

Anyway, I'd say I have pretty good manners. I always say please and thank you no matter how routine it gets, like after receiving rides from friends or even just getting off the bus (thanking the bus driver, though I'll make an exception if he was 15+ minutes late ;_; ).

In high school, I used to always offer my seat on the metro to the elderly peoples. But these days, it's really troublesome to switch seats like that as it's just gotten more crowded over the years. I never sit in the reserved seats though, and I find it kinda rude/annoying when young people sit in them. =/

I'm usually pretty aware when I go around (since I'm ninja and all), so I'm aware of people around me. I'll hold doors for people that I know are behind me as I play the game of trying to gauge if I should let them through first or hold it open until they can hold it open... something like that.

Um... what else? I used to say "sir" and "ma'am" a lot when I was younger, but not so much anymore. "Sir" and "ma'am" seem to be construed as sarcastic/mean nowadays. Dunno why. But whenever I hear it, or even say it, it seems confrontational or something. Maybe not "thank you, sir" but "sir" in other uses.

Other little things: I offer to pay for things (within reason), usually just with parents and close friends (for cheaper meals or something, of course we keep tabs). I usually offer to clean up and stuff too when I eat at people's houses. Actually, I have a tendency to clean everything... except my room. =p

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I'm a polite fuck until you give me reason not to be.

I am always trying to be the most considerate and courteous person I can be. Sadly, I notice my efforts are rarely reciprocated.

I want people to treat me in the manner I treat them. I go out of my way most of the time to be polite, bite my tongue, and do the considerate thing. I only want others to return the kindness to anyone - it doesn't have to be me.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I would say that I have good manners. I always say thank you and respect people when they get me something. I always have respect for the elderly and always try to help them out.

I give respect to people who are nice and deserving of it. If someone comes alongwho's mean and hateful, then no, I don't have good manners around those people. ;p

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I am, in fact, the epitome of a gentleman. Furthermore, I always make one attempt to refuse an offering, and then I kindly accept. This way, both bases are covered and I waste the least amount of time. On the other hand, I know when not to be a gentleman. Showing my sharp, dominant side has consistently done wonders for private life. I recommend a little well placed ferocity.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I'm usually fairly nice to people. I nudge doors open again as I pass through them if someone is behind me, I'll let someone with one or two items cut in front of me at the checkout at the store, I wave someone along if they need to cross the road while I'm driving. (Just don't take your sweet ass time.)

Just don't expect me to treat you with any kind of respect if you're an unappreciative twit (Fuck all of you who don't thank me when I open a door for you.) or if you're just a jerk in general.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I'd like to think I have good manners. I say please and thank you. I address my elders in a respectful manner. I open doors for people (except in areas where people are shitheads). I let pedestrians walk across the crosswalk instead of running them over with my car. I give up my bus seat to old people (sometimes).

Actually it depends if I'm in a good mood or not how polite I am. But overall, I would say I'm not an inconsiderate brat with shithead parents who didn't teach her any better. Just sometimes you get sick of being the bigger person in a world full of rude idiots.

FELIPE NO

I'm usually courteous to others, but as of late the bitter pill that is service oriented employment has begun to wear me out. People think that they can walk all over me because shit, you're just a minuscule public servant whose title demands no respect. They have no qualms about going over my head to bitch at my managers because heaven forbid I dare charge them for labor their warranty doesn't cover. What's worse is that half the time the manager takes their side, making me look like a liar and robbing us of labor dollars to staff the workplace. Ugh.

I try to treat everyone I meet with courtesy equal to their own, but they rarely get it. They glare at me if I'm rude, never once suspecting they are being just as inconsiderate. It's tiring.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I took only ONE hit and I'm all warm and fuzzy.

Just noticed at the gym today that I had something else that I did as part of my good manners program. I let broads I'm with go up the stairs first. The only downfall is they probably think I just want to stare at their ass, especially when I do it at work.

Jam it back in, in the dark.